The Bad News Bears (1976)
Kelly: I got a Harley-Davidson. Does that turn you on? Harley-Davidson?
Tanner Boyle: Hey Yankees... you can take your apology and your trophy and shove 'em straight up your ass!
Timmy Lupus: And another thing, just wait till next year!
[after the Bears lose 18-0]
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Come on, fellas. Rome wasn't built in a day.
Ogilvie: Yeah, it took several hundred years.
Amanda Whurlitzer: Look, Buttermaker, you're not my father and I'll not move an inch to play baseball for you any more. So why don't you get back into that sardine can of yours and go, go vacuum the bottom of the Pacific Ocean? I've got business to take care of. You're blocking my customers with your car.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Those boys aren't very rough. You won't get hurt.
Amanda Whurlitzer: That's got nothing to do with it. I'm almost 12 and I'll... I'll be getting a bra soon.
[Buttermaker stares. Amanda looks at her chest]
Amanda Whurlitzer: Well, maybe in a year or so. I can't be playing all dumb baseball.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Listen, Lupus, you didn't come into this life just to sit around on a dugout bench, did ya? Now get your ass out there and do the best you can.
Engelberg: You're not supposed to have open liquor in the car. It's against the law.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: So is murder, Engleberg. Now put that back before you get me in real trouble.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: [looks at Tanner's black eye] What the hell happened to you, Tanner?
Engelberg: Tanner got into a fight
[because of the first game loss]
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Who with?
Engelberg: The 7th Grade.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: What?
Engelberg: [shouts] The 7th Grade.
Engelberg: [helping Buttermaker clean pools] When we're through, can we go swimming?
Coach Morris Buttermaker: No! Don't jump in Engleberg, you'll flood the valley.
[Ahmad gets hit in a "sensitive area" during a play]
Coach Roy Turner: Cleveland! Stretcher!
Jimmy Feldman: A stretcher for his balls?
[Amanda has been kicked in the chest]
Amanda: I know I don't got a lot up there, but what I got sure don't feel too good.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: What if he tries something?
Amanda Whurlitzer: I'll handle it.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Rolling Stones, 11 years old.
Amanda Whurlitzer: I know an 11-year-old girl who is already on the pill.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Don't ever say that word again.
Amanda Whurlitzer: Jesus! Just who in the heck you think you are?
Coach Morris Buttermaker: The goddamned manager, that's who!
Amanda Whurlitzer: Big wow!
Coach Morris Buttermaker: This quitting thing, it's a hard habit to break once you start.
Tanner Boyle: We lost eighteen to nothin', Buttercrud, and the Athletics are the worst team in the league!
Ahmad Abdul Rahim: *Second* worst...
Tanner Boyle: Sorry, I forgot.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Well, your mother and I didn't got along too well, Amanda. I liked her very much, though. I still do. As a matter of fact I'm just not the marrying kind. But I guess I handled it badly, huh?
Amanda Whurlitzer: You handled it like shit!
Coach Morris Buttermaker: [handing out cups and supporters to the boys] There is one thing I forgot to tell you guys. It's a league rule: cups and supporters.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Gotta be worn at all times.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Either you wear 'em or you don't wear 'em and you don't play.
Jose Agilar: ¡Yo no me voy a poner esto! ¡Esto duele!
[Throws his back in the box]
Jose Agilar: ["I'm not going to wear this! It hurts!"]
Coach Morris Buttermaker: What? What are you saying?
Ogilvie: I've been brushing up on my Spanish of late, and I think he is saying something about, you know, his being Catholic, and it's a sin.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Oh, for Christ's sake.
[hands it back to Jose]
Amanda Whurlitzer: We could use a good outfielder on our team
Kelly: Oh you call what you got a team?
Amanda Whurlitzer: What you got against baseball anyway?
Kelly: Well the baseball you guys play is for faggots and old farts with nothing better to do with themselves.
Amanda Whurlitzer: Well you must like those kind of guys you sure do hang around the field often enough!
Kelly: There's nice ass at the field, that's why I always hang around it.
Tanner Boyle: All we got on this team are a buncha Jews, spics, niggers, pansies, and a booger-eatin' moron!
Ogilvie: Tanner, I think you need to be reminded from time to time that you are one of the few people on this team who is not a Jew, spic, nigger, pansy or a booger-eating moron. So you'd better cool it or we may be disposed to beat the crap out of you.
Amanda Whurlitzer: Hey, Buttermaker! Maybe next spring you'll teach me how to hit.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: You bet.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Now get back to the stands before I shave off half your mustache and shove it up your left nostril.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: [leading team chant] A busted bat and a long fly ball...
Bad News Bears: Any day now, Durocher will call!
Coach Morris Buttermaker: [after team takes vote to quit the league] Do you want to quit, Tanner?
Tanner Boyle: Crud, No! I want to play ball!
Jimmy Feldman: [team riding in Buttermaker's car to practice] If you were so great, how come you never made it to the major leagues?
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Contract disputes.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: [at batting practice] Hey, Ahmad - even Hank Aaron peels the ol' eyelids before he takes a swing!
Coach Morris Buttermaker: All I know is when we win a game, it's a team win. When we lose a game, it's a team loss.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Hey, can't you hold off of that until after practice?
Engelberg: There's energy in chocolate. I need energy.
Kelly: [entering after everyone refuses to wear cups] If she doesn't wear one neither do I.
Amanda Whurlitzer: What are you doing here?
Kelly: Some asshole changed my mind
Kelly: [after getting cold shoulder from everyone] Hey does anyone mind if I warm up too?
Tanner Boyle: We didn't think you needed anybody but yourself to play catch with!
Kelly: Just cool it, runt.
