How Many Episodes Of "Two and a Half Men" Have You Seen?
A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
After 12 years of marriage, Alan's wife, Judith, kicks him out. He turns to his older brother, Charlie, for help. Charlie has trouble adjusting his carefree lifestyle with the presence of his ten-year old nephew.
Big Flappy Bastards (2003)
Alan punishes Jake for an incident at Judith's house. Charlie is lax in enforcing Alan's restrictions, then some seagulls invade Charlie's house as a result of Jake's actions, Charlie has to learn how to discipline his nephew.
If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake (2003)
Jake sees a butterfly tattoo on the firm bottom of a surfer-chick friend of Charlie's and draws a picture of it for school. Of course, this enrages Judith until she becomes very good friends with the woman herself.
Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful (2003)
After being tricked into helping Alan and Judith produce Jake's classroom musical, Charlie is flattered to find out that the kids know all the words to his jingles. Alan is blind-sided with divorce papers from Judith, causing strife which results in Charlie, who refuses to deal with the pre-pubers without a snootful, having to produce the play on his own. Jake is crushed when he realizes that a reconciliation between his parents may never happen.
Phase One, Complete (2003)
Charlie wants to dump a female friend to whom Jake has grown attached. Alan and Rose bond over a game of Scrabble.
Merry Thanksgiving (2003)
Thanksgiving winds up being the least thankful day of the year for Charlie, who has to bribe various members of his household to even come to a traditional turkey dinner. Not only are the usual feuds in evidence (leading to a turkey-carving right out of "Psycho") but Judith's parents are actually sympathetic to Alan and hostile to their own daughter for her "fling" with lesbianism.
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor (2003)
Seeing Judith's new look and boyfriend prompts Alan to realize that if he wants to get back into the dating scene, he will need to change his look also.
Sarah Like Puny Alan (2004)
Charlie tries to nurse Alan back from the flu because he needs him for a double date with sisters.
I Can't Afford Hyenas (2004)
Charlie's accountant Stan tries to make Charlie understand his desperate financial situation.
That Was Saliva, Alan (2004)
Now that Frankie has tricked the Harpers into taking her and her daughter Joanie in, she explains that Bob's parents want her declared mentally incompetent in order to get custody. Charlie wants to dump her, but Alan insists on taking them both in. Jake doesn't enjoy the 8 year old's 'romantic' attention. Charlie hates the consolation kisses and compliments, and is stunned when Frankie prefers intimacy with Alan. Charlie rightly warns him he's just falling for his 'damsel in distress', but warns her not to hurt his kid brother.
An Old Flame with a New Wick (2004)
Charlie's old flame, Jill, comes for a visit, she had an operation and is now called "Bill". Then Evelyn starts dating Bill.
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark (2004)
Jake plays electric guitar all day long and doesn't want to do anything else. Alan and Charlie can't figure out why. Jake refuses to discuss anything with anyone, including his grandmother and even a psychologist.
No Sniffing, No Wowing (2004)
Charlie tries to seduce Alan's divorce lawyer, Laura, and her assistant. He sleeps with Laura and they decide not to tell Alan anything since it's unethical, considering that Charlie is a participant in the case.
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet (2004)
Charlie notices that Alan sleepwalks and tries to find out what's causing it and how to deal with it. He asks for help from their mother, Evelyn, and Jake's psychologist, Dr. Linda Freeman.
Just Like Buffalo (2004)
Jake repeats something Charlie says to Judith. Then Judith refuses to let Alan take Jake for the weekend. Alan tries to talk to Judith, but encounters resistance from Judith and her friends. It's up to Charlie to set things right.
Can You Feel My Finger (2004)
Charlie is sure he isn't ready for fatherhood after a year of trying to raise Jake, so he opts to have a vasectomy. But when the doctor performing the procedure keeps getting calls from his wife -- who's about to give birth -- Charlie starts to think about what fatherhood might entail and likes the idea, provided he still has his vital organs intact (in more ways than one).
Back Off Mary Poppins (2004)
Charlie is having some friends coming over to his house to have a gathering but Alan is not invited. Things got worse when Alan is also not invited to Judith's party even though her guests are Alan's friends.
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls (2004)
Alan is hurt after finding out Judith is seeing Jake's pediatrician. Meanwhile, Evelyn tries to find out why Charlie hates her.
A Bag Full of Jawea (2004)
After Jake flips off his teacher, Alan and Judith move to punish him. Charlie, meanwhile, has other plans for Jake's teacher. Chaos ensues when Jake discovers the relationship and the increasingly overbearing Miss Pasternak tells Charlie she believes God brought them together.
Go Get Mommy's Bra (2004)
After Charlie reluctantly lends Evelyn his new car, he later discovers her bra in the back seat. Meanwhile, Alan is forced to compensate after Jake gets attached to Judith's rich and talented boyfriend.
