The Grasshopper (1970) Poster


Christine Adams: It's very simple what I want to be: totally happy; totally different; and totally in love.

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Christine Adams: Eddie's really something special. Now he works at a bank for his uncle in Los Angeles. He's going to be so surprised to see me. We're going to have a baby right away!

Driver giving her a lift: Oh, so you're going to get married then?

Christine Adams: No, we're just going to live together

[the driver crosses himself and touches a religious figurine on the dashboard]

Christine Adams: .

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Christine Adams: So you do remember me?

Jack Benton: Sure I remember you - from the party. Who can forget Danny's dates? He makes sure everybody sees, when he has a winner. But I don't remember offering you a job.

Christine Adams: Well, you said you were always replacing girls.

Jack Benton: Yeah, we got openings. But er... you ever been on a stage?

Christine Adams: Oh, yes. I did "Little Women", in school.

Jack Benton: [looks skeptical] Nude?

Christine Adams: What did you say?

Jack Benton: Did you do it nude? Naked?

[she doesn't reply]

Jack Benton: .Forget it.

Jack Benton: Look, Honey, you're really not built right.

Christine Adams: Well was I built better at the party?

Jack Benton: [to the barber cutting his hair] She's got a mouth, Arnold. No, but at parties I come on with every girl.

Christine Adams: Mr. Benton, I just want to earn some money. When I've done that, I'll go back to L.A. and maybe I'll get my teaching degree.

Jack Benton: Good idea.

Christine Adams: But I want to try this for a while. I mean, I've seen the shows. It doesn't look too hard.

Jack Benton: Baby, you're right - it doesn't take much talent. But you have to be built a certain way.

Christine Adams: You keep saying that. What do you mean?

Jack Benton: I mean showgirls gotta have gigantic tickets.

Christine Adams: Tickets?

Jack Benton: Yeah gigantic tickets

[he illustrates by billowing out the towel covering his upper torso]

Christine Adams: Are you trying to tell me my breasts aren't big enough?

Jack Benton: Hey, they're fine with me. I mean, I'm an... an aesthetic guy. But these morons from out of town, they come into Vegas, they want to see freaks.

Christine Adams: Well, in my home town, I was considered one of the over-developed girls.

Jack Benton: In your home town, Arnold would be built!

Christine Adams: If they want me grotesque, they can always pad my costume.

Jack Benton: What costume? You know those girls wear nothing but smiles and little paste-ies. How you gonna pad a pastey? Lots of things you can fake - dancing, cocktail waitress, nobody notices, nobody cares. But when it comes to tickets, there is no faking. Every man is an expert.

Christine Adams: There's nothing wrong with my tickets

[she undoes her blouse and exposes herself; Arnold drops his comb and scissors]

Christine Adams: .

Jack Benton: [after a pause] How'd you like to go to dinner tonight?

Christine Adams: I'd rather have a job.

Jack Benton: Gotta a lot of spunk.

Jack Benton: Arnold, get up here. Would you pay twelve-fifty minimum to look at those?

[Arnold nods and smiles]

Christine Adams: Thank you, Arnold.

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