Terry: If all else fails, there's always that little home in the country.
Calvero: This is my home, here.
Terry: I thought you hated the theater.
Calvero: I do. I also hate the sight of blood, but it's in my veins.
Calvero: What do you want meaning for? Life is a desire, not a meaning. Desire is the theme of all life!
Calvero: There's something about working the streets I like. It's the tramp in me I suppose.
Calvero: That's all any of us are: amateurs. We don't live long enough to be anything else.
Calvero: Life can be wonderful if you're not afraid of it.
Terry: Worms can't smile!
Calvero: Oh, how would you know, have you ever appealed to their sense of humour?
Terry: Of course not.
Calvero: Well then!
Calvero: I believe I'm dying, doctor. I should know. I've died so many times.
Doctor: Are you in pain?
Calvero: No more... no more...
Calvero: Time is the best author. It always writes the perfect ending.
Calvero: What a day! The sun's shining, the kettle's singing, *and* we've paid the rent. There's going to be an earthquake, I know it, I know it, I know it.
Terry: I'm sorry.
Calvero: You should be. A young girl like you wanting to throw your life away. Heh! When you are my age you want to hang onto it.
Calvero: Think of the power that's in the universe! Turning the Earth. Making the trees grow. Well that's the same power within you! If you'd only have courage and the will to use it!
Calvero: Life isn't a gag anymore. I can't see the joke.
Calvero: Where is she? I want to see her dance.
Mrs. Alsop: She's not going back to her old room!
Calvero: Well then, she'll just have to stay here.
Mrs. Alsop: What? And scandalize my whole household?
Calvero: What's the difference? We could be man and wife for all anyone cares!
Calvero: It sure does.
Calvero: That dress. Goes on tight.
Calvero: How do I look?
Terry: [can see he was drinking] Funny.
Calvero: I know what you're thinking, my health and all that. But there's a creamy white light going on and off inside.
Terry: Is it really worth it?
Calvero: Not that I care for success, but I don't want another failure.
Calvero: [stuck in a drum] This has been a wonderful evening. I'd like to continue, but I'm stuck!
[as Terry dances, Calvero prays behind the stage]
Calvero: Whoever you are, whatever it is, keep it going. Keep it going until...
[sees someone staring at him]
Calvero: I've lost a button... one of those cheap outfits...
Calvero: You could be Mrs Calvero, in name only of course.
Terry: Won't it inconvenience you?
Calvero: Not at all! I've had five wives, one more or less won't make any difference! And I've reached the point where a relationship can be maintained on the most platonic level.
Terry: What is there to fight for?
Calvero: Ah, you see, you admit it. What is there to fight for? Everything. Life itself, isn't that enough, to be lived, suffered, enjoyed. What is there to fight for? Life is a beautiful, magnificent thing, even to a jellyfish. Besides, you have your art, your dancing.
Terry: I can't dance without legs.
Calvero: I know a man without arms who can play a scherzo on a violin and does it all with his toes. The trouble is you won't fight. You've given in, continually dwelling on sickness and death. But there's something just as inevitable as death, and that's life. Life, life, life. Think of all the power that's in the universe, moving the earth, growing the trees. That's the same power within you if you only have courage and the will to use it.