Bad News from the Clinic (2004)
Charlie is dating a self-assured woman who plays hard to get, easily dismisses him, and he finds it disarming. Rose gets Charlie to see that his new lady-friend, Sherry, is in his head because she is just like him; a self-centered, manipulative, narcissist. Charlie debates breaking it off. Alan and Jake fiercely battle wills over Jake doing his homework.
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana (2004)
Evelyn announces she is receiving an honor from the real estate industry and that Charlie and Alan will host a party in her honor. Mayhem ensues when Berta and her sister agree to cater the event, but sibling rivalry takes center stage.
Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers (2004)
Alan gets carried away with a woman he met at the supermarket, and it's up to Charlie to talk some sense into him while shielding Jake and Judith from what's going on.
Yes, Monsignor (2004)
Charlie runs into a newly-divorced ex, now single mom, who's willing to give him another shot. Back home, Jake tries to diagnose his learning problems.
The Salmon Under My Sweater (2004)
Charlie struggles to write a jingle for a new cartoon. Meanwhile, Alan spends time with Rose, and Jake procrastinates doing a book report.
Last Chance to See Those Tattoos (2004)
Charlie sets out to find who started a derogatory web site about him. Meanwhile, Alan overhears something he shouldn't on Jake's webcam.
A Lung Full of Alan (2005)
An old classmate is in town while Charlie and Alan spar over whom she likes more.
Smell the Umbrella Stand (2005)
Charlie and Alan's weekend trip to Las Vegas has a little trouble getting off the ground.
Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam! (2005)
Berta teaches Jake something about cleanliness while Charlie's in pain after a sexual encounter went horribly wrong.
It Was Mame, Mom (2005)
Charlie cons Alan into being his date at his gay friend's dinner party. But how long can they keep up the act?
A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise (2005)
A freak food-flinging accident leaves Alan with impaired vision, which doesn't bode well especially when he draws a liking to one of Charlie's exes.
A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On (2005)
After one of her ex-husbands dies, Evelyn summons Alan, Charlie, and Jake to the funeral, where Charlie takes a keen interest in the widow.
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab (2005)
After finding out that Jake has spent the night at his other grandparents's house, Evelyn insists that Jake spend a night at her place. After convincing Jake to stay at her place, Alan and Charlie worry about how Jake will be affected by his overnight visit.
Does This Smell Funny to You (2005)
Jake recounts his weekend in which Charlie's latest fling is with a woman who turns out to be married to a now very angry old man.
Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover (2005)
Alan has to lobby the principal to keep Jake from getting expelled, while Charlie is left to manage the chiropractic office for the day.
Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark (2005)
After it's revealed Alan and Judith have been trying to reconcile, Charlie, Evelyn, and Rose vie for the role of spoiler.
We Called It Mr. Pinky (2005)
Charlie's inability to reciprocate his girlfriend's love forces him to examine his relationships with women.
Hi, Mr. Horned One (2005)
Charlie's Satan-worshiping girlfriend has a knack for the supernatural, and seems to be the cause of some strange happenings around the Harper house.
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop (2005)
Charlie gets drunk and sleeps with Rose on her birthday. Rose says she knows it's no big deal. But her father quickly shows up at Charlie's house, under the impression that they've been dating for two years.
That Voodoo That I Do Do (2005)
Charlie bribes Jake into taking ballet lessons so he can vie for the affections of the teacher. Things go awry, however, when Charlie and Jake find themselves competing for those affections.
Something Salted and Twisted (2005)
After Alan goes on a dinner with Jake, Charlie and Evelyn, he becomes fed up with seeking approval from women and decides to quit doing so with a little help from Charlie.
Santa's Village of the Damned (2005)
Alan's girlfriend Sandy is Malibu's answer to Martha Stewart, causing Alan and Charlie to pack on the pounds. Their desire for her fabulous culinary output is ultimately overwhelmed by her craziness.
That Special Tug (2006)
After a disastrous evening out with his brother, Charlie decides it is time to see a shrink.
Humiliation Is a Visual Medium (2006)
Charlie has to decide whether he can really commit to a serious relationship with Mia, especially when sex is currently off the agenda. Unsurprisingly, his suggestion that he sleep with other women in the meantime falls on somewhat stony ground.
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded (2006)
As Charlie tries to receive his version of benefits from the relationship he has with Mia, Alan starts dating Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.
My Tongue Is Meat (2006)
Forced to hide in his garage to enjoy a brace of beers and half a Cuban cigar, Charlie's attempts to keep his unhealthy lifestyle habits secret from Mia fall apart when she smells bacon on his breath, resulting in their first major argument since taking their relationship to a physical plane.
The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer (2006)
Charlie is nominated for an award, but he knows his rival Archie will win, as usual, so he doesn't want to attend it. Rose asks Charlie to help her with her boyfriend Gordon.
Golly Moses, She's a Muffin (2006)
Charlie learns that Kandi has been living with them for three weeks. It turns out he hasn't even noticed some furniture changes. Alan wants to try her as secretary, but Charlie doesn't think she's smart enough for that.
