Dolemite (1975)
Quotes
Dolemite: Ghosts? If you ever see a ghost, cut the motherfucker.
Dolemite: I'm gonna let 'em know that Dolemite is back on the scene! I'm gonna let 'em know that Dolemite is my name, and fuckin' up motherfuckers is my game!
Creeper: Yeah, I'm so bad, I kick my own ass twice a day. Shit, you ain't sayin' nothin'!
Dolemite: You no-business, born-insecure, jock-jawed motherfucker!
Reverend Gibbs: Remember, we live here with the rats and roaches, so we don't need no more rats telling us what to do! We will create our own war,. And we don't need no redneck mother--
[Detectives enter church]
Reverend Gibbs: Oh, yes, Lord! Mothers are the best friends we have!
Dolemite: Man, move over and let me pass 'fore they have be to pullin' these Hush Puppies out your motherfuckin' ass!
Dolemite: [referring to his cheap prison-issued suit] You, guard! I want you to take these cheap motherfuckers and wipe your ass with them!
Willie Green Henchman (blue suit): By the way, who're you waitin' for anyway?
Dolemite Girl: I'm waitin' for Dolemite!
Willie Green Henchman (blue suit): For who?
Dolemite: Dolemite, motherfucker, you heard her.
Detective Mitchell: Now, I know you think you're smart, see, 'cause you got all them flashy clothes, you got that big car there, you got all them Black bitches working for you.
Dolemite: You forgot about the white ones.
Dolemite: [hands Green's crew a wad of cash] Give that to Willie Green and tell him I want him out of here in 24 hours... and 23 of 'em are already gone! You understand?
Dolemite: Some folks say that Willie Green was the baddest motherfucker the world ever seen. But I want you to hold onto your seats. And hold onto them tight. 'Cause you now gettin' ready to see the story of me. Yes, me! The badass. Dolemite!
Dolemite: Way down in the jungle deep, the lion stepped on the signified monkey's feet. The monkey said, "Motherfucker, can't you see? You're standing on my goddamn feet?" The monkey lived in a jungle in an old oak tree, bullshittin' a lion every day of the week.
Dolemite: Damn! Looks like my women is on time.
[repeated line]
Dolemite: Can you dig it?
Dolemite: [after woman hands him a pair of cotton boxer shorts] Bitch, you bring me these goddamn cotton dra--you know I don't wear no fuckin' cotton draws!
Dolemite: Meet me at the Total Experience in one half a hour.
Warden: Now, you're a gambling man, aren't you?
Dolemite: Depends on the game, Warden, and how high the stakes are.
Warden: Well, I might as well level with you: The game is rough, and the stake is your life.
Dolemite: Nice to have seen you people - but fuck you, man.
Dolemite: Is the Fat Burger joint still in business?
The Queen Bee: Oh, yes. That's where the penny pimps and the nickel and dime hustlers hang out - when they ain't got no money and tricks be kinda slow.
Reverend Gibbs: Just look at that damn Watergate scandal. Now, if the leader of our country is stealing and getting away clean, what the hell do they expect us to do?
Warden: f I see him, I'll let him know that you're looking for him.
Detective Mitchell: Ah, that's mighty black of you, Reverend.
The Queen Bee: Tonight means a whole lot to me. Tonight is Dolemite's night.
Dolemite: It's nice to have seen you people. But, fuck you man!
Dolemite: What am I to do man? Lay up here and let 'em take a crack shot at my black ass?
Dolemite: Well, I'll be damned. You know, I thought you was just another one of them jive ass rooty tooty cops.
Blakeley: Who do you work for? Willie Green or Dolemite?
Reverend Gibbs: I work for nobody but the Lord. Because he said, "Blessed are the pure at heart." Amen!
Blakeley: Are you pure at heart, Reverend?
Reverend Gibbs: Yes, sir, I am. Amen. Hallelujah!
Blakeley: Then why you hidin' that broad in the back room?
Mayor Daley: Where's my wife?
Pinky: Stupid bitch is in there sleepin' like a baby.
Dolemite: One beautiful day in the merry month of May, Great Titanic, sailed away. The captain and the lieutenant was havin' a few words, when the great Titanic hit that mighty iceberg. Shine was in the boiler room eatin' some peas, black-eyed peas, it was. And the water came damn near to his knees. Before Shine could take a bite of bread, that water come darn near up to his head. Shine run up on the deck, said, "Captain, Captain, Captain, that water's damn near up to my neck." Captain said, "Shine, go back, pack the sacks. We gotta enough sacks, to keep this water back., You standin' up here, steady bullshittin' and drinkin', but can't you see this raggedy hunk-a-junk is slowly sinkin'?" I said, "Cap, I'll be in New York unpackin' my trunk when the news reach the world, this junk done sunk." The captain said, "Shine, go back and fear no doubt, 'fore I take this two-by-four and whack your black ass out." Shine said, "Captain", this shit you talkin' mighta once been true, but this is one time your motherfuckin' talk ain't gonna do." Shine just run and jumped up in the ocean, with his black ass doin' a back wheel in motion. I said, "Cap, all these rich broads run and jumped up on the top. One broad hollered, 'Shine, stop!' All this good stuff to you I'll give if you make it possible for me to live." Shine said, "Bitch, I like your shape and I like your plan, but you shoulda been offering me your stuff when we was on dry land. If I was in Mississippi and asked you for a piece of trim, you woulda had my black ass hangin' from the highest limb."
