Slim Summerville: Tjaden
Albert Kropp : Ah, the French certainly deserve to be punished for starting this war.
Detering : Everybody says it's somebody else.
Tjaden : Well. how do they start a war?
Albert Kropp : Well, one country offends another.
Tjaden : How could one country offend another?
Tjaden : You mean there's a mountain over in Germany gets mad at a field over in France?
Albert Kropp : Well, stupid, one people offends another.
Tjaden : Oh, well, if that's it, I shouldn't be here at all. I don't feel offended.
Katczinsky : It don't apply to tramps like you.
Tjaden : Good. Then I could be goin' home right away.
Paul Bäumer : Ah, you just try it.
Katczinsky : Yeah. You wanna get shot?
Tjaden : The kaiser and me...
[the others laugh]
Tjaden : Me and the kaiser felt just alike about this war. We didn't either of us want any war, so I'm going home. He's there already.
Hair-peak soldier : Somebody must have wanted it. Maybe it was the English. No, I don't want to shoot any Englishman. I never saw one 'til I came up here. And I suppose most of them never saw a German 'til *they* came up here. No, I'm sure *they* weren't asked about it.
Paul Bäumer : No.
Detering : Well, it must be doing somebody some good.
Detering : Not me and the kaiser.
Hair-peak soldier : I think maybe the kaiser wanted a war.
Tjaden : You leave us out of this!
Katczinsky : I don't see that. The kaiser's *got* everything he needs.
Hair-peak soldier : Well, he never had a war before. Every full-grown emperor needs one war to make him famous. Why, that's history.
Paul Bäumer : Yeah, generals, too. They need war.
Tjaden : Me and the Kaiser, we are both fighting. The only difference is the Kaiser isn't here!
Ginger - the Cook : [looking at soldiers lined up to eat] What do you want?
Katczinsky : Beans, you homely-looking son of a frog's leg! What do you think I want?
Ginger - the Cook : [the men shout that they're hungry] Shut up! I'll feed you when you're all here.
Tjaden : We're all here now!
Ginger - the Cook : Only half the company's here. Get the rest! Wake 'em up!
Katczinsky : [the men laugh] I wish I could wake 'em up. There's 80 of us left. The rest is in dressin' stations or pushin' up daisies!
Ginger - the Cook : [shocked] 80? And I cooked for 150!
Westhus : All right, we'll have enough for once. Come on, dish out!
Tjaden : You mean you've cooked beans for 150?
[the cook nods]
Tjaden : And you've got bread for 150 and sausage for 150 and tobacco for 150?
Ginger - the Cook : Everything. It's all wrong. I should have been notified!
Katczinsky : What a feast! Everyone gets two issues!
[the waiting men shout]
Katczinsky : [trying to keep order in the ranks] Get back in line! Get back in line!
Ginger - the Cook : Oh, no, that woun't do. I can't give 80 men what's meant for 150.
Katczinsky : [he starts to punch the cook but thinks better of it and tries to be persuasive] Listen, you drew rations for the Second Company, didn't yuh?
Ginger - the Cook : Yes.
Katczinsky : All right, we're the Second Company!
[the men shout]
Ginger - the Cook : I got my orders.
Albert Kropp : [agreeing with Kat] That's right.
Paul Bäumer : We're the Second Company and if only half of us get back, that's our good luck. Come on, dish it out!
Ginger - the Cook : [the men shout] No!
Katczinsky : [grabbing the cook by the throat] You're the yellowest baboon that ever drew a cook wagon, and you're scared, and it shows! All we want to hear out of you is one more little yip, and we'll cut yuh up and eat you raw! Why, you keep your kitchen so far back of the lines, we never get anything to eat until it's cold and we're asleep. Now, you low doen rat, get out, or we wreck the joint, so help me!
[the men shout]
Katczinsky : Come on, give us some food!
Tjaden : They tell me there's some people in this world take a bath every week.
Tjaden : There used to be some food in the sawdust. Now it's all sawdust.
Katczinsky : [entering and seeing the new recruits] What is this?
Tjaden : [sarcastically] Volunteers for the future general's staff.
Katczinsky : [to the recruits] Oh, sometime I'm gonna take one of you volunteers apart and find out what makes you leave school and join the army. At ease. This is no parade ground.