The Little Shop of Horrors (1960) Poster

Jonathan Haze: Seymour Krelborn



  • Leonora Clyde : Speak for yourself, John.

    [Seymour snaps out of his trance] 

    Seymour : My name is Seymour.

    Leonora Clyde : [mockingly]  My name is Seymour!

    Seymour : That's my name, too!

  • [Seymour is impersonating Dr. Farb to a new patient] 

    Wilbur Force : My name is Wilbur Force.

    Seymour : Wilbur Force what?

    Wilbur Force : Just Wilbur Force. My first name is Wilbur, my last name is Force. I don't have a middle name.

    Seymour : Well, do you have an appointment, maybe?

    Wilbur Force : No, but you were very highly recommended to me by one of your patients, a Mrs. S. Shiva. I do a lot of undertaking for her relatives.

    Seymour : Well, as you can see I have a customer now. And I'm all booked up for the rest of the day, so you'll have to come back tomorrow.

    Wilbur Force : Oh, I couldn't do that. I have three or four abscesses, I touch of pyorrhea, nine or ten cavities, I lost my pivot tooth, and I'm in terrible pain!

    Seymour : Well I can't help you today.

    Wilbur Force : Oh, that's all right. I'll just wait outside.

  • [Seymour walks into the shop holding a bag with Dr. Farb's corpse in it] 

    Audrey Jr. : Feed me!

    Seymour : Aw, take it easy, Dracula. What do you think I'm carrying here, my dirty laundry?

  • Seymour : Don't waste your pity on me, Audrey. I'm not worth it.

    Audrey : Who says you're not?

    Seymour : Everybody.

    Audrey : Yeah, I know.

  • Seymour : You mean I'm fired?

    Mushnick : No, I'm electing you President of the United States! *Yes*, you are fired!

  • [a patient has just ran out of Farb's office screaming] 

    Dr. Phoebus Farb : Seymour, Seymour, got a bad tooth, huh?

    Seymour : [frightened; turns around to leave]  No, I thought this was the men's room.

    Dr. Phoebus Farb : Seymour, come back here, you bad dog, you, get in there!

    [Farb grabs Seymour and pushes him into his office] 

  • Audrey : Don't worry, you're gonna be another Luther Glendale.

    Seymour : Pasadena.

    Audrey : Burbank.

  • [repeated line] 

    Seymour : Oh boy!

  • [repeated line] 

    Seymour : I didn't mean it!

  • Seymour : I didn't mean it.

    Mushnick : You didn't mean it. You never mean it. You didn't mean it the time when you put up the bouquet with the 'get well' card in the funeral parlor, and sent the black lilies to the old lady in the hospital, you didn't mean it. But this time, I, Gravis Mushnick, mean it!

    Fouch : [to Seymour]  He means it.

  • Leonora Clyde : What's the matter? Don't you like me?

    Seymour : Too bony.

    Leonora Clyde : Too bony? Nobody's ever told me that before.

    Seymour : Beef is better than veal.

    [she stands up] 

    Leonora Clyde : You're such a do-do! What do you call this, chopped liver?

    [he pokes her side] 

    Seymour : Master would like more fat.

  • Audrey : Why don't you give him a chance to resurrect himself?

    Mushnick : I give him chance to quit!

    Seymour : I ain't gonna quit!

    Mushnick : You're a brave boy, you're fired.

  • Mushnick : Who... I mean... what did it eat this time?

    Seymour : Uh... about a million Japanese beetles.

  • Mushnick : You have perhaps an explanation?

    Seymour : No, but if you give me a minute I'll think of one.

  • Seymour : I'm getting pretty tired of you.

    Audrey Jr. : I need food!

    Seymour : I don't care what you need. Look what you done to me, you not only made a butcher out of me but you drove my girl away.

    Audrey Jr. : Shut up and bring on the food!

  • Seymour : Did you call me, Mr. Mushnick?

    Mushnick : No, I was calling John D. Rockefeller for to make a loan on my Rolls Royce!

    Seymour : Sorry I said it.

  • [last lines] 

    Winifred : SEYMOUR?

    Seymour : I didn't mean it!

  • Seymour : Look, Ma, I've gotta go. Can I bring you anything?

    Winifred : Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bring me the Evening News. They're running a self-diagnosis contest The winner gets to go the Mayo Clinic.

  • Seymour : I gave it a name.

    Mushnick : What name?

    Seymour : Aw, gee...

    Mushnick : What? You gave it a dirty name that you can't even mention it?

  • Mushnick : Look, Audrey. Isn't he beautiful? Isn't he delicious? Isn't he got a $2 raise? What happened to your fingers?

    Seymour : Bee stings. Oh, so how come I am all of a sudden so wonderful?

    Mushnick : Five bees, one for each finger?

    Seymour : [hold up both hands]  Ten bees.

  • Seymour : It's this tooth, over here.

    Dr. Phoebus Farb : Seymour, who's the dentist here, you or me?

  • Wilbur Force : I'd almost rather go to the dentist than anywhere, wouldn't you?

    Seymour : Yeah.

    Wilbur Force : Now, no novocaine. It dulls the senses.

  • Seymour : This is gonna hurt you more than it is me.

    Wilbur Force : Oh, goody, goody. Here it comes.

  • Seymour : Ain't it something?

    Audrey : It's monstrosinous.

  • Seymour : Oh, boy, you kiss good, Audrey.

    Audrey : I guess I just have a good kisser.

  • Winifred : She's out after your money.

    Seymour : I don't have any money.

    Winifred : Oh, she's a smart one. She'll latch onto ya until you get some, and then goodbye fortune.

  • Seymour : But Audrey's an honest girl, ma.

    Winifred : Ya never trust a woman who's too healthy.

See also

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