John Vernon: Dean Vernon Wormer
Dean Vernon Wormer : Here are your grade point averages. Mr. Kroger: two C's, two D's, and an F. That's a 1.2. Congratulations, Kroger. You're at the top of the Delta pledge class. Mr. Dorfman?
Flounder : [drunk] Hello!
Dean Vernon Wormer : 0.2... Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son. Mr. Hoover, president of Delta house? 1.6; four C's and an F. A fine example you set! Daniel Simpson Day... HAS no grade point average. All courses incomplete. Mr. Blu...
[sees Bluto with a pair of pencils in his nostrils]
Dean Vernon Wormer : Mr. Blutarsky... zero... point... zero.
Mayor Carmine De Pasto : If you want this year's homecoming parade in my town, you have to pay for it.
Dean Vernon Wormer : Carmine, I don't think it's right that you should extort money from the college.
Mayor Carmine De Pasto : Look, these parades you throw are very expensive. You using my police, my sanitation people, and my Oldsmobiles free of charge. So, if you mention extortion again, I'll have your legs broken.
Dean Vernon Wormer : Greg, what is the worst fraternity on this campus?
Greg Marmalard : Well that would be hard to say, sir. They're each outstanding in their own way.
Dean Vernon Wormer : Cut the horseshit, son. I've got their disciplinary files right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the varsity swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode.
Greg Marmalard : You're talking about Delta, sir.
Dean Vernon Wormer : Of course I'm talking about Delta, you TWERP!
Dean Vernon Wormer : I hate those guys.
Dean Vernon Wormer : Well, well, well. Looks like somebody forgot there's a rule against alcoholic beverages in fraternities on probation!
Otter : What a tool.
Dean Vernon Wormer : I didn't get that, son, what was that?
Otter : Uh, I said, "What a shame that a few bad apples have to spoil a good time for everyone by breaking the rules."
Dean Vernon Wormer : Put a sock in it, boy, or else you'll be outta here like shit through a goose.
Dean Vernon Wormer : Have you boys seen your grade point averages yet?
[the Deltas are silent]
Dean Vernon Wormer : Well, have you?
Hoover : I have, sir. I know it's a little below par...
Dean Vernon Wormer : It's more than a little below par, Mr. Hoover. IT STINKS! It's the lowest on campus. It's the lowest in Faber history!
Dean Vernon Wormer : The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me.
Dean Vernon Wormer : Put Neidermeyer on it. He's a sneaky little shit just like you.
Dean Vernon Wormer : Find me a way to revoke Delta's charter. You live next door. Put Neidermeyer on it, he's sneaky little shit just like you, right? The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me!
Dean Vernon Wormer : You're out! Finished at Faber! Expelled! I want you off this campus at nine o'clock Monday morning, and I've contacted your local draft boards and told them that you were all, all eligible for military service.
Dean Vernon Wormer : You better tell Mr. Stratton and Mr. Schoenstein exactly what I am about to tell you now.
Greg Marmalard : [at the trial of Delta House V. Omega House] Robert Hoover will speak on behalf of Delta House.
Hoover : [the Deltas cheer as he stands up] I don't think you can fully judge a fraternity without looking at the positive qualities of the people in it. The Delta House has a long standing tradition of existence to its' members and to the community at large.
Dean Vernon Wormer : [to Marmalard] I think we've heard enough.
Hoover : I was told I would have a chance to speak?
Greg Marmalard : We've heard enough.
Hoover : But I was told I would have a chance to speak!
Doug Neidermeyer : HE SAID THAT'S IT! ARE YOU DEAF?
Dean Vernon Wormer : [to Marmalard] Let's finish this damn thing.
Bluto : [in the background] BULLSHIT!
[the other Deltas start chanting "bullshit"]
Hoover : I don't think it's fair!
Dean Vernon Wormer : [angry] I'll tell you what's fair!
Bluto : [in the background] EAT ME!
[the other Deltas start chanting "Eat me"]
Hoover : Hey will someone tell those assholes to shut up?
Boon : Hey shut up you assholes!
[shows Katy laughing hysterically]
Otter : [stands up] Point of parliamentary procedure!
Hoover : Don't screw this up, they're serious this time.
Otter : Take it easy man, I'm in pre law.
Boon : I thought you were pre med?
Otter : What's the difference? Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief.
Dean Vernon Wormer : What's he doing?
Otter : The issue here is not that we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests. We did.
Otter : But you can't hold an entire fraternity responsible for the actions of a few sick, perverted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is to blame, then is this not an indictment of our education system in general? I put it to you, Greg! Isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do what you want to us, but I will not stand by and listen to you bad mouth the United States of America! Gentlemen!
[they cheer, walk out humming the US National Anthem]
Dean Vernon Wormer : You're not walking out of this one mister! You're finished! No more Delta! You've bought it this time, buster! I will call your national office! I will revoke your charter! And if you wise guys try one more thing, I am kicking you out of this college! No more fun of any kind!