Robin Hood (1973) Poster


Terry-Thomas: Sir Hiss - A Snake



  • [Prince John and Hiss have just been robbed by Robin Hood and Little John] 

    Hiss : I knew it! I knew this would happen! I tried to warn you, but no, no, no, you wouldn't listen. You just had to.

    [Prince John is about to hit Hiss with his mirror] 

    Hiss : Ah! Ah! Ah! Seven years bad...

    [Hiss yelps as the mirror crashes right down on him] 

    Hiss : Luck. That's what it is. Besides, you broke your mother's mirror.

    Prince John : Ahh! Mommy!

    [sucks his thumb and gets mud all over it] 

    Prince John : I've got a dirty thumb.

  • [the Sheriff of Nottingham enters the castle singing] 

    Sheriff of Nottingham : He throws an angry tantrum if he cannot have his way / He calls for Mom and sucks his thumb and doesn't want to play / Too late to be known as John the First, he's sure to be known as John the Worst!

    [to Sir Hiss] 

    Sheriff of Nottingham : [speaking]  Am I right?

    Hiss : [chuckles]  That's P.J. to a "T". Let me try, let me try.

    [lowers his voice] 

    Hiss : [singing]  Too late to be known as John the First, he's sure to be known as John the Worst!

    [sees an angry Prince John peeking behind a door, with a glass jug of wine in his hand, shrivels] 

    Hiss : The Fabulous, Marvelous, Merciful, Chivalrous.

    Sheriff of Nottingham : Oh, you've got it all wrong, Hiss. The Sniveling, Groveling, Measely, Weaseling.

    Prince John : [shouts]  Enough!

    [throws the glass jug at the Sheriff, but it hits the wall and the wine rains down on him] 

    Sheriff of Nottingham : But, but Sire, it's a big hit. The whole village is singing it.

    Prince John : Oh, they are, are they? Well, they'll be singing a different tune. Double the taxes! Triple the taxes!

    [grabs Sir Hiss by the neck] 

    Prince John : Squeeze every last drop out of those insolent musical peasants.

  • Hiss : A perfect fit, Sire! Looks most becoming! You look regal, dignified, sincere, masterful, noble...

    Prince John : Don't overdo it, Hiss!

  • [after being stuffed into a barrel full of ale] 

    Hiss : Please! Please! I don't drink!

  • Prince John : One more hiss out of you uhm Hiss. And you are walking to Nottingham.

    Hiss : [to himself]  Snakes don't walk, they slither. Hmph. So there.

  • Prince John : Taxes! Taxes! Beautiful, lovely taxes! Ah-hah! Ah-hah!

    Hiss : Sire, you have an absolute skill for encouraging contributions from the poor.


    Prince John : To coin a phrase, my dear counselor, rob the poor to give the rich.

  • Hiss : [Prince John is sucking his thumb]  Sire, if you don't mind my saying, you see you have a very loud thumb.

    [starts to hypnotize him] 

    Hiss : Hypnosisss can cure you of your psychosis so easy.

    Prince John : [Snaps out of it and screams]  No, no! None of that!

    Hiss : Well, I was only trying to help.

    Prince John : I wonder. Silly serpent.

    Hiss : Silly serpent?

  • Little John : [after sitting on Hiss]  Oh, excuse me, Buster.

    Hiss : Buster? You, sir, have taken my seat!

    Prince John : [laughs]  Hiss, with you around, who needs a court jester?

  • Prince John : Robbed! I've been robbed! Hiss! You're never around when I need you!

    [clears his throat] 

    Prince John : I've been robbed.

    Hiss : Of course you've been robbed!

  • Hiss : How nobly King Richard's crown sit on your royal brow.

    Prince John : Doesn't it? King Richard?

    [wrings Hiss' neck] 

    Prince John : I told you never to mention my brother's name!

    Hiss : A mere slip of the forked tongue, Sire.

  • Prince John : Hiss! You're never around when I need you!

    Hiss : Coming, coming.

    [begins singing 'For I'm a Jolly Good Fellow' until Prince John uncorks the barrel he's in] 

    Hiss : Oh! there you are old boy! P.J., you're not going to believe this, but the stork is really Robin Hood.

    Prince John : Robin Hood?

    [screams angrily] 

    Prince John : [ties Hiss around a pole] 

    Prince John : Get out of that if you can.

  • Prince John : My trap is baited and set! And then, revenge! Ahh.

    [screams so loud it almost blows off Hiss' skin] 

    Prince John : Revenge!

    Hiss : Shh! Not so loud, sire! Remember, only you and I know, and your secret is my secret.

  • Hiss : Sire, taxes are pouring in, the jail is full. Oh and good news, Sire. Friar Tuck is in jail.

    Prince John : [Angry]  Friar Tuck? It's Robin Hood I want, you idiot! Oh, I'd give all my gold if I could get my hands on. Did you say, Friar Tuck?

    Hiss : Did I? Y-yes, I did.

    Prince John : Yes, yes! I have it, Hiss! I'll use that fat friar as bait to trap Robin Hood.

    Hiss : Another trap?

    Prince John : Yes, you stupid serpent. Friar Tuck will be led to the gallows at the village square, don't you see.

    Hiss : B-But Sire! Hang Friar Tuck? A man of the Church?

    Prince John : Yes, my reluctant reptile, and when our elusive hero tries to rescue the corpulent cleric

    [laughs evilly] 

    Prince John : my men will be ready.

    [laughs evilly] 

  • Hiss : What cheek! Creepy? Buster? Long one? Who does that dupey duke think he is?

  • Hiss : Sire, sire, they may be bandits.

    Prince John : Oh, poppycock. Female bandits? What next? Rubbish. Um, um, my dear ladies, you have my permission to kiss the royal hands. Whichever you like, first.

  • Hiss : I tried to tell you, but no, no, no, you wouldn't listen. Your traps just never work. And now look what you've done to your mother's castle.

  • Prince John : That insolent blackguard. Oooh! I'll show him who wears the crown!

    Hiss : I share your loathing, Sire. That scurrilous scoundrel who fooled you with that silly disguise, who dared to rob you and made you look so utterly ridiculous.

    Prince John : Enough!

    [swings at Hiss, who dodges him] 

    Prince John : Hiss, you deliberately dodged.

    Hiss : But, but, but Sire, please.

    Prince John : Stop sniveling and hold still.

    [Hiss holds still while Prince John hits him] 

    Hiss : [dazed]  Thank you, Sire.

  • Hiss : [hisses in Prince John's ear after Little John steals the diamonds from his rings] 

    Prince John : [screams and chuckles]  Hiss oh you have hissed your last hiss.

    Hiss : [gulps after his neck has been tied into a knot and has a dirty look after Prince John puts him in his basket] 

    Prince John : Suspicious snake.

  • Prince John : What is the next stop Sir Hiss?

    Hiss : Let's see. I. Oh the next stop is Nottingham, sire.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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