The Police Are Blundering in the Dark

I don't even know where to start. I have this at the bottom of my giallo ranking, for good reason. "The Police Are Blundering in the Dark" is a 1975 film directed by Helia Colombo (actually composer Elio Palumbo) and starring complete randos (such as a man under the laughable pseudonym Danny P. Gerzog). It was actually shot in 1972 under the bizarre title "The Lettuce Garden" but wasn't released until 1975, a good indication of its "superb" quality.

Honestly, I don't know where to begin, so I'll list out the positives and negatives.

Positives: 1. The music

Negatives 1. No plot (characters sit around doing nothing) 2. Clunky camerawork 3. Bad acting 4. Dim-witted characters 5. Bad dialogue (Albertooooo!) 6. Horrible MacGuffin 7. Bad "twists" 8. You get the idea...

Does that summarize it for you? I will say I had fun watching this, only because I laughed AT it. I will commend it for trying to introduce twists. The problem is that these twists come completely out of left field and are introduced in the last five minutes.

It may seem like I am deliberately tearing this film to shreds, but I'm only telling you the truth. It's better to skip this one, because the only suspense is when it will fade to black.

2.5/10.

I guess, after having seen 140 genuine gialli and another 40 giallo-ish thrillers, I have to accept that all the really good ones are discovered already. The only ones that occasionally still float to the surface are obscure, low-rated and forgotten for a reason. The omens for "The Police are Blundering in the Dark" were quite negative from the start. Filmed in 1972 but not released until 1975? 1972 was THE most productive year for the Italian giallo ever! Dozens of gialli were released in this year, some of the best but also many mediocre ones, so how bad must it have been not to receive a release in '72? Three years later the gialli was as good as extinct, but this film still had to be released. You know what? The Poliziotesschi replaced the giallo in terms of popularity, so let's give it a new title with a reference towards the police. Minor problem, maybe... there isn't a police officer in sight throughout the entire film.

And yet, I'd lie if I said I didn't enjoy "The Police are Blundering in the Dark" at all. The script is really poor and hardly makes any sense, but the film features three extended and gruesome murder sequences, during which the female victims are largely naked before getting sliced with scissors, knives or letter openers! Isn't that the essence of gialli?

Moreover, and I just discovered this (thank you, Wikipedia), the name of writer/director Helia Colombo is a pseudonym of Elio Palumbo, and he happens to be the songwriter of - hands down - one of the most beautiful songs ever made; - namely "Tornerò" by the band "I Santo California". If you don't know it, look it up! Fascinating how the creator of such a pure and heavenly song, also made this sleazy and misogynic thriller.

Talky, nearly gore-free, and overlong at under 90 minutes, The Police Are Blundering in the Dark might be one of the least interesting giallos ever made. While most giallos aren't known for their award winning scripts or realistic dialogue, there's usually a little style or sleaze to keep one's interest, but this film is too coy and pedestrian to keep one's attention.

(1975) The Police Are Blundering In The Dark/ La polizia brancola nel buio (In Italian with English subtitles) CRIME THRILLER/ MYSTERY/ HORROR

Written and directed by Helia Colombo that has a young lady driver stuck in the middle of the gravel road asking someone to help her change a tire. He pulls out a knife and manages to rip off her clothes before he kills her so that her bare breasts can be seen for the world to see, and of course viewers do not know who the killer is until the very end. The next scene has the servant/ chauffeur, we find out later his name is Alberto (Francisco Cortéz) as he is reading the daily newspaper that indicates about a fourth missing model from the same area with it also reads "The Police are blundering in the dark" hence the title. Alberto then puts the newspaper down as the bus pulls up a lady gets off by the name of Lucia (Gabriella Giorgelli) has accepted the job as housekeeper for the Parissi family household. And while Lucia is settling in, it looks as if Alberto may have had to do something and as he was coming in to the Parissi resident, Enrichetta Blond (Margaret-Rose Keil). And while Enrichetta was driving home, she was driving in the middle of the night while raining and storming real hard, except that her car goes out and she stops by a hotel/ inn to use the phone. Upon calling her boyfriend, Georgio D'Amato (Joseph Arkim) he is sleeping around with another lady, and promises to pick her up the following morning. Forcing her to rent the room and stay the night. She suddenly becomes the second victim and on the following morning when Georgio arrives she is missing. And at this point, he becomes the main star as we find out he is not just a player, but he also happens to be a journalist as well. And her body is nowhere to be found, it would eventually lead him to the other last place she was seen with was the Parissi family household. It is there he is introduced to Edmondo Parissi (Danny P. Gerzog) who is wheelchair bound and is impotent; his wife, Eleonora (Halina Zalewska) and their niece, Sara (Elena Veronese) who lost her parents from a plane crash and sometimes the family doctor, D. Dalla (Richard Fielding) who grows lettuce.

One of the downsides of jotting down set ups and plots of many Eruo slasher movies is that they are forgettable and sometimes hard to describe. The only reason anyone would watch them are the voluptuous nude scenes if the violence itself does not do anything for anyone, the reason why I am giving this one 5 out of 10. Viewers get to see four of the young actresses that count the most to be nude of breasts and sometimes their rear end. Anyways, the movie does not make a ton of sense as the only appearance the police made throughout the entire run is towards the end too little too late. The killer is already dead explaining the why that does not make a ton of sense either.

First, this movie was made years before 1975, but didn't get released until 1975, when long movie titles with "police" were trending, due to the popularity of eurocrime. This movie was meant to have been titled The Salad Garden or something, but they changed it. This however, is a cheap and poorly executed province giallo with at least one recognizable face, most other actors you probably rarely ever saw before - and for good reasons. I don't know where to begin, you need to see for yourselves, but the bizarre salad dinner scene has some of the most hollow dialogue and acting - and not to mention the overlong crazy scientist scene performing his arts on a regular home mixing table, randomly pushing knobs for what feels like several minutes. Good lord, how did Vinegar Syndrome even go the whole mile restoring and releasing this mediocrity, when there are real low budget diamonds waiting to be recovered?