Danny and Pat want to pick up a side business. Charlie lets them in on a deal to tear down a building and put in a parking lot. All Charlie has to do is get rid of the nightclub that's leasing the building, and the tenants are way behind in the rent so that's no problem. Or at least it wasn't until Danny and Charlie go to check out the place and find an old friend has sunk all her money into the club. The old owner let them slide until the nightclub could build up a following, and she is worried the new owner won't give them any more time. SONGS: My Mother Was A Lady ...
Danny is up for a big network show, but the network decides to give it to Jack Benny. When Jack shows up at Danny's place to say no hard feelings, Danny loses it. Why you? All you do is say "well" and everybody laughs. Jack asks Danny "what do you think, I'm in league with the devil?" When Jack leaves, Danny starts thinking.
Danny and Kathy can't agree on where to hang their new painting. Terry and Pat had discussed where to go for their honeymoon and reached a decision - until Danny and Kathy weigh in and each try to get their way.
Kathy has been excused from jury duty, but Danny insists it is her duty to go. When Kathy points out that Louise is on vacation, Danny says he has time off and can run the house while Kathy is gone. After all, how hard can it be? Kathy decides to let him find out.
Rusty comes to Danny for help with a decision. A local merchant will buy the baseball team all new uniforms if they let his son pitch once in a while - but the boy's a terrible player. Danny tells Rusty not to sell out. When Phil says they turned down a network show because the sponsor wants a yes man, Danny tells him to go make the deal and turns into "a weak-kneed apple-polishing hypocrite".
Danny enters in his new tailcoat to make an announcement. He has just secured the Cotillion Room for Terry's wedding, she's going to have her dream formal wedding with champagne and caviar. Terry is thrilled. Uncle Tonoose arrives to say everything is set for the wedding: cousin is stomping the grapes for the wine, 6 trucks of relatives are on their way (and 1 truck of sheep to roast), the violinists are booked. It's going to be a real old-fashioned Lebanese wedding, three days and nights. Who is going to tell Uncle Tonoose no?
The family is about to meet Pat's father (Jack Haley). Pat Sr is delighted to meet everyone, except Danny who "stole" his song. The two make up, but continue to fight over everything from the engagement toast to the wedding guests. SONG: about Irish names in Hollywood
Rusty gets a new football uniform. When he and his friends go up to his room so he can try it on, Linda tags along. Rusty stops her, telling her "Football is for boys. You were born a girl, better luck next time." Linda wants to be included, so Linda becomes "Louie".
Terry's only been gone one day and Danny's already down in the dumps missing his little girl. When he gets a phone call to fill in for an ailing Jimmy Durante, Danny thinks that would be a wonderful break for Pat - and a way to get them back in town.
Danny is excited to get a visit from his boyhood friend Jim (Jim Backus) who used to look out for Danny when they were boys in Deerfield, MI. Danny is proud to show Jim his success, but Kathy figures out Jim was hoping Danny still needed him.
Rusty plans to go to the school dance stag so no girl will "get her hooks into me". Barbara is eating her heart out for Rusty to ask her, but all Rusty sees is a baseball teammate. Danny gives Rusty tips on how to treat a girl hoping Rusty will ask Barbara, but Rusty gets so much confidence that he asks the most popular girl in school to the dance.
A show business reporter is talking about her wonderful son who is coming to visit from military school. When she is called away on an overnight assignment, Danny suggests they look after her son for the night hoping he will be a good influence on Rusty.
Linda is mad because she lost her skates and Danny and Kathy refuse to buy her a new pair. She cries "you don't love me" and decides to run away from home. Big brother Rusty tells her to forget it, it's a bad idea. Rusty tells her about the time he ran away from home (Season 4 episode 25) in flashbacks. Danny got a call to perform at the Sands, but it meant he had to back out on a promise to play at Rusty's school. Rusty ran away - to an orphanage.
When the mailman in their new apartment building tells Linda his feet hurt, she decides to help him by delivering some of the mail (without asking him). Kathy sees all the mail in Linda's room and tries to deliver it before Linda gets into trouble. Kathy hides the mail she can't carry and when Danny comes home and finds it, he comes to the only possible conclusion - Kathy is a kleptomaniac.
Rusty gets his report card and no one is more surprised than he is to see all A's. Danny is so proud that he goes overboard. When Rusty's teacher tells him that she made a mistake, Rusty is at a loss how to break it to his father.
Danny is doing a show with glamour girl Lisa Lazlow (ZsaZsa Gabor). Kathy learns they have worked together before and Danny sang Kathy's song (But Beautiful) to Lisa in the show. Lisa doesn't help matters by playing up to Danny. SONG: But Beautiful
Doris is dependable, capable, and single. She can fix plumbing, electrical, a carburetor, and tells Kathy she doesn't need a husband. When Phil comes over to talk Kathy into letting Danny go out of town, he says how wonderful that Danny has such a dependable, capable wife and what a shame he never meets anyone like Kathy.
Uncle Tonoose is coming to visit. Rusty and Linda's friend says he's a liar nearly causing a fight. Kathy is worried about the effect of Uncle Tonoose's stories. Danny assures her they're harmless - until Uncle Tonoose says he knows middleweight champion Kid Moore. Kid Moore is coming to the apartment tomorrow to rehearse with Danny. Will the confrontation expose the truth?
It's Christmas time and Kathy promised a neighbor she'd talk to Danny about meeting two sisters who wrote a Christmas song. Danny explains that songs don't make money until they are published. The sisters say they have a publisher who gave them a contract and only charged them $75 in pre-publishing costs. Danny and Charlie smell a rat and set out to get the money back.
When Rusty breaks one of Danny's golf clubs, he knows he'll be grounded and he's afraid his team will lose their next game. Rusty talks Linda into taking the blame for him now in exchange for him taking the blame for her at a future date. Kathy suspects Linda is not strong enough to have broken the club. Kathy, Danny, and Charlie all try to get Rusty to confess.