"You have got to keep up with the bandwagon or quit." This never impressed old Wilkins so forcibly as when his son and daughter give him the go-by, stamping him as a "has-been," and away out of the game. Even Mrs. Wilkins, who is as vivacious as a widow, snubs him. He keenly feels his condition and resolves to alter it. With this in view, he enlists the services of Professor Dyem, the celebrated Dermatologist and Tonsorial Artist. After a session with the Professor, beheld the transmogrified Wilkins. What a change! Shorn of his grizzly beard, his locks raven, complexion florid, eye clear and step elastic, he views himself in the mirror. He hardly recognizes himself. In fact, it requires his valet to convince him that he is he. "Am I in it? Well. I guess. If I don't keep up with and even beat that bandwagon by a city block, my name is not Pill Wilkins." He sallies forth and makes for the park. The first person he encounters is his wife. He approaches her in elation, but she mistakes ...
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