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro (2006)
Alan is made to admit to Charlie, who keeps hitting it in, he has hit rock-bottom now that his brainless girlfriend Kandi has moved in with his ex. It's all so confusing that Jake would prefer dad's ladies to be lesbians, then tells him Kandi's ma Mandi has joined Charlie's endless list of sexual conquests. Alan can't talk to Kandi, she just repeats Judith's phrases, clearly without understanding the words, but he sees her dad, Mandi's ex Andy, arrive on blind date with his own ex Judith. Frolicking finale at Judith's, in rooms, bed and hot-tub...
And the Plot Moistens (2006)
Alan turns to Jake's teacher for stimulating conversation, since Kandi obviously can't provide any. But the teacher starts to get the wrong idea about Alan's intentions.
Just Once with Aunt Sophie (2006)
Jake has his first boys-girls party, dating a smart girl, Wendy Cho. Alan was looking forward to coaching his son, but even Jake, who spends his schooldays watching the clock tick, isn't dumb enough to consider dating advice from the worst womanizer in L.A., while Charlie proves he can coach a virtually hopeless case -Alan and Judith's genes without the IQ- trough appearance, dance and anything else. In fact Alan envies Jake so much, he still hopes for ...
Arguments for the Quickie (2006)
Mia comes back and asks Charlie to donate his sperm. He agrees to, but for some unknown reason he can't deliver.
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite (2006)
Charlie and Mia discover that setting up a wedding with their two crazy families is a disaster, so they decide to get married in Las Vegas.
Working for Caligula (2006)
Kandi dumps Alan, which forces him and Jake to move back in with Charlie, who was just getting used to getting his bachelor pad back.
Who's Vod Kanockers (2006)
Charlie starts to lose control now that Mia's gone and Alan and Jake are back, and his frustration culminates in a violent confrontation with his new neighbor, Steven Tyler.
The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress (2006)
In the middle of a near-death experience, Charlie thinks he hears his father's voice tell him to take care of his mother, who is just about to have a "minor procedure" performed on her.
A Pot Smoking Monkey (2006)
Alan wants custody of the dog Chester he shared in his late marriage with Kandi. Meanwhile, Charlie helps Jake with his girlfriend.
A Live Woman of Proven Fertility (2006)
When Judith announces she is going to remarry, Charlie and Alan must convince her fiancé to proceed with the nuptials after he displays signs of cold feet, so that Alan can discontinue alimony payments to Judith.
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head (2006)
Charlie reluctantly agrees to help Berta as she confronts the man who impregnated her youngest daughter and Alan tells Charlie about a secret fetish.
Release the Dogs (2006)
After a bout with insomnia, Alan is escorted home from a midnight run on the beach by the local sheriff's department. Jake fights back when Charlie goes back on his word about not dating his friend's mother.
Corey's Been Dead for an Hour (2006)
Charlie finally gets fed up with Alan always weaseling his way out of picking up a bill, and it only gets worse when he discovers Alan's secret stash of money.
Kissing Abraham Lincoln (2006)
Charlie's new live-in girlfriend is skating on thin ice with Berta because she threatens Berta's "alpha dog" status, and Kandi lets Alan have sex with her again so that he won't sell the condo.
Walnuts and Demerol (2006)
Charlie's quest to get laid on Christmas Eve threatens to fall apart when everybody shows up at his house and refuses to leave.
Castrating Sheep in Montana (2007)
Alan is seeing Berta's daughter behind everyone's back. But when Berta finds out, Alan is shocked and a little disturbed by her positive response.
Don't Worry, Speed Racer (2007)
Repressed memories come back to the surface for Charlie after Jake talks about hearing his mom having sex.
That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami (2007)
Charlie tries to set up Alan with the sexy and rich new next-door neighbor who is looking to settle down. But when Charlie discovers her secret history as a drunken slut, he decides to go after her himself.
My Damn Stalker (2007)
Alan takes a stab at online dating, and Rose tells Charlie that she's moving away.
Young People Have Phlegm Too (2007)
Charlie tries to convince himself and Alan that he's not too old to be part of the wild, young party crowd.
I Merely Slept with a Commie (2007)
After Charlie and Alan tell their mom that nobody loves her enough to attend her funeral, she replaces them with a new family, which makes both of them very jealous.
It Never Rains in Hooterville (2007)
Alan feels the pangs of fatherhood disappearing as Jake grows, and contemplates his future with Kandi, who is contemplating on a new career move.
Smooth as a Ken Doll (2007)
Alan thinks he's making his last alimony payment to Judith, but Judith's future sister-in-law could be putting the wedding in jeopardy. And things only get worse when she hooks up with Charlie.
Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot (2007)
Alan sees nothing but troubles in his future as Charlie's relationship with Judith's future sister-in-law blossoms.
Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous (2007)
Everyone suspects that Alan may be coming out of the closet when he becomes good friends with a gay man. But Charlie is actually the one who is suddenly feeling insecure about his sexuality.
