Inspector Zenigata: [on TV] Look, counterfeit money from all over the world. I came in after Lupin and found this terrible crime. What SHALL I do?
Interpol Secretary General: He's such a bad actor.
Inspector Zenigata: Lupin! Don't you dare die before I get to arrest you!
Daisuke Jigen: We got five billion in various denominations! It's a shower of bills, look out!
[a pile falls on Lupin]
Lupin III: There's a lot of them, isn't there? More! Bury me with them!
[Jigen buries Lupin with the bills as ordered, but sees Lupin look downcast]
Daisuke Jigen: What's wrong, Lupin?
Lupin III: Dump them.
Daisuke Jigen: WHAT?
Lupin III: These are fakes. Good ones, but fakes.
Daisuke Jigen: These? It can't be! We stole these from the vault of the national casino!
Lupin III: It's Goat Money.
Daisuke Jigen: Goat Money? You mean the phantom counterfeit?
Lupin III: It's even hit the national casino... Jigen! I've decided what our next job will be! First, we're gonna celebrate!
Daisuke Jigen: Damn, damn, damn you!
Waitress: I feel sorry for Lady Clarisse. The count's known for being a real playboy.
Lupin III: Oh, really? Just like me! Say, are you busy tonight?
Lupin III: That's Zenigata, truly the ideal of the Shoowa Period. A man incomparable for his determination to his work.
Inspector Zenigata: Damn! I was a step too slow! Lupin pulled off his theft!
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: No, he didn't steal anything. He fought for me.
Inspector Zenigata: No, ma'am. He stole something of no small value... your heart.
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: Yes, he did.
Inspector Zenigata: Well, then, I must be going...
[an injured Lupin gorges himself on food]
Daisuke Jigen: Hey, stupid, don't wolf it down like that! Your stomach won't put up with it!
Lupin III: Shut up! I'll be fine in twelve hours and going like a jet!
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: Miss Fujiko!
Fujiko Mine: I came to say goodbye while I have the chance.
[removes her disguise]
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: Who in the world are you?
Fujiko Mine: I'm the only woman in the castle, employed to serve you. But in reality, I'm a spy searching for the secrets of this castle. I'd intended to stay a bit longer, but Lupin's here, so I'm leaving now because things are going to get all screwed up.
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: You know him?
Fujiko Mine: I've known him to the point that I've gotten sick of him. Sometimes we're friends, sometimes we're enemies. We've even been lovers. He's a born womanizer. Take care.
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: Did he drop you?
Fujiko Mine: No, silly. I dropped HIM.
[looking at Clarisse's tower]
Lupin III: Shit... that's a cruel cage they've shut you up in indeed!
Lupin III: What say we make a temporary truce, until we get out of here?
Inspector Zenigata: Fine. But I won't aid and abet crooks. I'll arrest you when we escape, I guarantee it!
Lupin III: Terrific. Let's have a proper shake on it.
[holds out his hand]
Inspector Zenigata: I won't become intimate with you!
Lupin III: Good grief...
Lupin III: Good ol' Zenigata, the archetypal Japanese man. Totally devoted to his work.
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: Who's there?
Lupin III: A thief.
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: A thief?
Lupin III: Good evening, Miss Bride.
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: You! You're that man from before, aren't you?
Lupin III: [holding her ring] You left this behind.
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: You risked getting caught and killed by the Count... for this?
Lupin III: Why, it's the way of thieves to risk their lives. If the job is finished, I'll leave.
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: The job? I wish I had something to give you, but for now I'm a prisoner.
[holds out a trinket]
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: Take this!
Lupin III: My prize is a treasure, locked away atop a high tower by an evil magician. Please allow this humble thief to steal it.
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: You mean me?
Lupin III: I will reclaim the treasure locked away in the vault, and I will release in a green field the girl they are attempting to force into becoming a bride. It's all in a thief's work.
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: You mean you'll set me free? Thank you. I'm very happy. But you don't understand how terrible the House of Cagliostro is. Please go away.
Lupin III: Oh, what a terrible thing. The girl believes in the power of the evil magician, but she won't try to believe in the power of the thief. If she would only believe, the thief would be able to fly through the air, and even drain a lake of its water.
[plays a few tricks and offers her some sweets]
Lupin III: This is all I can do for now.
Inspector Zenigata: These are coffins!... What is this? These are 10,000-Yen bills! Is that what all of these are?
Lupin III: These are well made! Have a look, Old Man!
Inspector Zenigata: West German 1000-Mark bills!
Lupin III: Pounds! Dollars! Francs! Roubles! Rupees! Pesos! Crowns! Lira! Oh, and they've even got Won! All the world's currencies!
Inspector Zenigata: Lupin! Is this the secret of this castle? Counterfeiting?
Lupin III: That's right. This is the source of the Goat Money, which was valued above the real thing at one time. Since the upheavals in Medieval Europe, the mysterious counterfeit currency has been there, always squirming in the shadows. It brought about the collapse of the Bourbon Dynasty, and became the source of Napoleon's funds. It also triggered the worldwide panic of 1927. The Goat Money - the Black Hole - the star on the backstage of history. All those who tried to eliminate the heart of the problem were never heard from again.
Inspector Zenigata: I've heard the stories about it, but I never dreamed that an independent nation was running it...
Lupin III: What are you gonna do, Old Man? You can't turn your back on it, now that you've seen it.
