Eye Creatures land on earth. The U.S. Air Force spies on some teens making out in the woods, then tries to prevent word of the Eye Creatures landing from leaking out. A couple of teens figure everything out and prevent the Eye Creatures from taking over by shining their headlights on them...Written by
Dan Bleskan <firstname.lastname@example.org>
A small group of lumpy, oozy guys in rubber costumes land on Earth and proceed to just kind of hang out in the woods for a while. The military knows they've landed, and they've got their spaceship surrounded. Too bad there's no one inside of it. The teeners know what's going on too, but no one believes them because they're just kids! When a greasy drifter winds up dead at the hands of an Eye Creature, local clean cut and slightly bad boy Stan Kenton is blamed for it. But he, the drifters roommate, Stan's girlfriend Susan and her tower of hair all know the truth - it was ALIENS!!! And they're determined to vanquish the slimy enemies themselves!
This remake of "Invasion of the Saucer Men" is not only cheesy, greasy and depressing, it was also totally unnecessary, since little about the plot or even the script was altered. There's also the small fact that "Invasion of the Saucer Men" wasn't any great shakes either, so why bother remaking it to begin with? No one in this putrid mess can act, except for the guy who plays Stan and believe me, he cannot save this movie. There's so much to loathe in this film - Susan's gravity defying hair, the roommate and his striped sweater dress, the old guy with the shotgun and the horrible backwoods jargon, the incredibly foul and sweaty soldiers who spend the entire movie watching other people make out. The very film that this movie is printed on seems soaked in sweat and other less savory fluids. It's a bit like watching a cheaply made porno without any sex to make it interesting or entertaining.
Oh, and don't forget the Eye Creatures themselves, whose running shoes and turtleneck sweaters can be spotted quite easily. They instill no sense of terror as they lumber about, vomiting up blackberry jam and exploding into puffs of smoke whenever a light is shined upon them. These guys look like Styrofoam packing material come to life...a lethargic, pointless life to be sure, but life nonetheless.
The MST3K version of this film is great. The film itself sucks. The director is clearly a sadistic misanthrope who hates his audience. You have been warned.
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