Mr. McGlue's Feedbag (2007)
When Alan has to go renew his driver's license, he convinces Charlie to help Jake with book report. But when Charlie takes Jake to the track, instead, Jake's horse comes in.
Prostitutes and Gelato (2007)
In an effort to bond with Alan and Charlie, Evelyn's new boyfriend invites them on a trip to Vegas with all the frills.
Large Birds, Spiders and Mom (2007)
Jake is ready to begin junior high school, until Alan scares him by telling him about all of the horrors that he experienced. Meanwhile, Charlie has a rash in a most inopportune area.
Media Room Slash Dungeon (2007)
Charlie and his mom temporarily become friends until Charlie takes an interest in one of her married clients, and Alan goes to bed with a woman who has self-esteem issues.
Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo (2007)
Charlie humors Alan by going on a date with a woman his own age instead of a young bimbo. But when the woman rejects him after the first date, he becomes obsessed with seeing her again.
City of Great Racks (2007)
Charlie is getting serious with Linda. But lately he seems to be seeing his ex-stalker, Rose. Has she returned from England, or is it his imagination?
Putting Swim Fins on a Cat (2007)
Charlie hasn't had a paying gig for months, so Alan becomes part of a drug study to make extra money. Meanwhile, Charlie tries to bond with Linda's four-year-old son.
Help Daddy Find His Toenail (2007)
A medication mix-up causes Charlie to humiliate Linda at an important dinner, and Jake disobeys his dad's orders and sneaks out to attend a rock concert.
Is There a Mrs. Waffles? (2007)
Charlie discovers that being a children's singer means making lots of money and picking up single moms. But he also discovers that he's going to have to overcome his fear of performing in front of large audiences.
Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids (2007)
Charlie ignores his future step-father's advice and gets involved with his daughter, and he learns the hard way that he should have heeded the warning.
Kinda Like Necrophilia (2007)
Alan finds out that Charlie stole his girlfriend in high school, so he sets out to even the score.
Meander to Your Dander (2008)
Alan's latest relationship has grown stale, so he turns to Charlie for advice about how to break up with her.
A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh (2008)
Charlie is suffering from a bad cold, and Rose suddenly and mysteriously resurfaces to "take care of him." So why isn't Charlie getting any better?
The Soil is Moist (2008)
Alan sleeps with a woman he and Judith were friends with when they were married, who then tells him that Judith says her new husband is a better lover than him.
Winky-Dink Time (2008)
Charlie sets up Alan with a prostitute, and accompanies Jake on a double date.
Rough Night in Hump Junction (2008)
Charlie is acting even more promiscuous than normal, which is getting him in trouble with a lot of husbands and boyfriends. With the help of his psychiatrist, he discovers it's related to his ex-fiancée's upcoming wedding.
Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty (2008)
Alan helps to plan his mother's wedding, and Charlie makes some moves on the woman who will soon be his stepsister.
Fish in a Drawer (2008)
Parody of "CSI" in which a body is found in Charlie's bed, and detectives try to figure out who is the killer.
If My Hole Could Talk (2008)
Charlie dates a self-help author who is much older than he is, has a 32-year-old son, and treats Charlie more like a son than a boyfriend. Jake tries to write a book report over the weekend, but keeps losing the book before he can read it.
Waiting for the Right Snapper (2008)
Alan has a crush on Charlie's new older girlfriend, and Charlie discovers that he "dated" his girlfriend's son's fiancée. Meanwhile, Alan tries to get Jake to study for his algebra exam.
Taterhead Is Our Love Child (2008)
Charlie runs into an ex with a child who looks and acts a lot like him. He begins to suspect that he is the child's father.
Pie Hole, Herb (2008)
Charlie kicks Alan out the house again after Alan demands that Charlie pay him back the $38 he owes him. Alan and Jake are now forced to turn to Judith and Herb for a temporary home.
Damn You, Eggs Benedict (2008)
Alan tries to date two women at once and Charlie tries to learn how to cook. Jake tells Alan that he's studying with a friend, but he gets drunk instead.
The Flavin' and the Mavin' (2008)
Alan is angry when Charlie hooks up with his secretary because he knows that the situation will end badly for him after their inevitable breakup.
A Jock Strap in Hell (2008)
Charlie gets more than he bargained for when he tries to make amends to one of Jake's old teachers that he dated, who went off the deep end and became a stripper after he broke up with her.
It's Always Nazi Week (2008)
Alan is overjoyed when he learns that Judith and Herb's marriage is on the rocks, but he gets more than he bargained for when he tries to fake-comfort her. Meanwhile, Herb tries picking up women with Charlie's help.
Best H.O. Money Can Buy (2008)
Alan and Judith start seeing each other again after Judith's breakup with Herb, Herb continues to turn to Charlie for help picking up women, and Charlie messes with Jake by threatening to get him sent to military school.
Pinocchio's Mouth (2008)
Charlie's month-long relationship threatens to go down the tubes when she asks him to spend the night at her house instead, and Alan grounds Jake for mooning some girls on a school bus.
