Universal put out three Flash Gordon chapter plays, in 1936, 1938
and 1940; but despite the larger budgets of the latter two, the first
is the by far the most fun; its successors are pale in comparison,
although the Clay People of Series II are certainly worth while. I
loved the 1936 serial dearly when I was five years old, seeing it on
TV; and I still retain a good deal of affection for it, even now when I
am old enough to be aware of the cardboard sets, ridiculous
dialogue and frequent lapses of taste. Who cares? Flash's
adventures have nothing to do with outer space and are largely
medieval, as this 1930s art deco Siegfried battles shark men,
hawk men, and cheesy rubber dragons. Buster Crabbe is ideal,
and Charles Middleton positively believes he IS Ming the
Merciless. Then there is Princess Aura. I don't know about the rest
of you male types out there, but if I were Flash I would have
dumped Dale for Priscilla Lawson's voluptuous princess by
Episode Two. Besides the perfectly obvious fact that she would be
vastly more fun in bed, consider: When Flash is in horrible danger,
what does Dale do? She faints, or gets hypnotised. Aura,
meanwhile, has swiped a rocket ship, bribed the guards, found a
cache of weapons, and is actively doing her best to rescue the
guy. She saves Flash's butt from certain horrible death about every
other episode, but does the big lunk appreciate it? Oh well. Even
when I was five I was dimly aware that there was some reason I
wanted her to take me home with her... and above all, there's
Frank Shannon's Zarkov. "You are a remarkable man. I can use
you" says Emperor Ming; and what Zarkov doesn't say, but is
clearly thinking, is: "and I can use a blithering mad emperor with
unlimited power and a fantastic laboratory"! My favorite dialogue in
the whole serial comes in Episode One. Zarkov and Flash have
just met, and Zarkov explains that the Earth's only hope of survival
is his home built rocket ship. "Sure this thing will work?" asks
Flash, after they've come aboard. "I've experimented with models"
Zarkov replies. "Ah," responds Flash; "They ever come back?" With
perfect equanimity Zarkov says "They weren't supposed to." Now,
there's a REAL Mad Scientist after my own heart! Zarkov routinely
invents the impossible on five minutes notice, from invisibility rays
to anti-gravitons. The whole thing is so absurd it's magnificent, so
hokey it's colossal. It's for the precocious five-year-old in us all.
