The Little Shop of Horrors (1960)
Fouch: Besides, I've got to get home. My wife's making gardenias for dinner.
Leonora Clyde: Speak for yourself, John.
[Seymour snaps out of his trance]
Seymour: My name is Seymour.
Leonora Clyde: [mockingly] My name is Seymour!
Seymour: That's my name, too!
Sgt. Joe Fink: [voice-over] Now we were on the case. Officer Frank Stoolie and me. My name is Fink. Sergeant Joe Fink. I'm a Fink.
Mushnick: Oh, here are your carnations. Wait, I'll wrap them for you.
Fouch: No, that's all right, I'll eat 'em here.
Fouch: My name is Burson Fouch.
Mushnick: Excellent. I am Gravis Mushnick.
Fouch: Oh, that's a good one.
[Seymour is impersonating Dr. Farb to a new patient]
Wilbur Force: My name is Wilbur Force.
Seymour: Wilbur Force what?
Wilbur Force: Just Wilbur Force. My first name is Wilbur, my last name is Force. I don't have a middle name.
Seymour: Well, do you have an appointment, maybe?
Wilbur Force: No, but you were very highly recommended to me by one of your patients, a Mrs. S. Shiva. I do a lot of undertaking for her relatives.
Seymour: Well, as you can see I have a customer now. And I'm all booked up for the rest of the day, so you'll have to come back tomorrow.
Wilbur Force: Oh, I couldn't do that. I have three or four abscesses, I touch of pyorrhea, nine or ten cavities, I lost my pivot tooth, and I'm in terrible pain!
Seymour: Well I can't help you today.
Wilbur Force: Oh, that's all right. I'll just wait outside.
Mushnick: All right, explain me more.
Fouch: Well, I remember one place that had a whole wall covered with poison ivy. Now, people came from miles around to look at that wall and they stayed to buy.
Mushnick: The owner got rich?
Fouch: No, he scratched himself to death in an insane asylum.
Mrs. Shiva: [gasps] That was my cousin Harry!
sign in flower shop: Lots Plants Cheap
[Seymour walks into the shop holding a bag with Dr. Farb's corpse in it]
Audrey Jr.: Feed me!
Seymour: Aw, take it easy, Dracula. What do you think I'm carrying here, my dirty laundry?
Wilbur Force: [reading an article from "Pain" magazine in the waiting room of the dentist; giggling] The patient came to me with a large hole in his abdomen, caused by a fire poker used on him by his wife. He almost bled to death and gangrene had set in. I didn't give him much of a chance. There were other complications. The man had cancer, tuberculosis, leprosy, and a touch of the grippe. I decided to operate.
Seymour: Don't waste your pity on me, Audrey. I'm not worth it.
Audrey: Who says you're not?
Audrey: Yeah, I know.
[shouting at Seymour, who has been singing off-camera]
Mushnick: Shut up from the back!
Seymour: You mean I'm fired?
Mushnick: No, I'm electing you President of the United States! *Yes*, you are fired!
sign in flower shop: We don't LETTING YOU SPEND so much
[a patient has just ran out of Farb's office screaming]
Dr. Phoebus Farb: Seymour, Seymour, got a bad tooth, huh?
Seymour: [frightened; turns around to leave] No, I thought this was the men's room.
Dr. Phoebus Farb: Seymour, come back here, you bad dog, you, get in there!
[Farb grabs Seymour and pushes him into his office]
Sgt. Joe Fink: [voiceover over a panning shot of a drawing of a sleazy neighbourhood] My name is Sergeant Joe Fink, working the 24-hour shift out of homicide. And this is my workshop. The part of town that everybody knows about, but that nobody wants to see - where the tragedies are deeper, the ecstasy's wilder and the crime rate consistently higher than anywhere else. Skid Row... my beat.
Fouch: Good night. And I'll see you tomorrow. I'm crazy about kosher flowers.
Mushnick: Flowers, fresh as the springtime, Mushnick's.
Seymour: I didn't mean it.
Mushnick: You didn't mean it. You never mean it. You didn't mean it the time when you put up the bouquet with the 'get well' card in the funeral parlor, and sent the black lilies to the old lady in the hospital, you didn't mean it. But this time, I, Gravis Mushnick, mean it!
Fouch: [to Seymour] He means it.
Mushnick: Bring me whisky, rum, wine, gin, bourbon...
Mushnick: ...scotch, rye, tequila, sake, Manischewitz...
Waitress: Did you bring the money?
Mushnick: Don't work me with the money. I've got to get drunk, now!
Sgt. Joe Fink: We just want to ask you a few questions.
Mushnick: I didn't do it.
Officer Frank Stoolie: Do what?
Leonora Clyde: What's the matter? Don't you like me?
Seymour: Too bony.
Leonora Clyde: Too bony? Nobody's ever told me that before.
