Tycoon John Glidden, dying though still vigorous, is so dissatisfied with his relatives and associates that, rather than will his money to any of them, he decides to give it away in million-dollar amounts to strangers picked from the city directory. He picks a meek china salesman; a prostitute; a forger; two ex-vaudevilleans who hate road hogs; a condemned man; a mild-mannered clerk; a boisterous marine; and an oppressed inmate of an old ladies' home.Written by
Rod Crawford <email@example.com>
The Ernst Lubitsch segment starring Charles Laughton, "The Clerk," is included in the Criterion edition of Design for Living (1933), spine #592. See more »
The La Rues purchase 9 vehicles from the used car lot and drive out in one car followed by 8 other vehicles. At the end of the day when they are down to one car, they only pay off 6 drivers. See more »
Herewith is a check for One Million Dollars presented to you by the undersigned. There are no conditions or restrictions attached to its use. I can only caution you to use it wisely and to the best of your ability in the promotion of your own happiness and welfare, for which procedure there seems to be no established precedent. Should you encounter any difficulties regarding this check, you may reach me at the above address. I will not, however, assume the responsibility of advising ...
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Some local censors deleted objectionable scenes in the "Violet" and "Death Cell" segments. In "Violet," when she throws off the covers and removes her stockings, and in "Death Cell," the preparation for execution and the opening of the door to the execution chamber. See more »
(I'll Be Glad When You're Dead) You Rascal You
Written by Spo-De-Odee
Sung by an unidentified male voice on a record See more »
IF I HAD A MILLION
This is one of those films that exists in a cinematic no-man's land, because it is in a legal copyright tangle. That is very unfortunate, because IF I HAD A MILLION is one of the finest of the early talkies. The story has a dying millionaire who doesn't want to see his fortune go to greedy relatives. Instead, he selects some names at random from the city directory and decides to give them each a million dollars. First, he gives the money to Charles Ruggles, a henpecked husband who is always having his salary deducted when he accidentally breaks china at the china shop that he works at. His nagging wife won't let him be. So, to get revenge, he takes his million to the store and breaks every piece of china in the place. Wynne Gibson as Violet is the next to get her million. She is a prostitute at a local bar, and she takes her money to rent a private hotel room for the night, to sleep alone. Gangster George Raft is unable to cash the check because he's been arrested for forgery. Next, three marines believe the check to be a fake and give it to a friend, who finds its true worth and spends it on himself. Convict Gene Raymond learns of his new-found fortune as he is being led to the electric chair. Office clerk Charles Laughton takes his money and tells off his boss. And in GRANDMA, kindly old May Robson uses the money to spruce up the old ladies home, Idyllwood. But the highlight is the W.C. Fields sequence, in which he, fed up with road hogs, buys a whole lot of used cars to use as an army against the oncoming traffic. All in all, IF I HAD A MILLION remains a true classic.
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