Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964 TV Movie)
[Rudolph, Yukon, and Hermey are traveling through thick fog]
Yukon Cornelius: This fog's as thick as peanut butter!
Hermey: You mean pea soup.
Yukon Cornelius: You eat what you like, and I'll eat what I like!
Mrs. Claus: Eat, Papa, eat.
Santa Claus: How can I eat? That silly elf song is driving me crazy.
Mrs. Claus: You're going to disappoint the children. They expect a fat Santa.
Yukon Cornelius: [to his sled dogs as they watch Santa's sleigh depart for the Island of Misfit Toys] Now, you see how it's done? Wahooooo!
[tosses his pick-axe into the air, picks it up after it falls, and licks it]
Yukon Cornelius: Peppermint! What I've been searching for all my life! I've struck it rich! I've got me a peppermint mine! Wahooooo!
Rudolph: Hey, Clarice? After practice, would you... would you...
Comet the Coach: Rudolph! You get back here! It's your turn, you know!
Rudolph: Gee, I gotta go back!
[starts to run off but then runs back]
Rudolph: Would you walk home with me?
Clarice: Uh-huh. Rudolph? I think you're cute.
Rudolph: [jumping around, on first flight] I'm cute! I'm cuuuuuuuute!
Rudolph: What do you want?
Clarice: You - You promised to walk me home.
Rudolph: Aren't you going to laugh at my nose, too?
Clarice: I think it's a handsome nose. Much better than that silly false one you were wearing.
Rudolph: It's terrible... and it's different from everybody else's!
Clarice: But that's what makes it so grand. Why, any doe would consider herself lucky to be with you.
Rudolph: Yeah? But I wasn't very lucky today, was I?
Donner: [holding up Rudolph's new nose for him to try on] All right, son, try it on.
Rudolph: I don't wanna. Daddy, I don't like it.
Donner: You'll like it and wear it!
Rudolph: Aw, but Daddy...
[Donner slips the new nose over Rudolph's shiny one]
Rudolph: It's not very comfortable!
Donner: There are more important things than comfort: self respect! Santa can't object to you now.
Head Elf: Hermey! Aren't you finished painting that yet? There's a pile-up a mile wide behind you! What's eatin' ya, boy?
Hermey: Not happy with my work, I guess.
Head Elf: What?
Hermey: [sadly] I just don't like to make toys.
Head Elf: Oh, well, if that's all... What? You don't like to make toys?
Hermey: [sadly again] Nnno.
Head Elf: [to the other elves] Hermey doesn't like to make toys!
Elves: [whispering to each other, then chorusing to Hermey] Hermey doesn't like to make toys. Shame on him!
Head Elf: Do you mind telling me what you do want to do?
Hermey: Well, sir, someday, I'd like to be a... a dentist.
Head Elf: A - dentist?
Hermey: Well, we need one up here. I've been studying. It's fascinating; you've no idea. Molars and bicuspids and incisors...
Head Elf: [interuppts] Now listen, you: you're an elf, and elves make toys.
[shoving the dentistry book away and shoving the cart that Hermey was painting back to him]
Head Elf: Now, get to work!
Head Elf: Ten minute break!
[Hermey smiles, but then the head elf jumps him]
Head Elf: Not for you! Finish the job, or you're fired!
Rudolph: But - But you fell over the side of the cliff.
Yukon Cornelius: Didn't I ever tell you about Bumbles? Bumbles *bounce*!
Santa Claus: From what I see now, that will cut through the murkiest storm they can dish up. What I'm trying to say is, Rudolph, with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
Rudolph: It would be an honor, sir.
Comet the Coach: [blows his whistle] All right, all right, my yearlings, back to practice.
Comet the Coach: Oh no, not you. You'd better go home with your folks. From now on, gang, we won't let Rudolph join in any reindeer games. Right?
[the others reply with scattered replies of "Right!"]
Sam the Snowman: If I live to be 100, I'll never forget that big snow storm a couple of years ago. The weather closed in and, well you might not believe it, but the world almost missed Christmas. Oh, excuse me, call me Sam. What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a talking snowman before?