[they start fighting]
Ahmad Abdul Rahim: [comes up to bat and turns to catcher] This is for Allah. And it's goin' way out there, sucka.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: [trying to console Ahmad after his errors in the first loss] There was nothing easy about those fly balls, Ahmad. They were tough chances! The sun was in your eyes!
Ahmad Abdul Rahim: Don't give me none of your honky bullshit, Buttermaker. I know they were easy.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Let's not bring race into this, Ahmad. We got enough problems as it is.
[hitting batting practice]
Coach Morris Buttermaker: [yells to infield] All right, look alive! Let's get one out there!
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Are you ready?
[Buttermaker bunts in front of the plate]
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Engleberg?
Engelberg: [exasperated] What?
Coach Morris Buttermaker: That is a bunt - B-U-N-T. The catcher is supposed to pick up the bunt and throw it to first base.
Engelberg: Well, how was I supposed to know? You made such a big deal yelling out to them.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: [sighs] Diversionary tactic, Engleberg. Now get the ball...
P.A. Announcer: [announcing Mets batter] Carl Paranski, Number 6...
Coach Morris Buttermaker: [yelling to Bears fielders] The cool Carl Paranski shift!
Cleveland: Goddamn class action suits are gonna be the ruin of this country. It wasn't so bad when the courts made us take girls. At least the ones that came could play, but now this.
Engelberg: [Takes half-empty pint of whiskey from Buttermaker's glove box and holds it up] You're not supposed to have open liquor in the car. It's against the law.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: So is murder, Engelberg. Now put it back before you get me into real trouble.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Now, guys, somebody's gonna pay for this windshield. And I think, Engelberg, it's gonna be your father.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: First base, second base, third base, home!
Bad News Bears: Around them bases we shall roam!
Coach Morris Buttermaker: What's the matter with you? All season long you've been laughed at, crapped on. Now, you've got a chance to spit it back in their faces and what do you do? You're out there like a bunch of dead fish, not listening, bonehead plays, mistakes! I mean, don't you want to beat those bastards!
[Long pause - Bears stare in silence back at Butterworth]
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Alright, get out there now and - do the best you can.
Regi Tower: [Buttermaker passes out drunk during practise] Opening day's tomorrow! We don't know what the batting order is. We don't even have our positions set or anything.
Tanner Boyle: All we got is a cruddy alky for a manager!
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Jumping catfish! What a great arm! Who is that kid, anyway?
Toby Whitewood: Of course he's got a great arm, Buttermaker. He's the best athlete in the area. But you don't understand, that's Kelly Leak.
Ahmad Abdul Rahim: You guys talking about Kelly Leak?
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Yeah.
Ahmad Abdul Rahim: That dude is a bad mother. You talk about a loan shark. I borrowed a nickel from him last week. He said if I didn't give him a dime by Friday, he'd break my arm.
Miguel Agilar: Es un bandido.
Tanner Boyle: God, does that booger-eatin' spaz make me wanna puke!
Coach Morris Buttermaker: There's chocolate all over this ball.
Engelberg: Look, Mr. Buttermaker, quit buggin' me about food. People are always buggin' me about it. My shrink says that's why I'm so fat! So you're not doin' me any good, so just quit it!
Amanda: Twelve ballet lessons.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Nine ballet lessons. They're three dollars a shot, for cryin' out loud. I can't afford...
Amanda: Twelve ballet lesson or no go.
[takes Buttermaker's cigar and throws it out of the car]
Coach Morris Buttermaker: What are you doin'? Give me that! Ah, I just lit that cigar. That's terrible. Make it nine ballet lessons...
Amanda: I want the imported kind of jeans.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Jeans?
Coach Morris Buttermaker: What are you talking about.
Amanda: French jeans.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: I'm not gettin' you any jeans.
Amanda: French jeans.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: You know how many pools y'gotta clean...
Amanda: Expensive kind.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: To get you a pair of imported jeans? What's a matter with American jeans?
Amanda: I don't like 'em.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Who do you think you are? Catfish Hunter?
Amanda: Who's he?
Coach Morris Buttermaker: You probably lost on purpose. You probably like the little baboon.
Amanda: Blow it out your bunghole!
Cleveland: They win one lousy game, the next thing you know, they'll sue for the right to play in Dodger Stadium.
Cleveland: I just get an eight count here.
White Sox Manager: I know. I know. But, it's okay. I've got the whole thing figured out. Now, this is what I do. I take my two outfielders, Henry and Thor, I play them in right and left center.
Cleveland: Oh, you stop it! You're embarrassing yourself!
White Sox Manager: Look, three of my White Sox have got the flu. I've got a god damn little Jesus freak in Bakersfield at a revival meeting!
Cleveland: I am sorry. I am sorry.
White Sox Manager: I've only got eight players!
Cleveland: I am sorry! The White Sox are gonna have for forfeit the game. It's a forfeit! It's a forfeit. The White Sox are forfeiting.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Look, Amanda, you're a terrific kid. You shouldn't be hanging around with me. I mean, I'm an old, broken-down, third rate ball player. I like to drink too much. I like to smoke my cigars without anybody bothering me, including you. I'm happy that way! I'm a bum!
Coach Roy Turner: I'm not going to talk about winning. I'm going to talk about losing! Because if you guys lose this game, each and every one of you, you're going to have to live with it.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Hey pusshead! Are you crazy? An intentional walk with the bases empty? This is baseball, not backgammon!
Coach Roy Turner: My first baseman's lonely.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: The first inside pitch you get, lean into it and let it hit you.
Rudi Stein: But, I want to...
Coach Morris Buttermaker: You want to win the game, don't you?
Rudi Stein: Well, I don't want to get hurt.
Coach Morris Buttermaker: Alright. Alright. But, you want to win the game.