The Mooch at the Boo (2008)
Alan realizes what a babe magnet Charlie's car can be, while Charlie is left with the neighbor when his daughter disappears with Jake.
The Devil's Lube (2008)
Charlie contemplates making some changes in his life after an old buddy and partner in crime drops dead on the balcony of his beach house.
Thank God for Scoliosis (2009)
Alan considers hooking up with his receptionist--until he meets her mother, and Charlie and Jake fight for the affection of a beautiful woman
I Think You Offended Don (2009)
Judith is pregnant, Alan believes he is the father, and Judith tries to keep him away from Herb. Meanwhile, Charlie tries to figure out why Jake is so irritable.
David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie (2009)
After his family acts mean-spirited during Alan's "surprise" birthday party, Alan decides he's had enough and moves in with his girlfriend and mom.
She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime (2009)
Charlie needs Alan and Jake's help getting rid of the drunk, half-naked bimbo passed out in his bed when his girlfriend tells him she's coming home early from a funeral.
The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'? (2009)
Charlie is so desperate to get Chelsea to return his accidental "I love you" and not lose control in the relationship that he is willing to propose to her just to make her say it.
The Two Finger Rule (2009)
Charlie, Alan and Herb commiserate with each other when their stupid decisions put them on the outs with their significant others.
Hello, I am Alan Cousteau (2009)
Charlie is disturbed when his mother meets Chelsea and starts spending time with her, but he has a plan for revenge.
Above Exalted Cyclops (2009)
Chelsea sets up Alan with her new "friend" Rose--the same Rose who stalked Charlie for years. But to Charlie's surprise, the two of them hit it off.
Sir Lancelot's Litter Box (2009)
Charlie winds up in more hot water with Chelsea because he doesn't want her moving in with him.
Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth (2009)
Charlie is angry when Alan and Chelsea become good friends, until he figures out how to use the situation to his advantage.
Baseball Was Better with Steroids (2009)
Chelsea is jealous when Charlie's ex fiancé, Mia, calls him--perhaps rightfully so. Meanwhile, Judith goes into labor, Herb is incapacitated, and Alan runs into his ex-girlfriend and receptionist at the hospital.
Chelsea encourages Charlie to help his ex-fiancé Mia launch her music career, but does he still have feelings for her? And what if she's a terrible singer? Meanwhile, Alan wants Charlie to let Melissa move in with him.
Mmm, Fish. Yum. (2009)
Alan is forced to take care of Judith's baby when Judith's mom falls off the wagon, and Jake tries to blackmail Charlie when he runs over Chelsea's cat.
Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator (2009)
Alan takes a job with his mom so that he can move out and have alone time with Melissa, and Chelsea is upset about the way that Jake is treating her.
For the Sake of the Child (2009)
Jake refuses to stay with Charlie and Alan after they embarrass him in public, so Alan tries to convince Charlie to work together to settle their differences and stop fighting with each other.
Give Me Your Thumb (2009)
Alan suggests that Chelsea get breast reduction surgery and Charlie kicks him out.
Untainted by Filth (2009)
After Charlie and Chelsea set their wedding date, Charlie and Alan go out and get drunk and wake up in bed together with a strange woman.
Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. (2009)
Charlie invites Chelsea's sexy friend to stay at his place while she gets over a breakup, secretly hoping that he will get a chance to have kinky three-way sex.
Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair (2009)
Charlie is crushed when he discovers he hasn't been satisfying Chelsea and Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair on the cheap.
Warning, It's Dirty (2009)
Against Alan's wishes, Charlie encourages Jake to hook up with a pretty girl he met on the beach since Jake's girlfriend is out of town for Christmas.
Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste (2010)
Jake writes love songs to woo his ex-girlfriend, and Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship from Judith's watchful eye.
Yay, No Polyps (2010)
Charlie endures a colonoscopy to get out of a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents, only to return home and find them in his living room.
Crude and Uncalled For (2010)
Alan ends up in jail after a bar fight, and Charlie worries that Chelsea might be interested in the lawyer who takes the case.
Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2010)
When Charlie's jealousy threatens his relationship with Chelsea, he turns to Alan for help in becoming a better person. But will he be able to pull it off?
Tinkle Like a Princess (2010)
Charlie reacts to his breakup with Chelsea by taking the first tramp that he sees and marrying her in Las Vegas.
I Found Your Moustache (2010)
Charlie and Chelsea get back together for one night, which leaves Charlie mistakenly believing that they are back for good.
Ixnay on the Oggie Day (2010)
Charlie hooks up with Chelsea's best friend, which could cause problems when Chelsea wants to get back together. Meanwhile, Alan is paid handsomely by a chiropractic patient who wants a different kind of adjustment.
Keith Moon Is Vomiting in his Grave (2010)
Alan dates the mom of one of Jake's friends instead of telling her that her son and Jake went out drinking, but Charlie surprisingly does not approve of his actions.