Yukon Cornelius: Whoa. Whoaaaaaaaaaaa! Unmush, will ya?
King Moonracer: [to Rudolph] When someday, you return to Christmas Town, would you tell Santa about our homeless toys? I'm sure he will find little boys and girls who will be happy with them. A toy is never truly happy until it is loved by a child.
King Moonracer: Come closer. What do you desire?
Rudolph: Well, we're a couple of misfits from Christmastown, and now we'd like to live here.
King Moonracer: No, that would not be possible. This island is for toys alone.
Yukon Cornelius: How do you like that? Even among misfits you're a misfit.
Yukon Cornelius: [driving his dogsled] Mush! Don't you understand North Pole talk? Mush!
Head Elf: Why weren't you at elf practice?
Hermey: Just fixing these dolls' teeth.
Head Elf: Just fixing...? Now listen: we have dolls that cry, talk, walk, blink and run a temperature. We don't need any chewing dolls!
Hermey: But I just thought I'd find a way to - to fit in.
Head Elf: You'll never fit in! Now you come to elf practice, learn how to wiggle your ears, chuckle warmly, go "Hee-Hee" and "Ho-Ho", and important stuff like that. A dentist! Good grief!
Hermey: Hey, what do you say we both be independent together, huh?
Rudolph: You wouldn't mind my - red nose?
Hermey: Not if you don't mind me being a dentist.
Rudolph: [shaking hands with Hermey] It's a deal.
Clarice: Is something wrong with your nose? I mean, you talk kind of funny.
Rudolph: [about to lose his cool] What's so funny about the way I talk?
Clarice: Well, don't get angry. I don't mind.
Charlie-In-The-Box: I am the official sentry of the Island of Misfit Toys.
Hermey: A jack-in-the-box for a sentry?
Charlie-In-The-Box: Yes. My name is...
Rudolph: Don't tell me: Jack.
Charlie-In-The-Box: No, Charlie. That's why I'm a misfit toy. My name is all wrong. No child wants to play with a Charlie-In-The-Box, so I had to come here.
Hermey: Where's "here"?
Yukon Cornelius: We'll have to outwit the fiend with our superior intelligence.
Yukon Cornelius: Douse your nose and run like crazy!
Yukon Cornelius: You're going to stay with me and we'll all be rich with the biggest silver strike this side of Hudson Bay. Silverrrrrrr!
Hermey: I thought you wanted gold.
Yukon Cornelius: I changed my mind.
Yukon Cornelius: Open up! It isn't a fit night out for man or beast.
[two elves open the doors so Cornelius enters with the Abominable Snowmonster]
Yukon Cornelius: Here's the man...
[Brings in the Abominable Snowmonster on a leash]
Yukon Cornelius: and here's the *beast*!
Mrs. Donner: Well, we'll simply have to overlook it.
Donner: How can you overlook that? His beak blinks like a blinking beacon.
Head Elf: Okay, you can open a dentist office, next week, after Christmas.
Hermey: Come here, open your mouth.
Head Elf: [groaning as he opens his mouth] Ah...
Hermey: Oh, dear! I'd better set an appointment up for you a week from Tuesday, 4:30 sharp!
Mrs. Claus: Papa, you haven't touched a morsel. I'll have to take this suit in. Eat!
Santa Claus: I'm busy, Mama. It's almost Christmas.
Mrs. Claus: Whoever heard of a skinny Santa? Eat. Eat!
Sam the Snowman: Well, for the first year, the Donners did a pretty fair job of hiding Rudolph's uh... nonconformity. Donner taught Rudolph all the ins and outs of being a reindeer: how to get food, how to fight off enemies, things like that. But most important... most important of all, he taught his son to beware of the Abominable Snow Monster of the North. He's mean. He's nasty. And he hates everything to do with Christmas.
Yukon Cornelius: Oh, well, now I'm off to get my life-sustaining supplies: cornmeal and gun powder and hamhocks and guitar strings. I'll give you a lift. Hop aboard, mateys.
Sam the Snowman: Ahh. I love this Christmasy time of year. Especially when everything is running happy and smooth, like it is this season. Nothing like that year of the big snow storms.
