For the record, that was a rhetorical question. I don't know, and deep down, I don't wanna know. All I know is that recently, I experienced the single most dull 90 minutes of my life. You understand, this isn't "so bad it's good" (Criminally Insane), or even "so bad it's mind-blowing" (Troll 2). I'm talking about head-ache-inducing boredom. I don't care how far into the B-movie universe you've gone. You're not ready for this. Please, for the love of God, let this one be.
I sat there and observed the entire duration of this film. Looking closely for something, anything which might resemble entertainment value. But nothing ever happened. Not a thing. I mean, stuff happened. Conversations were had, people got killed. But why? Who were they? Did they deserve it? I just don't understand. Was I not supposed to? My questions are endless. But you know something? There are a lot of bizarre films out there that people joke about the director being on acid, or something similar (Horror House On Highway 5), but really, this is probably it. If someone was heavily into such a drug, and they just happened to get the idea that making a movie would be a swell idea, then I would imagine that their first attempt at art would turn out something like... you guessed it. Skullduggery!!
Just kidding. I'm pretty sure acid isn't to blame for this travesty. With that said, Let this be a valuable lesson to any Dungeons & Dragons geeks out there, who may get any ideas. Stay out of the world of B-cinema. You don't get it, and you never will. Just continue doing what you're doing, and don't try and be cute, by attempting to educate the world about you're favorite thing. I cannot specify enough that we are not talking about something so bad it's good. Skullduggery ain't ahead of its time, nor is it too deep to grasp. it's like watching Nascar, or C-SPAN. And really, how typical is it that this movie would be released on DVD by Substance. And what, may I ask, is up with Substance, anyway? How does a company that only acquires the most unwatchable obscurities go about staying in business? Skullduggery, I was warned about you. Every review I ever read turned out to be a warning, in one form or another. It was foolish of me for wanting you to be apart of my collection of obscure Horror. And now, I'm stuck with you. I realize that I'm the one to blame for my own misfortunes. But I won't let that stop me from despising you until my dying day. Hopefully, someday, I will learn to leave well enough alone when it comes to the unwatchables, but you will always be Skullduggery, and nothing will ever change that. And believe me when I say that I will forever warn other over-confident B-movie enthusiasts of your mind-numbing worthlessness. 1/10
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