The Kentucky Fried Movie (1977) Poster

Bong Soo Han: Dr. Klahn (segment "A Fistful of Yen")



  • Dr. Klahn : The CIA thinks they can infiltrate the Mountain of Dr. Klahn!

    CIA Agent : You can't scare me, you slant-eyed yellow bastard.

    Dr. Klahn : Take him to... Detroit!

    CIA Agent : No! No, not Detroit! No! No, please! Anything but that! No! No!

  • Loo : And who are they?

    Dr. Klahn : Refuse, found in waterfront bars.

    Loo : Shanghaied?

    Dr. Klahn : Just lost drunken men who don't know where they are and no longer care.

    Prisoner #1 : Where are we?

    Prisoner #2 : I don't care!

    Loo : And these?

    Dr. Klahn : These are lost drunken men who don't know where they are, but do care! And these are men who know where they are and care, but don't drink.

    Prisoner #3 : I don't know who I am!

    Prisoner #4 : Yeah. and I don't drink.

    Dr. Klahn : Guards!

    [moves prisoners] 

    Dr. Klahn : Do you care?

    Prisoner #5 : No.

    Dr. Klahn : Put this man in cell #1, and give him a drink.

    Guard : What do you drink?

    Prisoner #5 : I don't care.

  • [Master Klahn decapitates a prisoner] 

    Klahn : Now take him to be tortured!

  • Klahn : [telephone rings, answering machine picks up]  Herro. This is Dr. Klahn. I'm not home right now. Leave a message when you hear the beyep. You have our gratitude.

    [gong sound] 

  • Klahn : We are building a fighting force of extraordinary magnitude. We forge our tradition in the spirit of our ancestors. You have our gratitude.

  • Dr. Klahn : No! Not water! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ohhh! I'm melting! I'm melting! What a world, what a world! It was a fighting force of extraordinary magnitude!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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