Sam the Snowman: Well, as good as everyone feels, this is no time for celebrating, because the next day is Christmas Eve, the biggest day of the year!
Sam the Snowman: Well, time passed slowly. Rudolph existed the best he could. The snow monster kept him on the run, but once in a while, he would stop and make a friend - or two. But it wouldn't last long, and Rudolph would be on his own again. But during all that time, a strange and *wonderful* thing was happening. Rudolph was growing up. And growing up made Rudolph realize you can't run away from your troubles. And pretty soon he knew where he had to go: home.
Sam the Snowman: Now aside from the Abominable. Business goes on as usual. And soon, it is right before Christmas. And everybody's getting ready for that big, big sleigh ride on the night of the 24th, Christmas Eve. See, all the toys Santa brings are made by these elves. These elves have that certain knack for toy making, all except for this... this one misfit.
Sam the Snowman: [during "Silver and Gold"] What's a Christmas tree without tinsel and pretty silver and gold decorations? Can't really call it a Christmas tree now, can you? And think of all the fun and joy that would be lost on Christmas morning, if all the young folks didn't get to see that sparkling, happy tree.
Head Elf: All up for elf practice!
Santa Claus: Well, let's get this over with. I have to go down and look over the new deer.
Head Elf: [in a different voice] Okay, Santa.
[to the elves]
Head Elf: Now let's try out the new elf song I wrote. And remember, it's for Santa.
Head Elf: And a one-a, and a two-a, and a three-a!
Sam the Snowman: [after Yukon and the Bumble tumble over the cliff and Hermey and Rudolph assume they're dead] Well, they are all very sad at the loss of their friend. But they realize that the best thing to do is to get the women back to Christmas Town. So they made it back, and when everybody hears their story, they start to realize maybe they were a little hard on the misfits. Maybe misfits have a place, too. Even Santa realizes that maybe - he was wrong.
Hermey: [about the Bumble] Don't let this big blowhard scare you anymore; just walk right past him.
Santa Claus: [examining the weather report that one of the elves gave him] Well, this is it. The storm won't subside by tonight. We - we'll have to cancel Christmas.
Mrs. Claus: [sympathetically] Papa, are you sure?
Santa Claus: [crushed] Everything's grounded. Aw, the poor kids, they've been so good this year, too. But I couldn't chance it. I'll have to tell everybody that it's all off this year.
Santa Claus: [singing] Jingle, jingle, jingle / You will hear my sleigh bells ring / I am old Kris Kringle / I'm the king of jing-a-ling.
Santa Claus: Donner, you should be ashamed of yourself. What a pity. He had a nice takeoff, too.
Sam the Snowman: Well now let me tell you about Rudolph. It all started a couple of years before the big snow. It was springtime, and Santa's lead reindeer, Donner, had just become a proud papa.
Hermey: [musically] Why am I such a misfit? I am not just a nitwit. You can't fire me, I quit. Seems I don't fit in.
Rudolph: [musically] Why am I such a misfit? I am not just a nitwit. Just because my nose glows... why don't I fit in?
Rudolph: Goodbye, Cornelius. I hope you find lots of tinsel. Goodbye, Hermey. Whatever a dentist is, I hope someday you will be the greatest.
Sam the Snowman: Of course the number one citizens up here are the Clauses, Santa and the Missus. They live right over there. First castle on the left. Matter of fact, the *only* castle on the left.
Donner: Now don't worry about your nose, son. Just get out there and do your stuff. Remember, you're my little buck.
Rudolph: Hey, we're all misfits, too. Maybe we could stay here for a while.
Charlie-In-The-Box: Well, you'll have to get permission from King Moonracer.
Rudolph: Who's he?
Charlie-In-The-Box: He rules here. Every night, he searches the entire earth. When he finds a misfit toy, one that no little girl or boy loves, he brings it here to live on his island till someone wants it. He's holding court in his castle right now.
Hermey: No, I just can't. It's like he said, I'll never fit in.
[goes to the workshop window and opens it, then climbs onto the sill in preparation to climb down]
Hermey: I - I guess I'm on my own now.
