- Dad: What is this?
- Mom: It's sauteed zucchini.
- Dad: It's I-ty food. I don't want no I-ty food.
- Mom: It's not. I got it at the A&P. It's like... squash.
- Dad: I know I-ty food when I hear it! It's all them "eenie" foods... zucchini... and linguine... and fettuccine. I want some American food, dammit! I want French Fries!
- Mom: [to the cat] Oh, get off the table, Fellini!
- Dad: Hey, that's *my* cat! His name's Jake, not Fellini! I won't have any "eenie" in this house!
- [to the cat]
- Dad: Your name's Jake, you understand?
- Dad: I was proud of my work. And the buildings went up. When they were finished the damnedest thing happened. It was like the buildings were too good for us. Nobody told us that. It just felt uncomfortable, that's all.
- Mike's Brother: How are you fellas doing?
- Cyril: Well, we're a little disturbed by developments in the Middle East, but...
- Dad: I dreamed all last night, that everyone I ever sold a car to came back for a refund. And there you were, handing out the checks! One for you, and one for you...
- Mike: They're gonna keep callin' us "cutters." To them, it's just a dirty word. To me, it's just somethin' else I never got a chance to be.
- Dad: What's the matter? What are you cryin' for? I think you lost your wallet or something. I didn't want you to be this miserable. A little bit's all I asked for.
- Cyril: I was sure I was going to get that scholarship. My dad of course was sure I wasn't. When I didn't, he was real understanding, you know. He loves to do that. He loves to be understanding when I fail.
- [Dave crosses himself on learning of Team Cinzano's imminent arrival]
- Mom: Oh, Dave, try not to become Catholic on us.
- Cyril: You know what I'd like to be? A cartoon of some kind. You know, like when they get hit in the head with a frying pan or something, and their head looks like the frying pan, with the handle and everything? They they just go *booiing*
- [shakes head]
- Cyril: and their head comes back to normal? Wouldn't that be great?
- Mike: How'd you get to be so stupid, Cyril?
- Cyril: I don't know... I have a dumb heredity, I guess. What's your excuse, Michael?
- Owner of Car Wash: [in a cranky tone of voice] You're a little late - but I guess you won't let *that* happen again.
- Moocher: [meekly] Sorry.
- Owner of Car Wash: Here's your sponge and here's your rag and there's your place...
- Owner of Car Wash: [sarcastically] ... and don't forget to punch the clock, "Shorty."
- Moocher: [Moocher goes over and punches and breaks the time clock with his fist, then walks off the job]
- Cyril: I sure miss playing basketball. I got depressed as hell when my athlete's foot and jock itch went away.
- Elderly Woman Sitting on her Porch: [Dave rides by on his bicycle singing an Italian song] He was as normal as pumpkin pie. And now, look at him. His poor parents.
- Mike: You know, I used to think I was a really great quarterback in high school. I still think so too. Can't even bring myself to light a cigarette, cause I keep thinkin' I gotta stay in shape. - You know what really gets me though? I mean, here I am, I gotta live in this stinkin' town and I gotta read in the newspapers about some hot shot kid - new star of the college team. Every year its gonna be a new one. And every year its never gonna be me. I'm just gonna be Mike. Twenty year old Mike. Thirty year old Mike. Old mean old man Mike.
- Dave: Hi, Kathy.
- Katherine: [not realizing that Dave's not really the Italian guy he made himself out to be] Oh, God, what did you do to yourself?
- Dave: I just, uh...
- Katherine: Oh, I liked you better before. Oh, what happened to your cornicello?
- Katherine: [Dave remains silent] Now you look like everybody else.
- Dave: I *am* everybody else.
- Dave: You hear from your folks, Mooch?
- Moocher: Yeah, my dad called. He wanted to know if the house was sold. He could use the money something fierce.
- Dave: Well, you can come and live with me when it's sold. In Italy, everybody lives together.
- Moocher: [laughs] Since you won that Italian bike, man, you've been acting weird. You're really getting to think you're Italian, aren't you?
- Cyril: I wouldn't mind thinking I was somebody myself.
- Suzy: [On the phone] Oh, hi Rod, I just wanted you to know that there's some guy outside with a guitar serenading Kath!
- Dad: You know, them college boys ain't so smart. I sold one of my worst cars to one of 'em today. They ain't too smart.
- Mom: Well, you could use some help. What if you gave him a job?
- Dad: I don't want him sellin' used cars!
- Mom: Why not? It's good enough for you.
- Dad: Who says its good enough for me?
- Mom: You do.
- Dad: Damn right, it's good enough for me. But, I don't need any help. And he'd ruin me if I hired him. A weirdo kid like that. Jeez.
Contribute to this page
Suggest an edit or add missing content