I Called Him Magoo (2010)
Alan's plan for a romantic overnight getaway with his girlfriend hits an unexpected snag, while Charlie has an unusual request for his overnight companion.
Gumby with a Pokey (2010)
While Alan and Jake go to Sacramento to pick up a grandfather clock, Charlie gets a prescription for medical marijuana to help him sleep and forget about Chelsea.
This Is Not Gonna End Well (2010)
Jake becomes Charlie's driver after Charlie has his license suspended, and to Charlie's chagrin, Alan makes plans to attend Chelsea's birthday party.
Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud (2010)
Alan unsuccessfully tries to keep Jake from finding out that he's sleeping with his friend Eldridge's mom; Charlie contemplates giving up drinking after an unusually wild night he can't remember.
A Pudding-Filled Cactus (2010)
Alan moves in with Lyndsey but continues to have a rendezvous with Melissa at Charlie's house.
Twanging Your Magic Clanger (2010)
Charlie has second thoughts about the woman he's dating when he discovers she's 47, but his attitude suddenly changes when he discovers she has a sexy, bisexual, 20-year-old daughter.
The Crazy Bitch Gazette (2010)
Charlie's past comes back to bite him when his girlfriend decides that his stalker Rose is too much to handle.
Springtime on a Stick (2010)
Jake gets Alan to invite Evelyn to Charlie's house for her birthday dinner to get revenge for Charlie ruining his chances with a classmate; and Alan and Charlie get Charlie's pharmacist to come along as Evelyn's date.
A Good Time in Central Africa (2010)
While Berta is out for the weekend, Charlie finds the perfect replacement housekeeper; when Lyndsey starts dating Alan again, her ex starts stalking him.
Ow, Ow, Don't Stop (2010)
Charlie goes on a spending spree for his old fling Courtney, who shows up after three years in prison for conning him out of money.
Dead from the Waist Down (2010)
Alan is ashamed that he can't afford to buy Lyndsey a birthday present, so he gets creative.
Lookin' for Japanese Subs (2011)
Charlie continues to obsess over Rose--whom he thinks is married--after running into her at the store, and Jake and Eldrige begin recording their own "Jackass" rip-off.
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak (2011)
Alan's efforts to ask family for money to help promote his struggling chiropractic business turns into a Ponzi scheme, and Charlie continues to see Rose, still completely unaware that her "husband" is actually a mannequin.
That Darn Priest (2011)
Rose becomes wise to Alan's Ponzi scheme and threatens to tell his family--until Alan discovers the truth about Rose's "husband."
Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt (2011)
After the death of Charlie Harper, Alan faces the reality of moving out of his brother's beach house - until he meets a depressed Internet billionaire whose wife just left him.
People Who Love Peepholes (2011)
Walden buys Charlie's house and hires Berta as his live-in housekeeper, forcing Alan to move back in with his mom. However, Alan sees an opportunity to come back when Walden asks for advice about getting his wife back.
Big Girls Don't Throw Food (2011)
While preparing for a romantic dinner with his wife, Walden accidentally talks Jake into dropping out of school.
Nine Magic Fingers (2011)
Alan begins working on getting Lyndsey back, but his days at Walden's place may be numbered after Walden hooks up with Charlie's gold-digger ex girlfriend, Courtney.
A Giant Cat Holding a Churro (2011)
Lyndsey dumps Alan after he agrees to be completely honest about his past, and a stoned Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing him a party.
The Squat and the Hover (2011)
Alan convinces Walden to see Charlie's old shrink after he gets his divorce papers from Bridget, but his spirits are soon lifted after he meets a lesbian who looks like her.
Those Fancy Japanese Toilets (2011)
Walden hires Evelyn as his interior decorator, but Alan is convinced that she just wants to take advantage of him sexually. Meanwhile, Alan inherits Charlie's journal, and Jake has a crush on his tutor, but she has a crush on Walden.
Thank You for the Intercourse (2011)
Still emotional after Charlie's death and jealous over Walden's ability to pick up hot single women, Alan takes a break from reality and channels his inner Charlie.
Frodo's Headshots (2011)
Upon his return from the "stress clinic," Alan finds out that Jake got his girlfriend pregnant, Walden and Lyndsey are sleeping together, and he has to move out immediately.
A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes (2011)
After Jake talks Walden into asking out a woman he meets at a supermarket, Alan considers hocking Walden's incredibly expensive wedding ring to get out of debt.
What a Lovely Landing Strip (2011)
Just as Walden appears ready to pursue a new relationship with Zoe, Bridget returns and says that she wants him back.
One False Move, Zimbabwe! (2011)
Walden's mother arrives for Christmas and Alan is smitten with her, even as she reveals a secret about a "pet" from Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.
Slowly and in a Circular Fashion (2012)
When Bridget and Walden's mother try to take control of Walden's company, Walden puts Alan on the board. But can he be trusted once Walden's mother gets to him?