Seymour: Beef is better than veal.
[she stands up]
Leonora Clyde: You're such a do-do! What do you call this, chopped liver?
[he pokes her side]
Seymour: Master would like more fat.
[after pulling out one of Seymour's teeth]
Dr. Phoebus Farb: Look at that! Would you look at that, Seymour? I didn't know you were an elk!
Audrey: Why don't you give him a chance to resurrect himself?
Mushnick: I give him chance to quit!
Seymour: I ain't gonna quit!
Mushnick: You're a brave boy, you're fired.
Audrey: I wish you'd break out and tell me.
Mushnick: All right, I'll tell you tomorrow right after I am telling the police.
Sgt. Joe Fink: [voice-over] But Mushnick didn't come to the police. If he had, that might have been the finish of the unhappy story. It was not.
Mushnick: Who... I mean... what did it eat this time?
Seymour: Uh... about a million Japanese beetles.
Mushnick: You have perhaps an explanation?
Seymour: No, but if you give me a minute I'll think of one.
Mrs. Hortense Feuchtwanger: I happen to represent the Society of Silent Flower Observers of Southern California.
Shirley: Well, we're from Cucamonga High School...
Shirley's Friend: ...and we're building a float...
Shirley: ...for the Rose Bowl Parade...
Shirley's Friend: ...which is made out of flowers...
Shirley: ...thousands of them...
Shirley's Friend: ...and we're on the commitee...
Shirley: ...that picks the florist...
Shirley's Friend: ...and then glues on the flowers.
Seymour: I'm getting pretty tired of you.
Audrey Jr.: I need food!
Seymour: I don't care what you need. Look what you done to me, you not only made a butcher out of me but you drove my girl away.
Audrey Jr.: Shut up and bring on the food!
Audrey: [excited about the overnight growth of Audrey Jr] Isn't it empirical?
Mushnick: It grows like a cold sore from the lip.
Sgt. Joe Fink: How's the wife, Frank?
Officer Frank Stoolie: Not bad, Joe.
Sgt. Joe Fink: Glad to hear it. The kids?
Officer Frank Stoolie: Lost one yesterday.
Sgt. Joe Fink: Lost one, eh? How'd that happen?
Officer Frank Stoolie: Playing with matches.
Sgt. Joe Fink: Well, those are the breaks.
Officer Frank Stoolie: Yeah, I guess so.
Seymour: Did you call me, Mr. Mushnick?
Mushnick: No, I was calling John D. Rockefeller for to make a loan on my Rolls Royce!
Seymour: Sorry I said it.
Mrs. Shiva: I thought possibly because I give you all my funeral business, that maybe you should possibly give to me a little cut rate.
Mushnick: Look at me, Mrs. Shiva. What I, a philatelist?... To my throat I would be giving a cut.
Radio announcer: [as Seymour walks into his home] This is Radio KSIK. You've been listening to "Music for Old Invalids." Our next selection is entitled, "Sickroom Serenade."
Winifred: [reading a medicine botte label] If you get hit by a truck, call your physician.
Winifred: I don't like my house cluttered up with rotten vegetables.
Seymour: Look, Ma, I've gotta go. Can I bring you anything?
Winifred: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bring me the Evening News. They're running a self-diagnosis contest The winner gets to go the Mayo Clinic.
Seymour: I gave it a name.
Mushnick: What name?
Seymour: Aw, gee...
Mushnick: What? You gave it a dirty name that you can't even mention it?
Mushnick: Look, Audrey. Isn't he beautiful? Isn't he delicious? Isn't he got a $2 raise? What happened to your fingers?
Seymour: Bee stings. Oh, so how come I am all of a sudden so wonderful?
Mushnick: Five bees, one for each finger?
Seymour: [hold up both hands] Ten bees.
Shirley's Friend: Doesn't it have a scientific name?
Mushnick: Yes, of course. But who could denounce it?
Mushnick: Girls, girls, girls, girls, girls. Please don't damage the horticulturist.
Mushnick: Oh, fine. In this fancy shmancy restaurant, you are holding hostages, right?
Mushnick: Excellent. You eat up Audrey. I'll be back in a flash with the cash.
Wilbur Force: I'd almost rather go to the dentist than anywhere, wouldn't you?
Wilbur Force: Now, no novocaine. It dulls the senses.
Winifred: She's out after your money.
Seymour: I don't have any money.
Winifred: Oh, she's a smart one. She'll latch onto ya until you get some, and then goodbye fortune.
Mushnick: Good morning, Mrs. Shiva. How are we today?
Mrs. Shiva: Oh, the same, Mr. Mushnick. My sister's nephew Henry died yesterday in Little Rock, Arkansas.
Mushnick: Oh, what happened?
Mrs. Shiva: He got blown up. Who knows how?
Mushnick: That's nice. You may want some flowers for the funeral?