The Great American Girl Robbery

There are a LOT of really awful sexploitation films out there, and normally I would admit that this is one of them. Except that there was ONE SCENE in this film that I found to be REALLY EROTIC, and because of that one scene I'm upping my rating from a "1" to a "9" (my credibility would be completely shot if I went any higher!) One of the other reviewers (lazarillo) mentions a topless beauty contest in which the kidnapped cheerleaders entertain themselves by dancing almost naked. It is during that scene when one of the bad guys grabs one of the girls (a very pretty blonde) whom he has already declared to be his favorite. But the female kidnapper stops him (threatening to shoot him), and then she takes the frightened girl into the bathroom with her, offering to give the girl a bath. The ensuing scene is very tender and soft as she bathes and comforts the girl. As a lesbian seduction scene it was cut short by the appearance by one of the stupid guys, but it was INCREDIBLY EROTIC until that point! I've never seen another sexploitation film come close to matching it. In fact, it was hotter than most XXX films, not that that's saying much.

Outside of some gratuitous nudity, there is precious little to recommend this. This was made by some of the people involved with FLESH GORDON and ALICE IN WONDERLAND, the two mid 70's porno films. Both were released in a hard version and then re-cut and played for years in toned down R versions. CHEERLEADERS features Kristine Debell ( who played Alice ) and Jason Williams ( who played Flesh, and who co-wrote this disaster ), the only other cast member of note is Marilyn Joi. The movie veers wildly between dumb T & A and a ridiculous kidnapping plot, never finding any stable tone or providing any laughs or thrills. In fact, the plot is so ridiculous it's not even worth touching on. The acting is poor all around and the direction is laughable to non existent. Kristine should be the sole reason to watch this but the film fails miserably on this level as well. While top billed, she's barely in this, has very little to say or do, and never gets naked. A huge let down as Kristine was so beautiful back then. She was involved with producer Osco for several years following ALICE and perhaps that relationship allowed her to participate in a T & A film without showing any skin. She would go from this to MEATBALLS and onto bigger things, but her career never caught fire.

We all know how titty-flicks are supposed to be right? Well, Cheerleader's Wild Weekend ignores all predetermined conventions. The girls are ugly. They are kidnapped, yet none are raped. Their are no pillow fights or happy moments of jumping. I'm not sure why they tried so hard on the plot, either.

The classification of this movie into "Horror" isn't really appropriate. It's basically a goofy flick with lots of bared flesh and a plot involving the kidnap of a busload of cheerleaders on their way to a competition. There's never any danger and it all has a happy ending. The reason to see it is simple: you like watching goofy mindless 1980's-era teenage exploitation flicks, and they don't come any more to the point than this. The ultimate mid-1980's tour de force!

Evidently, different people are looking for different things in a soft core comedy. Me, I just want to be playfully titillated, and this movie does it very well. How many times have we been disappointed when the cover artwork looked very juicy but the movie didn't deliver? This is one of the gems that makes me say, "Now that's what I'm talking' about!"

You have a bevy of cute, vibrant, teenage girls in colorful cheerleader uniforms, and one somewhat more mature woman who enriches the mix a bit. The acting is good; the girls are very animated with personality and attitude. The game of nudie peek-a-boo is well played, with teasing, finesse, and suspense around how much we are going to see and when. And then when the nudity comes, the girls are perky, succulent, and natural, with "a wiggle in the walk and a giggle in the talk" (as Big Bopper put it in "Chantilly Lace").

There is enough of an unpredictable story line to hold interest and clear the palette between nude scenes, and enough yada yada yada so you don't lose track if you get distracted by girl watching. To wit: A busload of cheerleaders from three different high schools is hijacked en route to a state competition and held for ransom. The girls are taunted sexually, and six of the cuties are goaded into a musical striptease contest. The other highlight is a tender, soapy bath administered to one of the girls by the more mature school nurse--Ooh!

Technically, the camera work is well done, with good composition and close-ups, and the dialog is clearly audible. It's easy to take these things for granted until you come across a poor movie with cluttered pictures, nudity only in fuzzy long shots, and muffled dialog. The music is fresh and lively (not bump-and-grind techno).

Also, I'm a big fan of Marilyn Joi. I've seen 9 of her movies, and this is definitely the best display her feminine charms, along with the other 14 cuties who make up the cast of cheerleaders. Have I sufficiently explained why this is one of my favorite soft-core collectables?