[he jumps down]
Spotted Elephant: How would you like to be a spotted elephant?
Train with Square Wheels: Or a choo-choo with square wheels on your caboose?
Water Pistol: [shooting jelly toward Hermey] Or a water pistol that shoots jelly?
Spotted Elephant, Train with Square Wheels, Water Pistol: We're all misfits!
Bird that Swims: How would you like to be a bird that doesn't fly? I swim!
Cowboy on the Ostrich: Or a cowboy who rides - an ostrich?
Sinking Boat: Or a - a - a boat that can't stay a - afloat?
Bird that Swims, Cowboy on the Ostrich, Sinking Boat: We're all misfits!
Sam the Snowman: Ah, youth. Meanwhile, the elves are bustling with activity. Christmas is over, but they still keep busy with lessons in elf improvement.
Sam the Snowman: Now don't any of you worry your heads about Santa, Mrs. Claus will have him plenty fattened up before Christmas Eve. It's always the same story.
Santa Claus: Great bouncing icebergs!
Donner: Yeah, I'm sure it'll stop as soon as he grows up, Santa.
Santa Claus: Well, let's hope so, if he wants to make the sleigh team someday.
Santa Claus: You see, little fellow, every year I shine up my jingle bells for eight lucky reindeer.
Sam the Snowman: I don't know what we would have done without Rudolph to pull us through. Anyway - uh, Rudolph? Huh, could it be that some of you are not acquainted with the story of Rudolph?
Sam the Snowman: Well, pull up an ice block and lend an ear. Now you know how Santa uses these flying reindeer to pull his sleigh.
Sam the Snowman: You know Dasher... and Dancer, and Prancer, and Vixen; Comet, and Cupid, and Donner, and Blitzen.
Yukon Cornelius: Observe the Bumble's one weakness.
[he watches the Bumble put one foot into the water, then sinks]
Yukon Cornelius: The bumble sinks! Ha ha!
Sam the Snowman: Now you can bet that old Donner felt pretty bad about the way he had treated Rudolph, and he knew that the only thing to do was to go out and look for his little buck. Mrs. Donner wanted to go along, naturally, but Donner said...
Donner: No. This is man's work.
Sam the Snowman: And no sooner did the man of the house leave when Mrs. Donner and Clarice decided to set out on their own. Now they were really taking their chances, because you see, that little ice boat had run into a pack of mighty-weighted fog.
Head Elf: That sounded terrible! The tenor section was weak!
Elf: Wasn't our fault, boss. Hermey didn't show up.
Head Elf: What?
Sam the Snowman: Like I said, the outside world is up to its ears in danger.
Sam the Snowman: [laughs] Silver and gold. Well, what do you think of our friend Cornelius? Seems all he thinks about is silver and gold.
Yukon Cornelius: Terrible weather we've been havin'!
Yukon Cornelius: Snow, and ice!
Santa Claus: Rudolph, I promise. As soon as this storm lets up, I'll find homes for all those misfit toys.
Santa Claus: I've got some bad news, folks. Christmas is going to be cancelled.
Sam the Snowman: Nice around here, isn't it? I call it Christmas Town, better known as the North Pole. A Christmas tree forest. Yep, here's where we grow 'em. Nice place to live, you know. Christmas seals.
Sam the Snowman: Ah, well. Such is the life of an elf. Meanwhile, Rudolph is having his growing pains, too. Old Donner is determine to keep Rudolph's nose a secret.
Santa Claus: [after "We are Santa's Elves"] Well, it needs work. I have to go.
[leaves the room]
Mrs. Claus: [to the Head Elf] What does Papa know? It's beautiful! You keep it just the way it was.
[going after Santa]
Mrs. Claus: Papa? Papa!
Clarice's Father: Clarice?
Clarice's Father: You get back to your cave, this instant!
Clarice: But, I...
Clarice's Father: This instant, young lady!
Clarice: Yes, sir.
Clarice's Father: Now, there's one thing I want to make very plain: no doe of mine is going to be seen with a... a red nosed reindeer.