Captain Apache

this western is so bad that it sends it into the realms of an awesome cult classic. the best scene is when lee van cleef gets captured by the bad guys. he's held in a cave, where bizarrely he ends up doing magic mushrooms and beats the bad guys up, around a campfire, to psychedelic imagery. it also has lee van cleef singing the main vocal track for the theme tune. this alone makes it intriguing viewing for any movie fan.

After an Indian commissioner is found murdered in the Arizona territory a cavalry officer by the name of "Captain Apache" (Lee Van Cleef) is ordered to investigate. And in the course of his investigation he discovers that the last words uttered by the victim was "April morning". Somewhat puzzled he asks certain key people in the closest town what it means but he soon finds out that because he is half-Indian they want nothing to do with him. Not only that but there are a couple of people who have become unusually interested in these two words as well and they are determined to find out what it means at all costs. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that, although this was an usual role for Lee Van Cleef, he seemed well-suited for it. He also sang two songs in the movie but neither were sufficient for him to consider giving up his acting career over. In any case, while certainly not a great western by any means, I found it to be worth the time spent and I have rated it accordingly. Average.

Spanish production from director Alexander Singer, an inferior descendant of the spaghetti western taken from S.E. Whitman's book, has Apache Indian Lee Van Cleef, an Army Captain in the Old West, butting heads with a shifty-eyed land baron (Stuart Whitman) who is predictably up to no good. Cheaply-made, and with laughable dubbing, though with a great deal of eccentric characters and intentionally-funny dialogue. Odd to see method player Carroll Baker in these dusty surroundings, but she's very energetic. Fans of Sergio Leone's vastly smoother and more slick genre epics will nevertheless find a decent movie companion here. ** from ****

"Ah aha aha ahaaaa - they call him Captain Apache".

"Well any film that provides you with an opportunity to hear Lee Van Cleef singing not just once, but twice has got to be worth a viewing" I thought to myself. "I'm sure it can't be as bad as I've been told". Well in truth it IS that bad. But it doesn't make it unwatchable! Lee Van Cleef plays an Apache Captain within the Army that is sent to investigate the murder of a Commissioner, and discover the meaning of the dying man's last words "April Morning".

It plays like a murder mystery in a western setting, with numerous characters introduced throughout that appear to have heard the phrase "April Morning", but are either attempting to solve the riddle themselves, or are shot before they can speak. These include gunrunner Griffin (Stuart Whitman), the blonde temptress Maude (Caroll Baker) and the equally teasing Rosita (Elisa Montes). And from a plot perspective, that is pretty much it (well, without solving the mystery that is!). Yes, it sounds very simple, but in actual fact the story is quite convoluted.

The soundtrack is hysterical - the title track in particular being so bad that you just love it - with Lee Van Cleef narrating to a tune so catchy that it would put professional purveyors of pop to shame! And you still get his rendition "April Morning" at the end of the film to look forward to.

Whilst it is quite poor Spaghetti Western fare, and a perfect example of the deterioration of the genre during the seventies, it does have three main factors that make it quite watchable :

1 - Lee Van Cleef himself - although this is a real LVC by numbers effort, the man has a screen presence that can rescue even the worst of films.

2 - The afore-mentioned theme tune.

3 - Caroll Baker and Elisa Montes (thats just the male hormones working! And anyway ladies, you get the bonus of a near naked Lee Van Cleef, so no accusing me of gawping!).

Aside from this, there are some really good moments (Captain Apache insulting the two twins, the death of the Mexican General (played by Jose Bodalo) and a handful of other scenes that I chuckled at at the time but have since left my mind). At times the editing between scenes was quite poor (at one point jumping from Captain Apache in bed with Maude, to them discovering the hanging body of the key witness). Well hung!

Don't let me put you off watching it, because it is an example of a film being so bad its good. I would never have imagined however that Lee Van Cleef crooning would be the highlight of a film!

Produced by America and Spain, this stars Lee Van Cleef as a Union Army... Apache Captain (!) He's out to discover the meaning behind "April Morning" , a dying agent's last words. With very few leads, he starts a tense alliance with a corrupt gun-runner named Griffin (Stuart Whitman), but finds he'll have to work quicker if he's to find out information as his contacts have a rather annoying habit of dying - and just before they tell him as well. The film also stars Carroll Baker (Giant, The Big Country) and Percy Herbert, a bit-part Brit-actor who featured in "Mutiny on the Bounty" (1962) and a couple of "Carry On..." films.

The action scenes here work well, and the humour (mostly intentional) is fairly amusing. Many of the scenes are filled with tension - and the mystery of April Morning is played out well enough to sustain interest and keep you gripped right 'till the end. The music is hardly in the traditional style most westerns follow, although saying that the soundtrack is fine as it includes the novelty of hearing Van Cleef sing "Captain Apache" and "April Morning" with whom, if the lyrics are to be believed, he apparently has a date.

I found this film really enjoyable and very entertaining. After viewing it, I can't get the title song out of my head, although that's most likely a negative point. With the right amount of action and suspense, and a dollop of good humour, this is a movie for little boys of all ages. Recommended.