Robin Hood (1973)
Phil Harris: Little John - A Bear
Little John : You know somethin', Robin. I was just wonderin', are we good guys or bad guys? You know, I mean, uh? Our robbin' the rich to feed the poor.
Robin Hood : Rob? Tsk tsk tsk. That's a naughty word. We never rob. We just sort of borrow a bit from those who can afford it.
Little John : Borrow? Boy, are we in debt.
Little John : You're burning the chow!
Robin Hood : Sorry, Johnny. Guess I was thinking about Maid Marian again. I can't help it. I love her, Johnny.
Little John : Look, why don't you stop moonin' and mopin' around? - Just - Just marry the girl.
Robin Hood : Marry her? You don't just walk up to a girl, hand her a bouquet and say, "Hey, remember me? We were kids together. Will you marry me?" No. It just isn't done that way.
Little John : Aw, come on, Robbie. Climb the castle walls. Sweep her off her feet. Carry her off in style.
Robin Hood : It's no use, Johnny. I've thought it all out, and... it just wouldn't work. Besides, what have I got to offer her?
Little John : Well, for one thing, you can't cook.
Robin Hood : I'm serious, Johnny. She's a highborn lady of quality.
Little John : So she's got class? So what?
Robin Hood : I'm an outlaw, that's what. That's no life for a lovely lady. Always on the run. What kind of a future is that?
Friar Tuck : Oh, for heaven's sake, son. You're no outlaw. Why, someday you'll be called a great hero.
Robin Hood : A hero? Do you hear that, Johnny? We've just been pardoned.
Little John : That's a gas. We ain't even been arrested yet.
Little John : [as Sir Reginald] Ah, milord, the esteemed royal sovereign of the realm. The head man himself. You're beautiful.
Prince John : Such savoir faire eclat elan, Hiss.
Little John : You took the words right out of my mouth, P.J.
Prince John : [Absolutely delighted] P.J.! I like that, do you know I do! Hiss, put it on my luggage.
Friar Tuck : Alright, laugh, you two rouges, but there's gonna be a big to-do in Nottingham.
[tastes the stew and coughs]
Friar Tuck : Well done, ain't it? Old Prince John's having a championship archery tournament tomorrow.
Little John : Archery tournament? Huh! Old Rob could win that standing on his head. Huh, Rob?
Robin Hood : Thank you, Little John, but I'm sure we're not invited.
Friar Tuck : No, but there's somebody who will be very dissapointed if you don't come.
Little John : Yeah, ol' Bushel Britches, the Honorable Sheriff of Nottingham.
Friar Tuck : No, Maid Marian.
Robin Hood : Maid Marian?
Friar Tuck : Yeah. She's gonna give a kiss to the winner.
Robin Hood : A kiss to the winner? Oodelaly! Come on, Johnny! What are we waiting for?
Friar Tuck : Wait a minute, Rob. Hold it. That place will be crawling with soldiers.
Robin Hood : Ah, but remember faint hearts never won fair lady. Fear not, my friends.
[he shoots an arrow, it ricochets off a washing tub; Robin then throws his hat in the air, where it is ran through by the arrow and lands back on his head]
Robin Hood : This will be my greatest performance.
Prince John : Stop! Executioner, stop! Hold your axe!
Little John : [threatening him with a dagger] Okay, big shot, now tell him to untie my buddy, or I'll.
Prince John : Sheriff, release my buddy! I mean, release the prisoner!
Sheriff of Nottingham : Untie the prisoner?
Clucky : You heard what he said, bushel britches!
Prince John : Sheriff, I make the rules! And since I'm head man.
[to Little John]
Prince John : Not so hard, you mean thing.
[back to the Sheriff]
Prince John : Let him go, for heaven sakes! Let him go!
Little John : The prince? Wait a minute. There's a law against robbing royalty. I'll catch you later.
Robin Hood : [sees Maid Marian] There she is, Little John. Isn't she beautiful?
Little John : Cool it, loverboy! You're heart's running away with your head!
Robin Hood : Ah, stop worrying. This disguise will fool my own mother.
Little John : Yeah, but your mom ain't here. You gotta fool ol' Bushel Britches.
Little John : I am Sir Reginald, Duke of Chutney. And don't stick your tongue out at me, kid.
Little John : [singing] All the world will sing of an English king a thousand years from now / And not because he's passed some law or had that lofty brow / While bonnie good King Richard leads the Great Crusade he's on / We'll all have to slave away for good for nothing, John / Incredible as he is inept / Whenever the history books are kept, they'll call him the Phony King of England.
Friar Tuck : [singing] A pox on the Phony King of England.
Little John : Hey! Who's drivin' this flyin' umbrella?
Little John : You know something, Robin? You're taking too many chances.
Robin Hood : Chances? You must be joking! That was just a bit of a lark, Little John.
Little John : Oh, yeah? Take a look at your hat. That's not a candle on a cake.
Robin Hood : [regarding the arrow in his hat] Hello! This one almost had my name on it, didn't it? They're getting better, you know. You've got to admit it! They are getting better.
Little John : Yeah, the next thing you know, that sheriff will probably have a rope around our necks!
[gags as he chokes himself]
Little John : Pretty hard to laugh hanging there, Rob!
Robin Hood : The sheriff and his whole posse couldn't lift you off the ground.
Sheriff of Nottingham : [Little John is secretly holding a dagger on Prince John and demanding Robin Hood's release] There's something funny going on around here.
Little John : [whispering] Now, P.J. tell my pal to kiss Maid Marian, or I've just found a new pincushion.
[the Sheriff goes behind the throne and sees Little John]
Sheriff of Nottingham : Why, you!
[tries to hit Little John with his sword, but misses. Little John lets go of Prince John and hits the Sheriff back]
Prince John : [shouts] Kill him! Don't stand there, kill him!
Little John : Ooh, what a main event this is! What a beautiful brawl!