Space Thing (1968) Poster

(1968)

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3/10
Say sleaze!
lost-in-limbo1 January 2006
Warning: Spoilers
It's the year 2069; Col. Granilla is a Planetarian, an alien in human disguise so that he can infiltrate the space ship of Captain Mother, whose crew is basically made up of females that like to strut around in little clothing. These Terranians really confuse and disgust him in the way they perform their intimate ways, as most of the girls have really got it for Granilla and the feisty lesbian Captain Mother doesn't like the idea of her girls getting it on with men. So he becomes caught up in a tussle between Captain Mother, a couple girls and one of the two men who's incredibly jealous of his intentions. But there's more a greater purpose for him being on the ship and that's to stop them reaching his planet.

Oh boy this should be a true stinker, just look at the film's outline. True I didn't know what I was getting myself into, but this inter-galactic, exploitation z-grade production has some sort of trashy appeal to it, because you won't see anything quite like it. That appeal would be in the slightest of doses, though. This surely would've been rated one of the worst films of all time if not for its exploitative context which is why it probably went by unnoticed. It's bad, real bad but entertaining in certain aspects of this awfulness and amateur set-up. On this occasion I would say its one of those times when the commentary on the DVD outdoes the actual feature. The producer David F Friedman spends the beginning talking up how bad it is and I tend to agree with him when he claims that 'Plan 9 from Outer space' has a new contender, and it really makes Plan 9 look like an epic, yep that's true. I'm not exaggerating! What we get here is buckets of female nudity and soft-core sexual acts. There's definitely no innuendo going one here!

To begin with is a drawn out prologue involving man reading Sci-fi stories while his wife is complaining about that's all he does and she's sexually depraved. Well, not too long we get our first sexual play and then it moves into its nude space story that he might be dreaming about. It's either focusing on its cheap looking sets or that of the woman who are basically in little clothing, if none at times. Oh that might be great, but hell at times it got a bit tedious with the same old shots and actions occurring. Really, there's little if no plot but to stage one sexually passionate act and some ladies walking and lazing about in the nude after another. They seem to find an opportunity to just shove it in the film. Although don't expect it to be rather erotic, because it doesn't really have that effect. But who's to complain when the woman involved in this skin flick are rather ravishing to say the least. That especially goes to the busty Captain Mother who loves her lesbian action and (tamely) sadistic pleasure. Also were given a tongue in cheek narration, which flows throughout the feature and actually will raise a chuckle if you let it. I thought this one was of its better things, among the bad. The goofy script is better off, as it plays for a comedy and it does have some moments. The way this comes across as, it's like a parody on people having sex for the first time. Well, more so a parody on sex and love education for aliens. But the actual plot is nothing but little set pieces, which are set-up to prolong the running time, that's why some do come across rather repetitive and tedious. Really nothing does come off together. Well, it's mentioned on the commentary that they had a time limit to reach and with no real story, it was always going to be a hard ask to complete.

The budget really shows. Cheap, that's very cheap. That's even if they had one? If I remember correctly the producer said on the commentary the budget was something just under $40. Yeah, I can believe that! As technically the shaky foundation is household items, with cardboard and model sets. Some props are just laughably bad that it looks all primitive with toys and conjured up items hanging by strings. The imagination truly blew me away… I wish. The only thing that had an ounce of freshness might have been how they staged the opening credits. But everything else is just plain horrifyingly inane from the soundtrack that's all over shop that it resembles that of cheesy elevator music to the disjointed and weirdly style of editing and the very intrusive camera-work that didn't venture away from its few and usual frames and angles. The constant heavy breathing during moments involving the characters getting it on had me questioning was that on camera or behind it? Both I say. The effects (maybe that's a overstatement?) are another story, as the explosion to end the story off seem to be out of time by already being on fire before exploding. It's a whopper! Also that spaceship, called the erection was a dish… I think (?) and sometimes seamlessly it didn't fit the size ratio that it's supposed be when on screen. There's even a moment involving a person going out to see if a planet is safe enough for them to leave their spaceship, but when he leaves the ship by it's door, there's no airlock. Therefore, possibly releasing dangerous gases into ship. Oh heck, forget about this as it was the limitations that caused this trash, but lovable trash… to some agrees;) Maybe I spent too much time on this, so I'll wrap it up.

Nude in space with gallons of tempting female flesh and campy dialogue, that's about it. Nothing more and nothing less.
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3/10
Hmmm, should I read my sci fi book, or make love to my gal? Decisions, decisions.
galvestonsteve28 June 2023
This is a leisurely directed low budget little film. The first ersatz sleaze scene was pretty good, and I enjoyed the "acting". The gal was snuggled up in bed w/ her man beside her, which was a distraction from the lame script. I loved her fake eyelashes, which were her only attire. They looked just like the ones Devine had in Pink Flamingos, a much more mondo-trash film than this one. Actually, Pink Flamingos is trashier than ANY film in the known universe.

Unfortunately, the movie kinda went downhill after the first scene, which is not an easy thing to do when you start at the bottom.

I watched this on my laptop, and It was probably an improved experience because the sound was way out of sync. Or maybe the director thought it would add a nice Art-House touch? The 98 cent special effect department had a Star Trek Enterprise model zooming around in near darkness on a string, which made for a nice homey touch, and there was a smaller spaceship that appeared to have been purchased from parts in Ace Hardware's lighting & electrical dept. Very well done too, but alas, no string.

After a short interlude, we were treated to some groovy 60's type colors on the furniture and tables. These were usually obscured by naked women though. Just be thankful that the middle aged guys weren't equally unclad.

