Robin Hood (1973)
Andy Devine: Friar Tuck - A Badger
Friar Tuck : [the sheriff has just taken the last farthing out of the church's poor box] Now, just a minute, Sheriff! That's the poor box!
Sheriff of Nottingham : It sure is, and I think I'll take it to poor Prince John. Every little bit helps.
Mother Church Mouse : Ooh! You put that back!
Sheriff of Nottingham : And the good Lord blesses you, little sister.
Friar Tuck : [shouts furiously] You thieving scoundrel!
Sheriff of Nottingham : Now, take it easy, Friar, I'm just doing my duty.
Friar Tuck : Collecting taxes for that arrogant, greedy, ruthless, no-good Prince John?
Sheriff of Nottingham : Listen, Friar, you're mighty preachy and you're gonna preach your neck right into a hangman's noose!
Friar Tuck : [screams] Get out of my church! Out! Out! Out! Out!
[pushes the Sheriff out into the rain]
Friar Tuck : You want taxes? I'll give you taxes!
[begins assaulting the Sheriff]
Father Saxton : Give it to him! Give it to him! Give it to him, Friar!
Little John : You're burning the chow!
Robin Hood : Sorry, Johnny. Guess I was thinking about Maid Marian again. I can't help it. I love her, Johnny.
Little John : Look, why don't you stop moonin' and mopin' around? - Just - Just marry the girl.
Robin Hood : Marry her? You don't just walk up to a girl, hand her a bouquet and say, "Hey, remember me? We were kids together. Will you marry me?" No. It just isn't done that way.
Little John : Aw, come on, Robbie. Climb the castle walls. Sweep her off her feet. Carry her off in style.
Robin Hood : It's no use, Johnny. I've thought it all out, and... it just wouldn't work. Besides, what have I got to offer her?
Little John : Well, for one thing, you can't cook.
Robin Hood : I'm serious, Johnny. She's a highborn lady of quality.
Little John : So she's got class? So what?
Robin Hood : I'm an outlaw, that's what. That's no life for a lovely lady. Always on the run. What kind of a future is that?
Friar Tuck : Oh, for heaven's sake, son. You're no outlaw. Why, someday you'll be called a great hero.
Robin Hood : A hero? Do you hear that, Johnny? We've just been pardoned.
Little John : That's a gas. We ain't even been arrested yet.
Friar Tuck : Alright, laugh, you two rouges, but there's gonna be a big to-do in Nottingham.
[tastes the stew and coughs]
Friar Tuck : Well done, ain't it? Old Prince John's having a championship archery tournament tomorrow.
Little John : Archery tournament? Huh! Old Rob could win that standing on his head. Huh, Rob?
Robin Hood : Thank you, Little John, but I'm sure we're not invited.
Friar Tuck : No, but there's somebody who will be very dissapointed if you don't come.
Little John : Yeah, ol' Bushel Britches, the Honorable Sheriff of Nottingham.
Friar Tuck : No, Maid Marian.
Robin Hood : Maid Marian?
Friar Tuck : Yeah. She's gonna give a kiss to the winner.
Robin Hood : A kiss to the winner? Oodelaly! Come on, Johnny! What are we waiting for?
Friar Tuck : Wait a minute, Rob. Hold it. That place will be crawling with soldiers.
Robin Hood : Ah, but remember faint hearts never won fair lady. Fear not, my friends.
[he shoots an arrow, it ricochets off a washing tub; Robin then throws his hat in the air, where it is ran through by the arrow and lands back on his head]
Robin Hood : This will be my greatest performance.
Little John : [singing] All the world will sing of an English king a thousand years from now / And not because he's passed some law or had that lofty brow / While bonnie good King Richard leads the Great Crusade he's on / We'll all have to slave away for good for nothing, John / Incredible as he is inept / Whenever the history books are kept, they'll call him the Phony King of England.
Friar Tuck : [singing] A pox on the Phony King of England.
Friar Tuck : Praise the Lord, and pass the tax rebate!
Sheriff of Nottingham : Well, greetings from your friendly neighborhood tax collector.
Otto : Oh, take it easy on me, Sheriff. What with this busted leg and all, I'm way behind on my work, Sheriff.
Sheriff of Nottingham : I know, Otto, but you're way behind on your taxes too.
Friar Tuck : Oh, have a heart, Sheriff. Can't you see he's laid up?
Mother Church Mouse : Friar Tuck, we've saved this. It's not much, but please take it for the poor.
Friar Tuck : Your last farthing? Oh, Little Sister, no one can give more than that!
[deposits farthing into the poor box]
Friar Tuck : Bless you both!
Father Saxton : Oh, we were just saving it for a rainy day.
Friar Tuck : Well, it's raining now! Things can't get worse!