One Way Ticket to Hell

The film revolves around the character of Cassandra, a teen who gets mixed up with a bunch of bikers who smoke reefers. Most of the bikers look like nerds, and, of course, everyone knows that nerds smoke grass every chance they can. (I started, immediately after viewing this film.) Somehow, Cassandra manages to marry a decent boy named Johnny Adams, but can't stay away from the weed and the bikes. Despite Johnny getting her a dog and her doctor giving her sleeping pills (nice move, Doc - your name ain't Kevorkian, is it?), she falls deeper into the dumper. In several scenes, she crawls along the ground, impersonating David Hasselhoff sans the hamburger. Eventually, she hooks up with a chubby heroin addict, various sundry sordid characters, and finally, a Latin American junkie, played by director Price. Price gives the best performance in the film, which isn't saying much. Price's father, oddly enough named B. Lawrence Price, Sr., appears in the film as Cassandra's stepfather. The Johnny character simply disappears from the film, as well as the dog.

There is no dialogue, just narration by "Lt. David Jason." This puts the film on a par with "The Beast of Yucca Flats," but at least Beast had Tor Johnson around for laughs.

The film is basically a one-hour documentary, not nearly as entertaining as those 1950s educational films which tell you to avoid restrooms along the highways, what to do on a first date, how to practice good hygiene, and how to kiss your butt goodbye when the commies bomb us.

To movie is so bad that most of the actors are only in this one film.

Classically bad fifties cheapo, there's not even any dialogue! Either some genius lost the sound a la "The Creeping Terror", or the budget was so low that it was shot as a silent film. There is no sound but the heavy-handed narration, some stock music, and some really bad Foley effects that don't match the action on screen at all (cops run across the sandy desert and their footsteps echo).

It's about this girl who Goes Wrong; she goes from high school bad girl to tranquilized housewife, to dealer, to junkie, to hardened thief, all because she went for a motorcycle ride with some bad kids! Take heed, discontented teenagers!

Since it's all about the dangers of drugs there are about 20 different writhing-on-the-ground scenes, most of them hysterically funny. Whether it's star Barbara Marks rolling around her nice suburban yard looking for another seconal, or a series of surprisingly clean, well-dressed junkies going through withdrawl to the "Twilight Zone" sound, you can't help but laugh at the clueless, silent overacting.

A classic among bad movies.

This silly "juvenile delinquent" film is fun for a lot of reasons: there is NO dialogue, only flat narration; the female teenage lead looks like a hardened 40 year old; the narrator's analysis of psychological problems is a hoot; and the motorcycle gang looks like a troupe of Cub Scouts. Good stuff!

...considering that none of the actors had any dialogue and considering the lousy music.