Spanish Fly

Perkins: Sir Percy, Sir Percy! Something terrible has happened.

Sir Percy de Courcy: When? Are we sinking, or something?

Perkins: No, Sir, worse, much worse. We've run out of tonic.

Sir Percy de Courcy: Run out of tonic? Well, that's not terrible, that's catastrophic!

Perkins: I'm sorry, Sir.

Sir Percy de Courcy: You're sorry? What do you mean "you're sorry"? It's like Napoleon saying "I'm sorry" after the battle of Waterloo. Perkins, do you realise that gin and tonic is the cornerstone of the British Empire? The Empire was built on gin and tonic. Gin to fight the boredom of exile, and quinine to fight malaria. How else do you think we could have carried the cross of responsibility for the lives of millions, without the friendly fortitude of gin and tonic? And you've run out of tonic, Perkins. That's treason. Go before I strike you.

Perkins: Very good, Sir.