A Possum on Chemo (2012)
While Zoe pressures Walden into shaving and cutting his hair, Alan discovers that Lyndsey is dating a younger man.
The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack (2012)
Walden looks for ways to spice up his lackluster love life with Zoey, including a batch of Berta's "special" brownies.
Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy (2012)
Alan and Walden are stuck at home with their feuding girlfriends on Valentine's Day because of a torrential storm.
Not in My Mouth! (2012)
When Zoe doesn't return his "I love you," Walden retaliates by immediately picking up on another woman.
The War Against Gingivitis (2012)
Walden's estranged ex-business partner comes to him with a billion-dollar business idea, and another secret or two.
Palmdale, Ech (2012)
Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers to each other, while Walden spends the night hanging out with Jake and Eldrige since Zoey is still out of town.
Grandma's Pie (2012)
Zoe is upset when she finds out that Bridget is a business partner in Walden's latest venture, while Alan and Lyndsey have an awkward dinner with their moms, who are now lovers and are planning to move in together.
Mr. Hose Says 'Yes' (2012)
Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey.
Why We Gave Up Women (2012)
Charlie's spirit returns from Hell in the form of a middle aged woman to tell Alan to make some changes to his life after his heart attack.
The Straw in My Donut Hole (2012)
Alan decides to take advantage of the guilt felt by his family and Walden after his heart attack, but Zoe knows that he's just milking it and sets out to prove it.
Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! (2012)
Jake and Eldridge make an important decision about their future after they graduate from high school and get fired from their jobs at Walden's new company.
A Big Bag of Dog (2012)
While Alan becomes obsessed with off-brand teeth whitening, Walden begins to crack up over his breakup with Zoe.
Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt (2012)
Alan agrees to Lyndsey's idea of having a threesome with Walden, but Walden can't follow through because he's still in love with Zoey.
Ferrets, Attack! (2012)
Just as Walden considers making a big move in his relationship with Rose, Zoey re-enters the picture and asks him to take her back.
Avoid the Chinese Mustard (2012)
Jake goes AWOL from the Army to spend another weekend with Missi, and Walden hires an actress to play the role of his girlfriend.
Something My Gynecologist Said (2012)
Alan loses Lyndsey over his refusal to make a long-term commitment, while Walden becomes a "boy toy" for a rich older woman who has no idea that he's a billionaire.
I Scream When I Pee (2012)
Alan's second ex-wife, Kandi, could spoil Alan's new long-term relationship with Lyndsey. Meanwhile, Walden tries to celebrate Berta's birthday.
One Nut Johnson (2012)
Walden creates an "Everyman" persona and finds a woman who isn't interested in him because of his money.
Give Santa a Tail-Hole (2012)
While Walden takes a job as a Christmas tree salesman as part of his ruse, he gets a billion dollar business proposal from Mark Zuckerberg. Meanwhile, Alan finds himself completely alone at the beach house for the holidays.
Welcome to Alancrest (2013)
While Walden's health and other bedroom issues begin to suffer as a result of living a lie, he gives Alan 100,000 dollars to "invest" in Kate's fashion line.
Run, Steven Staven! Run! (2013)
Alan, Walden, Billy, and Herb spend the night out together commiserating over their exes after Lyndsey dumps Alan one more time.
Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It (2013)
Alan is alarmed when he discovers that Jake's new girlfriend is almost twice his age, has three children, and owns a tattoo parlor.
Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby (2013)
Walden is delighted when Kate flies to LA and asks an appointment on Valentine's Day. Alas, she only wants friendship, still prefers 'Sam' and now has just a busy calendar as Walden, so no next date can be booked. For once, Alan decides to 'spoil' Lyndsey on Valentine's Day by booking a hotel suite he can't really afford. But pubic grooming on himself goes so bad she has to drive him to hospital instead. Rose is unsuspecting Kate's new business partner, who lures her to China.
The 9:04 from Pemberton (2013)
After Alan and Walden fight over a toaster, Alan moves out and goes back to his old house to live with Herb.
Another Night with Neil Diamond (2013)
Alan is crushed when Lyndsey dumps him and immediately starts dating a new man, and Walden is crushed because he is now completely stuck with Alan--again.
My Bodacious Vidalia (2013)
Walden treats Alan to an image makeover, and he attracts a married woman with a much older husband who cannot satisfy her in bed.
Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped (2013)
Walden dates a sexy young woman, but is actually more interested in her grandmother. Meanwhile, Alan and Jake take a final road trip together before Jake leaves for Japan.
Walden is forced to deal with two freeloading Harpers when Charlie's daughter that nobody knew he had arrives at the beach house.
I Think I Banged Lucille Ball (2013)
Charlie's daughter Jenny moves in with Evelyn and her 91 1/2 year old boyfriend, and Lyndsey cheats on her new boyfriend with Alan.
This Unblessed Biscuit (2013)
Berta is injured on the job, and after getting in an argument with Walden over retirement, she decides to quit.
Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank (2013)
Walden makes a big mistake while partying with Jenny and her friends, and Alan has to make a big sacrifice to keep up appearances with Lyndsey.
Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie (2013)
Alan and Walden hook up with a pair of theme park princesses until Lyndsey's jealousy of Alan's new flame ruins everything.
Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room. (2013)
A private investigator tells Lyndsey's boyfriend that she is cheating on him with Walden, and Rose tries to help keep Walden out of danger.
Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer (2013)
Walden has a date with an injury-prone model, and Alan sleeps with a woman who then reveals that she used to be a man.
Tazed in the Lady Nuts (2014)
Walden is hired by a former employee he fired to write code for a new project, and Alan suffers an unfortunate tick bite while hiking with Jenny and her girlfriend.
Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball. (2014)
Alan lets Lyndsey's boyfriend Larry set him up on a date, while Walden offers to help Nicole with her software project, so that she will have the time to date him.
Bite Me, Supreme Court (2014)
Marty proposes to Evelyn, and she accepts. But after Alan and Walden throw Marty a bachelor party, he abruptly calls off the wedding.
Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe (2014)
After Alan learns that Lyndsey broke up with Larry and didn't tell him, he makes a big decision. Meanwhile, Walden sets out to prove that he's a man's man.
Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin (2014)
Alan turns to Judith for comfort after Lyndsey accepts Larry's marriage proposal, and Jenny is worried that Brooke is blowing her off.
How to Get Rid of Alan Harper (2014)
Alan takes an interest in Larry's sister after "Jeff Strongman" agrees to be his best man, and Walden is concerned about his relationship with Nicole.
Welcome Home, Jake (2014)
Lyndsey discovers that Alan is sleeping with Larry's sister, Gretchen. Meanwhile, Walden finds it difficult with telling Barry to find his own place.
West Side Story (2014)
Walden's reunion with his ex-girlfriend Kate does not go as planned, and Alan takes Gretchen over to "his apartment."
Lan mao shi zai wuding shang (2014)
Just as Walden is considering proposing to Kate, he falls for a random stranger who arrives at his beach house. Meanwhile, Gretchen discovers that Alan's "Jeff Strongman" persona is a lie.
Lotta Delis in Little Armenia (2014)
Walden's therapist tells him to have plenty of random casual sex to help get over falling in love too quickly, and Alan's new business venture provides him with the perfect opportunity.
Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot (2014)
Walden goes to Colorado with Jenny and Barry after he finds his first car. Meanwhile, Alan loses Gretchen after he considers telling Larry the truth about "Jeff Strongman."
Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead (2014)
When Alan and Gretchen get engaged and Larry calls off the wedding, Lyndsey goes off the deep end. Meanwhile, Walden creates a smart-aleck robot.
The Ol' Mexican Spinach (2014)
When Walden has a health scare on Halloween, he tries to re-prioritize his life with the help of Alan.
A Chic Bar in Ibiza (2014)
Alan has second thoughts about getting married when Walden has him sign a prenup.
Glamping in a Yurt (2014)
Alan and Walden must be perceived as a loving couple during a meeting with an adoption social worker. However, Lyndsey returns from rehab and makes their plans more difficult.
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. (2014)
Walden looks after a foster child named Louis,but they don't bond the way he hoped they would.
Alan Shot a Little Girl (2014)
Much to Walden's frustration, Louis successfully manipulates Alan, who cannot resist the opportunity to finally get to become the cool parent.
Sex with an Animated Ed Asner (2014)
Walden and Alan befriend a group of sexy single moms while taking Louis out to play, which makes it even more difficult to keep up their charade.
Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey (2014)
Walden hopes to create the perfect Christmas experience for Louis, who has lost his faith in Christmas. But Santa, Alan's mom Evelyn, and Alan's cheapness threaten to ruin everything.
Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey (2015)
Walden and Laurel set up a playdate for their kids so they can pick up where they left off the last time they got together. Meanwhile, Herb asks Alan if he can ask Lyndsey out.
Here I Come, Pants! (2015)
When Ms. McMartin discovers that Walden and Alan are pretending to be gay, she threatens to take Louis away. However, Alan has a plan to help her change her mind.
For Whom the Booty Calls (2015)
When Walden joins a support group for adoptive fathers, he discovers that it is a nice getaway from Alan.
A Beer-Battered Rip-Off (2015)
Walden worries that Louis' adoption will be impacted when Alan breaks up with their social worker.
Boompa Loved His Hookers (2015)
Walden discovers that Ms. McMartin is crazy and needy after they hook up, but he doesn't want to break up with her and mess up the adoption. Meanwhile, Lyndsey asks Alan to move in with her.
Don't Give a Monkey a Gun (2015)
When their divorce becomes official, Walden offers Alan a gift. Alan's impractical choice strains his relationship with Lindsay.
Of Course He's Dead: Part 1 & 2 (2015)
Alan begins to suspect that Charlie is still alive, which is confirmed when he receives a threatening package and Rose tells the truth.