Review of Beast

Beast (I) (2022)
2/10
The writers/director clearly have never owned a cat
24 August 2022
Other headlines I thought about using are "Rooting for the lion" and simply "Idiots." This movie is so dumb. And this is coming from someone who frequently enjoys dumb stuff. I'm the target audience for this type of movie. Yet I couldn't stop noticing how dumb everything was.

And there is a variety of dumb. The most obvious are the idiots that fill this movie. It's staggering the amount of times a character does the worst possible thing. Don't get me started on the forced family drama. It made me want the lion to eat them.

But the parts that annoyed me the most have to do with the lion. The people who made this movie either did zero research on lions, or didn't care and assumed the audience is stupid. They hope you don't know that cats can see in the dark. Or that cats can smell their prey. Or that cats have a keen sense of hearing.

(Infomercial voice) And that's not all! This lion can almost fit its entire head under a car, but doesn't use his arm to reach. Cats can reach at least half the length of their body with their arm. Also, this lion has a thousand chances for killshots and decides not to take them.

This is turning into a rant, but I can't help it. Cats are lethal predators. Even little house cats HUNT AND DESTROY without mercy. This lion has to be the worst lion in the history of lions. Apparently this lion's weakness is small knives. Ugh. That would be like fighting a linebacker with a needle.

Why not take advantage of the R-rating? This is the perfect kind of movie to go extra bloody and violent. But it's so tame. Why did they CG the humans in scenes with CG lions? It's very noticeable. Why is this listed as horror? It's not scary.

In conclusion... terrible movie. I left the theater thinking 3 stars, but after writing this review, it's a 2. (1 viewing, UltraScreen 8/23/2022)
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