The War of the Robots

Wow! this is an awful movie. Made in the days when science fiction films were the worst film genre in the business, War of the Robots is an utter waste of time and the producer's nugget. In this story we have Antonio Sabato leading a crew of space people in an effort to rescue a professor and his knockout assistant - who Sabato lusts for - from the evil clutches of cinema's most laughable robots. If men in their thirties and forties sporting Buster Brown haircuts and silver jumpsuits is your idea of a menacing brigade of androids, then this flick is for you. Filmed in Italy, it was shipped to Hollywood and all th European actors had their names Americanized: such as Melissa Long and Lillian Lacy to cash in on the sci-fi hysteria.

VIOLENCE: $ (The worst sci-fi shootouts are presented in this film, but keep in mind, they aren't shootouts in the usual sense. The laser guns simply flash light - they do not shoot laser beams or anything other projectile for that matter. The robots, who kill only one crew member, all die with a single flashing from Sabato's light gun. We also have "light sabers" that are basically plastic swords that illuminate. Watching Antonio slap the Buster Brown bots with this toy sword - and then laughing at the method at which the robots die - makes for unintentional hilarity).

NUDITY: None. The makers knew they had to sex up the picture a bit so they chose to give random closeups to Lillian Lacy and her sizable bust. Her character, who has more screen time than the Commander, is never given a name but simply referred to as the Commander's assistant in the credits).

STORY: $ (Absolutely inane! The professor and his assistant change allegiances as often as Pamela Anderson does husbands. In a future society, with everything run on or by machines, I find it quite ridiculous that the professor is the only man in the universe who can fix a reactor that presents impending doom to civilization).

ACTING: $ (Antonio Sabato looks like he'd rather be doing anything other than taking part in this film but he grins when the script calls for it and issues the insipid lines of dialogue when asked).