Monty Python's Life of Brian (1979) Poster

Terence Bayler: Gregory

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Quotes 

  • Spectator I : I think it was "Blessed are the cheesemakers".

    Mrs. Gregory : Aha, what's so special about the cheesemakers?

    Gregory : Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.

  • Centurion : Where is Brian of Nazareth?

    Brian : You sanctimonious bastards!

    Centurion : I have an order for his release!

    Brian : You stupid bastards!

    Mr. Cheeky : Uh, I'm Brian of Nazareth.

    Brian : What?

    Mr. Cheeky : Yeah, I - I - I'm Brian of Nazareth.

    Centurion : Take him down!

    Brian : I'm Brian of Nazareth!

    Victim #1 : Eh, I'm Brian!

    Mr. Big Nose : I'm Brian!

    Victim #2 : Look, I'm Brian!

    Brian : I'm Brian!

    Victims : I'm Brian!

    Gregory : I'm Brian, and so's my wife!

    Victims : I'm Brian! I'm Brian!...

    Brian : I'm Brian of Nazareth!

    Centurion : All right. Take him away and release him.

    Mr. Cheeky : No, I'm only joking. I'm not really Brian. No, I'm not Brian. I was only - It was a joke. I'm only pulling your leg! It's a joke! I'm not him! I'm just having you on! Put me back! Bloody Romans! Can't take a joke!

  • Mr. Big Nose : I'll get you for this, you bastard.

    Parvus : Oh, yeah?

    Mr. Big Nose : Oh, yeah. Don't worry. I never forget a face.

    Parvus : No?

    Mr. Big Nose : I warned you. I'm going to punch you so hard, you Roman git!

    Parvus : Shut up, you Jewish turd!

    Mr. Big Nose : Who are you calling Jewish? I'm not Jewish! I'm a Samaritan!

    Gregory : A Samaritan? This is supposed to be a Jewish section.

  • Parvus : It doesn't matter! You're all going to die in a day or two.

    Gregory : It may not matter to you, Roman, but it certainly matters to us. Doesn't it, darling?

    Mrs. Gregory : Oh, rather.

    Gregory : Under the terms of the Roman occupancy, we're entitled to be crucified in a purely Jewish area.

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