Richard Dreyfuss: Roy Neary
Roy Neary : I guess you've noticed something a little strange with Dad. It's okay, though. I'm still Dad.
Roy Neary : Is that it? Is that all you're gonna ask me? Well I got a couple of thousand goddamn questions, you know. I want to speak to someone in charge. I want to lodge a complaint. You have no right to make people crazy! You think I investigate every Walter Cronkite story there is? Huh? If this is just nerve gas, how come I know everything in such detail? I've never been here before. How come I know so much? What the hell is going on around here? Who the hell are you people?
[Roy is shoveling soil into his kitchen window]
Roy Neary : Ronnie, if I don't do this, *that's* when I'm going to need a doctor.
Roy Neary : I know this sounds crazy, but ever since yesterday on the road, I've been seeing this shape. Shaving cream, pillows... Dammit! I know this. I know what this is! This means something. This is important.
Roy Neary : You can't fool us by agreeing with us.
Roy Neary : Just close your eyes and hold your breath and everything will turn real pretty.
Brad Neary : I don't understand these fractions.
Roy Neary : What's one third of sixty?
Brad Neary : [bewildered] That's a fraction, I don't understand them.
Roy Neary : [using a model train as an object lesson] Alright, let's say that this boxcar is sixty feet long, OK?, and one third of it is across this switch here, alright... And now another train is coming... Now, how far do you have to move this boxcar so that the other train doesn't smash it? Quickly Brad, there are thousands of lives at stake... Brad any answer...
Roy Neary : [checking the paper] Hey, you know what's playing tonight? Pinocchio! You guys have never seen Pinocchio, you're in luck!
Brad Neary : Aw, who wants to see some dumb cartoon rated 'G' for kids?
Roy Neary : How old are you?
Brad Neary : Eight.
Roy Neary : You wanna be nine?
Brad Neary : Yeah.
Roy Neary : Then you're going to go see Pinocchio tomorrow night.
[Brad makes a disgusted gesture, but shuts up]
Ronnie Neary : Roy, that is a terrific way to win over your children.
Roy Neary : I'm not serious, I'm just saying that I grew up with Pinocchio, and if kids are still kids, they're going to eat it up.
[Ronnie looks at him in disgust]
Roy Neary : Okay, I'm wrong, all right? I'm Wrong Roy.
[Yells at his youngest son, who is demolishing his sister's doll]
Roy Neary : TOBY! You are close to death! Come out here!
[Toby giggles, but obeys]
Roy Neary : Okay, let's have a vote. Tomorrow night you can play Goofy Golf, which is a lot of standing in line and shoving and pushing, and probably getting a 'zero,' or you can see Pinocchio, which is a lot of furry animals and magic, and you'll have a wonderful time. Okay? So let's vote.
[the kids all vote for golf]
Soldier in gas mask : Are you OK sir?
Roy Neary : Yeah, I'm fine! And the only gas around here is from you guys farting around!
Roy Neary : [contemplating the lump shape] This means something. This is important.
[Roy's wife does not believe how he got the burns on his face]
Roy Neary : Well they're not moon burns, goddamnit.
Ronnie Neary : Roy, what did it look like?
Roy Neary : It was like an ice cream cone.
Ronnie Neary : What flavor?
Roy Neary : Orange. It was orange - and it wasn't like an ice cream cone. It was, it was more like a shell. You know, it was like this.
Ronnie Neary : Like a taco? Was it like one of those Sara Lee, um, moon-shaped cookies? Those crescent cookies? Don't you think I'm taking this really well? I remember when we used to come to places like this just to look at each other... and snuggle.
Roy Neary : [as Lacombe and Laughlin show him a drawing of Devil's Tower] Yeah, I've got one just like it in my living room. WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?
[Trying to get his kids to look for UFOs at 4 AM]
Roy Neary : It's better than Goofy Golf!