- Superintendent: So this is the famous ring?
- Ringo: I'm in fear of me life, you know!
- Superintendent: And these are the famous Beatles?
- John: So this is the famous Scotland Yard, eh?
- Superintendent: And how long do you think you'll last?
- John: Can't say fairer than that. The Great Train Robbery, eh? How's that going?
- Superintendent: Allow me. I'm a bit of a famous mimic in my own small way, you know James Cagney.
- [imitating Ringo on the phone]
- Superintendent: Hello, there, this is the famous Ringo here, gear fab. What is it that I can do for you, as it were, gear fab?
- George: Not a bit like Cagney.
- Narrator: End of Part One. Intermission.
- [short clip of the Beatles frolicking in a meadow]
- Narrator: End of Intermission. Part Two.
- [cut to a nurse bathing Ahme's sister]
- Woman washing paint off sacrificial victim: Where you been, eh? You been up at that temple again, ain't ya? You're as bad as your sister, coming home from work all hours and all colors.
- Narrator: End of Part Two. Part Three: Later That Evening.
- Cameo: Boys, are you buzzing?
- John: No thanks, I've got the car!
- Cameo: No no no, listen. I'll have to play it back. You'll have to do it again!
- [He plays the recording back so they can hear the buzzing sound]
- John: Is that you?
- Paul: No.
- George: Well don't look at me.
- [Ringo and his drums crash through the sawn-through floor to the room below]
- John: That was you buzzing! You naughty boy!
- [Ringo is trapped in a cellar with a tiger]
- Superintendent: Good lord, it's Rajah, the famous Bengal man-eater who escaped from the London Zoo this morning.
- John: Good Lord! So it famous is!
- Superintendent: Oh, don't worry, he's absolutely harmless. All you have to do is sing Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" from the famous Ninth Symphony in D minor.
- John: Of course! Why didn't you think of that you twit!
- George: [referring to a drill coming through a painting] What's that?
- Austrian Waiter: What's what?
- George: That little whirly thing coming out of his stomach.
- Austrian Waiter: I can't look!
- [a hose comes through the whole the drill made]
- John: It's only a hose.
- [the waiter faints as the Beatles investigate the hose]
- Paul: [listens into the hose then hands it to John] It's for you.
- John: Who is it?
- Paul: The gardener.
- Channel Swimmer: [after emerging from a hole in the snow made by Foot's bomb] Excuse me... White Cliffs of Dover?
- [after a while, John points to the east]
- Channel Swimmer: Thank you.
- [John politely smiles and nods. The swimmer continues his swim]
- Superintendent: Oh come on now lads, don't be windy, where's that famous pluck?
- John: I haven't got any, have you George?
- George: Did have.
- Paul: I have had.
- Ringo: I will have! Lead on!
- [Offering gold to Paul]
- Clang: Hey, Be-a-tle! How about this, eh? Shufty gold! All of it pure gold in easy-to-handle denominational nuggets. Not marked, not a mark on 'em, eh?
- Paul: No, I hate them.
- Ahme: No!
- Paul: I I do! I mean, they make your fingers go green.
- Ahme: It is not the Beatle with the ring, he.
- Paul: Aren't I?
- Ahme: No unfortunately!
- [laughs as Paul gives her a dirty look]
- John: [George has just passed out from seeing the size of Ahme's hypodermic needle] Now see what you've done with your filthy Eastern ways!
- Ahme: No! It is Clang, the high priest, who is filthy in his Eastern ways.
- John: How do we know you're not just as filthy, and sent by him to nick the ring by being filthy when you've lulled us with your filthy Eastern ways?
- Paul: What filthy ways are these?
- Superintendent: [cowering under his desk] There's a strong case for arming the police. We aren't all masochists, you know.
- [John and Paul are trying to get Ringo to cut his finger off]
- Paul: Well, you didn't miss your tonsils, do yer?
- [In disguise at the airport. Newspapers have discovered their destination]
- Ringo: Okay, who let it out?
- John: Nobody'll know!
- Paul: We're not going there.
- John: We just put it 'round we're going there.
- Paul: We're not going there!
- John: We just put it 'round we're going there!
- George: Just so everybody'd think we were going there.
- Ringo: I'd like to go there.
- John: You wouldn't like it.
- Ringo: Where are we going, then?
- John: Never you mind.
- Ringo: [to Clang after he has taken off the ring and put it on Clang] Get sacrificed! I don't subscribe to your religion!