This is a hard movie to rate because it is too mild to be called a sex exploitation film. Its more like one of those very boring nudist films that we used to get now and then on the late, late, late night TV. There was nothing titillating about it, since it was presented in such a deadpan manner complete w/ elevator music in the background.

I give it three stars because it would be a good film to watch late at night if you have trouble sleeping and your sci fi magazines don't help.
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Sort of like Flesh Gordon, just not as good
whamontree18 September 2000
Much like Flesh Gordon, Space Thing is a porno movie from the days when they actually tried to be movies. It centers around an alien who takes human form to learn the ways of lovemaking. The women are refreshingly real looking but the guys ought to have worked out some more. If whip wielding sadist lesbians are your cup of tea, you can't go wrong with Space Thing.
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1/10
Super Super Bad
dddasher46197 September 2017
This movie makes Ed Woods Plan 9 From Outer Space look like an Academy Award winner. The set looks like common household items such as an extending aluminum as a stair case, kitchen chairs that look like upturned garbage cans. This is one of those movies that are not even so bad their good.
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2/10
Low budget AND immoral values
SnoopyDogDog12 December 2022
Warning: Spoilers
"Space Thing" is bad, very bad and not so bad it's good. It's just bad, starting with the fully unimaginative title. This was the Golden Age of written scifi, but of course the first sci-fi movies were invariably made by those who knew nothing about it.

Okay, how is this more bad? Wellm the set up has no link to the rest of the movie: A man reads about the Many-Worlds or Many-Universe theory, aka the Multiverse for short, but then he DREAMS he's an alien? That's a wrong use of the Multiverse Theory, which is about subtle variations which lead to big differences and outcomes, like, what if Jesus got killed at birth, or Napoleon, or Djenghis Khan. Or what if the Native Americans colonized Europe.

Just looking at the episode in space on it's own: Of course the production values are atrocious, the budget was under 30K? But they seem especially bad, the crew sits on glorified BAR STOOLS, the special effects featuring space ships all show them wobbly on their strings, they are the worst ever. Asteroids are cotton balls, but clearly so. The costumes are equally bad, the men wear standard issue medieval shiny things, and the women some sort of bathing suits, which leaves NOTHING to the imagination, a leeeettle subtlety would have been nice.

When one the men goes out explore the "asteroid" they landed on, he wears a fully closed space suit, but he talks to the ship via a walkie talkie ..... OUTSIDE his space suit!?? Just gluing on the antenna onto the helmet would have been an easy and cheap fix, which would have save the scene from ridicule.

And subsequently the women go outside in .... beach wear, so no space suit, without anyone saying "the atmosphere is non-toxic, there's breathable air here"??

The sex scenes are not very appealing, the women are half decent, especially Merci Montello, but the men are all ugly, hairy and fat, they have pot bellies. It's where the movie is at it's most immoral because they are very gender unequal: the women all undress fully, but the men never ever drop their pants, so the love scenes are always with nekkid women and half or fully dressed men.

Also, the alien comes to the ship and immediately views the crew through a repressed Midwestern-values lens? In the end, he can't deal with all the sex, so he blows the ship up.

It also promotes a rapist trope, the captain starts out as a proud lesbian, eager to claim that men are both evil AND terrible lovers, but at the end, just a few slimy remarks of the male alien about how pretty she is, are enough to get her in his bed? WHAT!?!?

This suggests the myth which non-gay en told themselves in that era: the only thing a good man needs to "cure" lesbianism is flattery. Or whatever.

The gender inequality is further underlined by how the actresses all had to be bare footed in the outdoor scenes in the desert, while the men all wore shoes. Was this some sort of a "we can run faster, while the women can't" thing? Perhaps. But it shows that the women in 1968 had no power, no say in how to do their jobs whatsoever.

The only redeeming thing this movie has is that it has a scene where 3 women play 3 dimensional checkers. And how they did the credits, which is exploitative but also creative and a bit fun.

2 oth 10 (added 1 for 3D checkers) The Melancholic Alcoholic.
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Sexploitation "Classic"
Michael_Elliott14 March 2016
Space Thing (1968)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Corny, low-budget sexploitation film from producer David Friedman has nerdy husband James Granilla (Steve Vincent) too caught up in his sci-fi comics to pay much attention to his beautiful and horny wife. Later in the film, a look-a-like of the same character (and same actor), but now an alien, takes human form and enters a spaceship where there are plenty of beautiful women.

SPACE THING is one of the best known sexploitation films out there but I honestly don't see why. I guess the science fiction might bring a few people to the film who wouldn't normally watch these softcore films but there's very little here in regards to entertainment. The film was obviously shot on a shoestring budget but this adds some campy charm and especially with the ultra cheap sets. The film also manages to load up on the beautiful women and as you'd expect there's non-stop nudity from start to end.

I really wouldn't be shocked if this thing had a lower budget than PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE or ROBOT MONSTER. Those two films were so bad yet they're entertaining and rather charming. I can't say the same thing about SPACE THING because it's just too slow for its own good.
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REJECTED!!!!!!
emm27 October 1998
If sex movies are your thing, then this is definitely for you! This is the rarest thing you'll ever come across, with a blend of science fiction and very attractive space girls, not to mention the silliest looking sets in movie history. So why am I canning a nice little sex show like SPACE THING? Let's face it, even after 30 years, it's still not regarded as wholesome valuable entertainment, and just like those expensive shot-on-video productions designed to drain away your apartment funds, it's a dramatic waste of your time and money! A little spice and cheesecake is alright, but too much sauce goes an awful long way! Leave this and other sexual garbage movies alone!!!
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