The Dentist (1932)
Benford's Tough Son: So, you're the guy that hit my father on the head.
Dentist: Yes, you want to make anything out of it.
Benford's Tough Son: [socks him in the jaw]
Arthur - The Iceman: [rising to the Dentist's defense] I'd like to see you do that again.
Dentist: Is it necessary for him to do it again?
Dentist: [as an unconscious golfer that he hit in the head with his ball is dragged away] Get those teeth out of there, too, they're right in my lie.
Mary - Dentist's Daughter: [after her father has patted her on the derriere as she looks into the ice box] Fifty pounds and chop it fine.
Dentist: [reading from a newpaper] "Mrs. Unclebeck..."
[looking up when her words have sunk in]
Dentist: What do you mean, "Fifty pounds and chop it fine"?
Mary - Dentist's Daughter: Oh, I thought you were Arthur.
Dentist: Who's Arthur?
Mary - Dentist's Daughter: He's the man I intend to marry.
Dentist: Oh, well, don't tell me anything about it - I'm only your father. I can read in the newspaper. What does he do for a living?
Mary - Dentist's Daughter: Well, he's the iceman.
Dentist: [shocked] An iceman?
Mary - Dentist's Daughter: Yeah, he goes to college. He's a Cornell man.
Arthur - The Iceman: [voice from outside] Iceman.
Mary - Dentist's Daughter: Red Grange was an iceman.
Dentist: He's still an iceman as far as I'm concerned.
Miss Peppitone - Patient: [nervously] You won't hurt my leg, will you? My doctor says I have a very bad leg.
Dentist: [looking at her shapely leg] Your doctor is off his nut. I don't believe in doctors anyway. There's a doctor lives right down the street here. Treated a man for yellow jaundice for nine years - then found out he was a Jap.
Dentist: Shall I use gas?
Miss Peppitone - Patient: [nervously] Well, gas or electric light. I'd feel nervous to have you fool around me in the dark.
Dentist: Where are my glasses?
Mary - Dentist's Daughter: They're on your head.
Dentist: Oh, yeah, thanks. Where's the newspaper?
Mary - Dentist's Daughter: You're sitting on it.
Dentist: Where are my golf clubs?
Mary - Dentist's Daughter: In your golf bag.
Dentist: Yeah, but, where's the golf...
Mary - Dentist's Daughter: You just fell over it.
Mary - Dentist's Daughter: Where's the ice?
Dentist: In the icebox!
Mary - Dentist's Daughter: There's just a little piece left. Now I'll have to get some more.
Dentist: Keep that iceman outta here! I'm going to order a Frigidaire.
Dentist: Where's my cap?
Mary - Dentist's Daughter: You never wear any.
Dentist: Oh, yeah, that's right.
Dentist: Open that door!
Mary - Dentist's Daughter: I can't. You locked me in.
Dentist: Where's the key?
Mary - Dentist's Daughter: In your pocket.
Mary - Dentist's Daughter: Father, you're not *really* going to buy a Frigidaire, are you?
Dentist: [turning in a huff and addressing Arthur the Iceman in an gruff "okay-you-win-but-I'm-not-happy-about-it" tone] Fifty pounds of ice and make it snappy.
Mary - Dentist's Daughter: [leaps into Arthur's arms for a joyful kiss, relieved that her father has accepted her beau]
Dentist: [to his assistant who is frantically trying to get his attention about the patient screaming in pain in the waiting room as he tells a golf story to another patient] Oh, to hell with her!
Dentist: Were they burned up. You could have fried eggs on the back of his neck.
Dentist: A dog bit you?
Miss Peppitone - Patient: Yes. It was a little dachshund. What a little tiny dog.
[bends over, backside to the Dentist]
Miss Peppitone - Patient: He sneaked right up behind me and he bit me right like that.
[pointing to her ankle]
Miss Peppitone - Patient: And I was standing with my back to him and here he was, this little dog, who bit me - right - here!
Dentist: [looking at her backside] You're rather fortunate that it wasn't a Newfoundland dog that bit you.
Miss Peppitone - Patient: [screams] Oh, Doctor! I can't let you do that again!
[hurries out of the room moaning]
Dentist: [talking to his Dental Assistant behind the chair while patient Miss Mason eavesdrops on the conversation] When I tell you to go out and tell one of these palookas that I'm out, go out and tell them I'm out. Don't have these buzzards walk in on me.
Miss Mason - Patient: [thinking the piece of fallen ceiling plaster the Dentist pulls from her mouth is a tooth] Why, it came out easily, didn't it.
Dentist: Yes it did. Yes it did. A surprise to me.
Dental Assistant: Relax. Would you like a drink?
Miss Mason - Patient: What is it?
Dental Assistant: Water.
Miss Mason - Patient: No, thanks.
Dentist: [referring to his patient, Miss Mason] Is that female wrestler gone?
Dental Assistant: Yes, she's gone.
Dentist: That kid's so dumb he doesn't know what time it is.
Charley Frobisher: Say, by the way, what time is it?
Dentist: I don't know.
Dentist: Have you ever had this tooth pulled before?
Miss Mason - Patient: No!
Dentist: This won't hurt you - much.
Dentist: Don't stand behind when I'm shooting!
Dentist's Caddy: You told me to stand over there, sir.
Dentist: Never mind where I told you to stand. You stand where I tell you!