Dolemite: Here come another broad out hollerin'. Hollerin', "Shine, Shine, Shine. I'm the captain's wife. Why won't you help me to save my life? I've been through the cotton fields and I waded through the mills. And, honey, I'm a soul sista, baby and we from the same blood." "You can talk so sweet and you can sing so fine, but you shouldn't of brought your high yellow ass across that darn color line. But I'm the one you call the boiler room flunkie, now keep your ass on this ship and drown with these honkys!"
[first lines]
Prison Guard: Okay, Dolemite, the warden wants to see you.
Dolemite: Oh, shit. What the hell does that rat-soup-eatin' motherfucker want with me?
The Queen Bee: We don't have the club anymore.
The Queen Bee: What do you mean we don't have the club anymore? You know that club was my pride and joy and you've gone and give it up.
The Queen Bee: I didn't give away shit. We lost it. Me and these girls had to sell pussy on the goddamn corner. Tryin' to save your black ass. We almost lost this house.
Dolemite: Mmm, mmm, mmm. Yes baby you can get behind me and in front of me, too.
Dolemite: Another frame up, hmm.
Detective Mitchell: That's right.
Creeper: When you was on the street, everything was cool man. Now they're scared to wipe their asses man you know, and anyway. They so cold they on upped the price on stuff so high. You understand that an honest dude like me have to snatch pocketbooks all day to stay fixed, man. You know?
Dolemite: Man, who done it? Who done it? Who killed Jimmy?
Creeper: Lighten up, bro, I'll tell ya, I'll tell ya. Man, wait a minute, man. Damn. It had to do with business stuff over at the schoolhouse, man, and uh, he wanted out, man, and uh, they wouldn't let him. He went to the police, you know. It didn't do no good. One day, he was on his way to the pad. Lowriders passed by, man, and blow him up. You know, I'm comin' outta the pawn shop. You know, I seen it all. I was comm' out the pawn shop, man. That's what happened. That's the truth man.
Willie Green: Now you know Dolemite. Once he gets on your back, it's hard to get him off.
The Queen Bee: Ladies and gentlemen, the moment that you've been waiting for, the one man who has brought you "To Eat Out More Often" and "This Pussy Belong to Me".
Dolemite: What do you know about little Jimmy? Do you know who killed Jimmy, man? Who killed little Jimmy? Do you know, man?
Reverend Gibbs: The truth shall make you free!
Blakeley: Well you listen to me, you free preacher son of a bitch! Now I'm tired of your shit. And let me tell you one thing. When the shit hits the fan, Reverend, you're gonna be dead down the middle. And I'm coming after you!
Willie Green: You know your business. You take care of the business, I take care of the heat.
Revelation Funk: [singing] You know you gotta stop your crying, Sometimes it's up to you to clear your ways, It's up to you to make your sunshine, You know I love rainy days, Without my love, without the love, We'd be nowhere at all, Without the love, The love, we'd still not know the sky would fall, It's time all the time, It's time all the time...
Nurse on Hospital Intercom: Dr. Feelgood, calling Dr. Feelgood. You're wanted in inhalation therapy.
Pinky: You know what, honey? This is gonna give me a whole lot of pleasure sending you straight to hell on this toilet seat.
Dolemite: Girls, come here. Come here, girls. I've been wantin' see me a honky dance. Dance, motherfucker, dance! Dance! Dance! Girls, this motherfucker's got rhythm, hasn't he?
Mayor Daley: I had him bailed out. So I can hit him, whenever we're ready. Just get on back to the club. You just keep the blacks together. You just keep things movin'. You know what I mean. You got it. I'll take care of the Dolemite.
Dolomite Girl in Blue Lingerie: What happened to my $100, Joe? Nigga, did you take my money?
Joe - the John: That's right little bitch. I took it back. You ain't worth no $100. I am Joe Blow, the lover man. You should be payin' me, bitch.
Dolomite Girl in Blue Lingerie: Give me my money, man.
Joe - the John: Shit, what money? Shit, I get cunt like you all day, a dime a dozen, shit. Here, here's $2. Go get you some dish powder and keep it clean for me next time.
Flo: You always got business somewhere else when it comes to me, nigga. That's the trouble with you black muthafuckers. You get a fuckin' bitch in your corner and you wanna fuck all over her.
