Aliens in bullet-head helmets, young boys running around in short shorts, army soldiers made up like Ru-Paul, Sonny Chiba (!) at his most un-heroic and Thomas the Tank Engine as the alien spaceship - is this any way to make a sci-fi movie?
It is if you've made this one. "Uchu Kaisoku-sen" (or "Invasion of the Neptune Men", as I know it) is a movie I have mixed feelings about. On one hand, it has a plot that feels like they left a few pages out of the script and replaced it with LOTS of stock footage. On the other hand, this is also a movie that will leave you rolling in the aisles (or your living room floor), gasping for breath at the stupid (dubbed) dialogue, fakey "special" FX, small disc ships that look like evil crab cakes and large groups of Japanese people running around all over the place - with no Godzilla in sight.
And that Space Chef - excuse me, Space CHIEF - what kind of a mook traipses around in white leotards, cape and a helmet with a corrective sun visor, trying to subdue the bad guys with karate kicks and chops that my two year-old daughter could out-maneuver with ease? To think that this was Sonny Chiba in that spandex is a head-scratcher; we all gotta start somewhere, I suppose.
You can watch this either way: alone or with Mike and the robots. Doesn't matter 'cause you'll get entertainment value either way. Derisive laughter is derisive laughter, no matter how you take it. Though I still cackle when I think of how the MST3K crew reacted when they blew up the Hitler building ("WHAT?!!") or Servo's song dedicated to the stock footage ("da da da-da da da...EAT IT, MOVIE!!!).
Anyway, you watch a movie like this on a Saturday afternoon - after the cartoons and before the pro-bowler's tour. Perfect way to waste a couple of hours: laughing hysterically.
Seven stars (yeah, that's right - SEVEN) for "Uchu Kaisoku-sen". Ten stars, as always, for the MST3K version.
And, as always, "NE C'EST PAS"!
