The Stork Club

Why is this a movie for dieters? Because it is so lightweight! Try to control your hysterical laughter at my most amusing joke. But seriously, folks, I wanna tellya .....

For those movie viewers who like to think about what they're watching while they're watching it, this movie is not for you. For those movie viewers who want to simply forget about what ails the world and who have no better way to pass about 1¾ hours, this movie is for you. Oh! To halfway enjoy this movie, it also helps if you like old movies, now-dead movie stars and mostly forgettable music which has long since been forgotten.

The main beneficiary of this movie was none other than Sherman Billingsley. He was the owner and proprietor of New York City's famous Stork Club. Not only did he get to have a movie named for his popular nightclub, but he's also a main character in the movie. Talk about your free publicity! Unfortunately for Shermie, he did not get to play himself in the movie. That task fell to Bill Goodwin, George and Gracie's renowned radio announcer. But the real stars of this piece of fluff are the effervescent Betty Hutton and the movies' favorite persnickety Irishman, Barry Fitzgerald. The plot revolves around romantic mixups involving Betty, Barry and Bill -- the three B's? -- as well as Don DeFore and the inimitable humorist, Robert Benchley. It's the type of contrived plot that tests the credulity of even the most tolerant viewer, so you can imagine how the intolerant are likely to react.

For me, the movie's most disappointing aspect was its music. And that's the main reason I had opted to watch it! This movie employed some of the top songwriters of the 1940s (as well as of other decades) -- Hoagy Carmichael, Paul Francis Webster, Jule Styne, Sammy Cahn, Jay Livingston and Ray Evans -- the best and most famous of the group employed. The movie was even co-written and co-produced by Buddy DeSylva, a pretty fair country songwriter in his own right from the 1920s and 1930s. Out of that entire group, the best and only worthwhile song they were able to come up with was Hoagy and Paul Francis' "Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief." Although this song helped put Betty on the map and was quite popular in its day, when one thinks back to the memorable songs of that era, "D, L, I C" is not one that will pop readily into anyone's mind. And it stands out head and shoulders above all other songs in this movie!

One person who lost out by this movie's musical dearth was Andy Russell. Andy was one of the better crooners of the 1940s and, in my book, much underrated. He made his musical debut in this movie and that great roster of songwriters gave him NOTHING worthwhile to sing. It was the musical equivalent of, let's say, Lawrence Olivier making his movie debut with all of his dialogue being written by ..... ME!!!

So, any of you folks needing to shed a few pounds, you can't do better than to start with "The Stork Club." It's lightweight, low-calorie and, in 1¾ hours, will take two inches off that ole tum-tum. Guaranteed! If not, your money cheerfully refunded ..... in full!