The Dark at the Top of the Stairs

Executive: We sell new machinery. What do you know about drilling equipment for oil fields?

Rubin Flood: Not a thing.

Executive: Then why should we hire you?

Rubin Flood: You chew tobacco, mister?

Executive: I beg your pardon!

Rubin Flood: You talk crops and weather? You know who's had a baby lately? You know who goes to church and who don't? Who likes corn liquor and who likes store liquor? Who's a Republican, who's a Democrat?

Executive: Our methods are a little more modern than that.

Rubin Flood: Well, I'm telling you that the people out here are farmers, no matter how much oil they got in their land. You want to come out of this territory with a profit? You'd be better off taking that diamond stickpin out of your tie and putting a straw hat on the back of your head and a chaw in your cheek! You're gonna have to hunker down and talk business with a man who's cleaning out his pigsty. That's where a lot of sales are made... and it can't be done in a New York suit!