Linda Lovelace for President

Infamous porn star Linda Lovelace is best known for her amazing control of her gag reflex, not for performing gags, and so fans will be relieved to hear that any woeful attempts at comedy by the Deep Throat legend are more than offset by frequent full frontal nudity from the lovely lady and her enthusiastic participation in soft core sex. Still, Linda's crap comedic skills are no worse than anyone else's in this horribly dated madcap political satire: it's an all-round embarrassment of massive proportions.

Linda Lovelace plays herself, once again catapulted into the limelight when she is nominated as a presidential candidate by an eclectic group of oddball characters. What follows is a dreadfully unfunny, often perplexing series of zany scenes that were surely fuelled by copious amounts of mind-altering substances. Certainly, in order to enjoy this abysmal relic of the mid-70s, one would need to be seriously baked. The chaotic opening scene, in which a committee discusses various candidates before settling on Linda, must rate as one of the biggest tests of a viewer's patience in movie history, seemingly shot without the aid of a script or the need for a director.

With the introduction of an assassin, hired to get rid of Linda when she leads the polls, the film descends into sub-roadrunner cartoon slapstick, each gag more painful than the last. The title of worst performance must go to ex-Monkee Micky Dolenz, whose career almost audibly hits rock bottom (Metal Mickey is a work of genius by comparison), although the competition is hot. Best performance is from a talking chimp (oh, how I wish I was joking).