"Doctor" Jayne Mansfield is in Italy to show a peer her documentary about mating customs from around the world while at the same time having to deal with two bellhops who have an idea or two about mating with Jayne.
A businessman plans to solve his tax problems by financing a film version of "Romeo and Juliet". He hires Maurice Chevalier and Jayne Mansfield to play the title roles, and Akim Tamiroff to... See full summary »
Three thieves rip off a shipment of used money being sent back to the US. As they are escaping the robbery (after having taken a hostage), they wind up on an island in a hotel with an ... See full summary »
Off the coast of Florida, a nearly-deserted island is rumored to have the fountain of youth. A boatload of teenage kids are headed there for a scavenger hunt. Wellington, the island's ... See full summary »
Jack E. Leonard,
This was the first movie in which a mainstream actress (Jayne Mansfield) appeared nude. (Actually, the movie showed her only topless, but a photo in Kenneth Anger's book "Hollywood Babylon II" shows Mansfield on the set completely nude.) It reportedly took some imbibing of champagne on Mansfield's part to get her to take off her clothes. See more »
Now then, just dissolve this in an alcoholic drink and take it down.
You mean to say that this pill is going to help me become a father?
I have every reason to believe it will.
Wow! What's in it?
Well, let us just say it will accomplish a purpose. Immediately afterwards, however, a temporary state of amnesia may occur.
There's nothing to worry about.
Oh, thank you, Doctor.
You're very welcome. 'Bye.
[recording his notes]
Patient Jeffrey Brooks, professional writer, travelling on ...
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Anything good about this film? Well, there are two things
There was a time when you could not show nudity in films. And then all of a sudden you could. Who better to use to display this newfound freedom than Jayne Mansfield? So, in Promises! Promises! Mansfield takes off her clothes. Anything else worth saying about the film? Not really. It's a comedy of mishaps and misunderstandings. Unfortunately there is practically nothing that is at all funny in this supposed comedy. How desperate is the film for laughs? Well, there's a female impersonator, a character who is the most wretched thing in the largely wretched film. He does a Jayne Mansfield impersonation. Mansfield's character responds that she does her too. Hilarious, right? No, not at all. The plot, about who exactly is impregnating whom aboard a cruise ship, is rather inane. There's not even enough story to stretch the film out to a proper feature length. The film clocks in at a mere 75 minutes but it seems interminable. In a sign of true desperation Mansfield's brief nude scenes are repeated over and over again in dream sequences or flashbacks. At least the filmmakers were honest with themselves and the audience. They knew people were only coming to see this film for one reason. Well, two reasons to be precise. Mansfield's acting in the film actually isn't half bad. But the story's a dud and the rest of the cast gives Mansfield very little support. As a film Promises! Promises! fails miserably. But nobody cares about its quality as a film, the thing only exists as a vehicle to show off Mansfield's prize assets. In that, if nothing else, it succeeds.
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