A young man, armed with a magical bow and arrows, embarks on a mystical journey through a mystical land to rid it of all evil and joins forces with an outlaw to take down an evil witch bent on claiming the magic bow for evil.
Conrado San Martín
I haven't seen this film in awhile, but remember it pretty vividly. The film was obviously shot on a really low budget and without any real actors. It has a kind of "Manos" feel to it, but with nudity and even worse special effects. There are bats that are obviously on wires and some pretty cheesy costumes. The guy doing Dracula's voice sounds like an old Jewish man (I don't know where the hell they got the idea to make Dracula Jewish, considering he was Transylvanian). The only thing that I liked about this movie is that it didn't take itself seriously at all.
Count Dracula is living in an abandoned mine in the middle of nowhere. He invites a local reporter to visit him (he goes under the pseudonym of Alucard, hee hee hee, like nobody's ever heard that before). When the inept reporter gets there, Dracula turns him into a pretty crappy looking wolf man, named Irving Jackelmann (enough with the Jewish jokes already). Dracula then sends him out to catch beautiful girls for him to tie up, love up and drain dry. Dracula takes a hankering for the reporter's girl friend and ends up chasing her around his cave.
The opening ten minutes have some really awful stream of consciousness speech by the reporter involving the blue mountains, behind the blue mountains, behind the blue mountains (we get it already). Dracula's accent is just plain annoying. Irving Jackelmann also proves to be pretty bad. The chase scene, for the love of God, was only a nude woman running around the same set for an excruciatingly long time. The nudity can't save it and the jokes, although trying hard to be campy, are just plain dumb.
Avoid unless you can spare a few brain cells.
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