Up!

Russ Meyer's movies have always struck me as a cross between porn and the Loony Toons. (The bleedin' obvious, perhaps...) Hence I don't see why RM even bothers with his quasi-plots, because it's really just the (large) breasts and the rest that matter. UP! has that unique and wonderful 70s look, but without the fast-forward button it is almost unwatchable, because far too repetitious and uninteresting. Plus, occasionally it has nonsense that cannot possibly appeal to any healthy heterosexual male: Hitler getting raped?? Who the hell wants to watch that? The bottom line is that isn't funny (and the other bottom line is that we need nore female bottoms). But what can one expect from the "renowned" film-critic and gourmet, fat Roger Ebert? He co-scripted this crap, a fact that neatly fits in with his horrible taste in movies (and, I presume, food, too). Perhaps the Hitler-rape has something to do with Ebert's clandestine sexual inner fantasy world? The dialogue, as in nearly all RM films, is dull and fast-forward-worthy.

UP! was made in the golden age, when implants very rarely infested the bodies of luscious Russ Meyer women. RM's later produce is full of silicone, hence totally worthless. I guess he must have been just like any other hick who cannot differentiate between a beautiful pair of naturally formed breasts and a pair that looks like it's been pumped at NASA.

UP! succeeds only as a "live" large-breast calender, to be viewed with the remote control close at hand. As usual, there is a fair amount of imaginative directing and wild editing, but when there is no plot (or even worse: an Ebert "plot"), it isn't of much use.

And the Fedor Award For Movie's Best Pair Of Large Breasts goes to (after much, much deliberation)... the Asian woman in the early scenes (Su Ling).

The Fedor Award For Movie's Prettiest Face goes to... Alice (J.Wood).

I wonder if these women were forced to undergo couch-casting with Ebert?... An awful thought. Perhaps only the Hitler actor had to...