Inspector Zenigata: I know. It would shame my policeman's blood.
Lupin III: Hurry up, Old Man! We're gonna have company soon!
Inspector Zenigata: Evidence! I need evidence!
Fujiko Mine: [on TV] Thank you for waiting, ladies and gentlemen. We're now back on the air. And all hell has broken loose in the ceremonial hall!
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: Will you be going now?
Lupin III: Since all the old men have come, yes.
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: Take me with you. I can't be a thief yet, but I'll learn. Please, take me! I want to go with you!
Lupin III: Clarisse... don't talk stupid. Do you want to go back into the darkness again? You've come out into the sun at last. Hey... your life begins now. Don't become filthy like me. I'll tell you what - if you're ever in trouble, I'll fly straight to you no matter when, even if I'm on the other side of the world.
Lupin III: Oh, no! It's the Old Man again!
Inspector Zenigata: Lupin! I'll get you this time for sure!
Inspector Zenigata: Lupin managed to steal something again!
Clarisse d'Cagliostro: No, he didn't steal anything. All he did was fight for me.
Inspector Zenigata: No, he stole something quite precious... your heart.
Daisuke Jigen: Did you slip into that castle?
Lupin III: It's a story more than ten years old. I tried to solve the mystery of the Goat Money. I was still a young punk...
Daisuke Jigen: So what happened?
Lupin III: They gave me hell! I ran away with my tail between my legs.
Daisuke Jigen: Hey there, Lupin. You figure a way in yet?
Lupin III: Nope. That place is incredible. A nest of lasers and radar.
Daisuke Jigen: I see. We may even need a tank.
Goemon Ishikawa: That's why you called Zenigata, right?
Daisuke Jigen: What? Is that true, Lupin?
Lupin III: Exactly! You've got good intuition.
Goemon Ishikawa: Use poison to fight poison, eh?
Count Cagliostro: That pretty face has already lured a man to his doom. You can't deny the Cagliostro blood inside you.
[about the Roman ruins]
Lupin III: This is a treasure for all mankind. Too big for my pocket, anyway.
Daisuke Jigen: [suddenly angry] Hey... you knew that that girl we met today was the daughter of the Archduke, didn't you?
Lupin III: [scornfully] Oh... you mean I didn't tell you?
Daisuke Jigen: You... you've broken into that castle before?
Arsene Lupin III: That was more than 10 years ago. I was looking for the secret of the Goat bills. I was still a young punk, just starting out.
Daisuke Jigen: And? What happened?
Arsene Lupin III: I got my butt royally kicked! Had to run away with my tail between my legs.
Fujiko Mine: The time's come to say goodbye.
[removes off her disguise]
Clarisse d'Cagliostro: What are you...
Fujiko Mine: To all appearances, I'm the one woman who is employed here in the castle as your servant. But in reality, I'm a lady spy who's looking for this castle's secret. I was hoping to stay a little longer, but now Lupin's come. Everything's fallen apart, so I'm leaving.
Clarisse d'Cagliostro: You know that man?
Fujiko Mine: Only too well. Sometimes we're allies, at others we're enemies. Occasionally, we're even lovers. The guy's a natural born lady-killer. Watch your step around him.
Clarisse d'Cagliostro: He walked out on you?
Fujiko Mine: Oh, hardly. I walked out on HIM.
[Lupin wakes up]
Daisuke Jigen: Lupin?
Lupin III: Jigen! How long have I been out? How many days has it been?
Daisuke Jigen: Three... three days.
Lupin III: What? The wedding is tomorrow! I've got to...!
Daisuke Jigen: Take it easy! You'll tear open your wound!
Lupin III: Food! Bring me food!
Daisuke Jigen: Food? You mean rice gruel?
Lupin III: I've lost a lot of blood. Anything will do, just bring me lots of it!
Lupin III: The first thing we'll do is escape the castle. Jigen, Goemon, cover us!
Daisuke Jigen: Leave it to us! We'll hold them off here!
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: Take care of yourselves, please. You too, Mr. Jigen.
Daisuke Jigen: Wha...?
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: Please come back safely. I'll never forget your kindness as long as I live.
Goemon Ishikawa: Go on, get out of here!
Lupin III: Hurry, Clarisse!
Lady Clarisse de Cagliostro: I'm coming!
[Clarisse and Lupin leave]
Daisuke Jigen: She called me MISTER Jigen...
Goemon Ishikawa: She's sweet.
Daisuke Jigen: Let's get started!
[while on the road, Lupin meets a fellow traveler]
Lupin III: Fujiko!
Fujiko Mine: Lupin, look at my trophies!
Lupin III: The counterfeit plates... Hey! Hey! Let's be friends!
Fujiko Mine: So long!
Lupin III: Hey! Hey! Hey! Wait a second!
Daisuke Jigen: I've never heard of the Duchy of Cagliostro.
Lupin III: With a population of 3500, it's the smallest nation in the world to be a member of the U.N.
Daisuke Jigen: And that's the source of the Goat Money?
Lupin III: There's a notorious legend about it, according to those in the know. They call it "The Black Hole of the Counterfeit World."
Daisuke Jigen: Black Hole?
Lupin III: They say that no one has gotten close to it and returned to tell about it.
Daisuke Jigen: Well, I'M sure scared. I'm so scared, in fact, that I'm gonna catch some Zs...