Bird Box (2018)
2/10
Awful and pretentious!
11 January 2019
Warning: Spoilers
I remember reading somewhere, that "Hollywood's output is littered with trash films"... well yes, I agree, and this film is the latest trash offering in Hollywood's incessant litany of trash!

The film is full of flashbacks, with nothing clever about them... just confusion initiated by a director trying to be too clever, and winding up unsuccessfully so.

How some people, with obviously no taste nor sense of critical appraisal, can rate it so high (some gave it an 8, 9 and even 10 on IMDB...!) as to equal it with the likes of "Gone With The Wind" , "The Apartment", "The Godfather", "Citizen Kane", etc etc etc... is beyond my comprehension.

So, yet again, here we have another waste of my time. The concept of the movie has been done so many times in the past, but with fog, rain, zombies etc., and is furthermore filled with the typical shock-style clichés and predictability of similar low-grade movie efforts. The result? Terrible, intelligence-insulting, left-wing propaganda, clichéd, slow, boring, daft and very predictable.

It hits a ludicrous level of unbelievability with silly scenes such as the trio falling off the boat and into the raging whitewater and coming up again with their blindfolds intact. In reality, there is no way their blindfolds would've stayed on... NO WAY whatsoever! Also (earlier) to ask us to believe the group were able to negotiate their way down the street to the supermarket in the car - totally blind! - is a completely silly ludicrous ask. Similarly, navigating the boat down the river- in effect, BLIND... oh for God's sake! Gimme a break from this nonsense!

What about the cop and the druggie just disappearing...! No explanation. Well, in that case, what was the point of them being included in the first place then? They gave no depth nor reason to the cockeyed 'story'.

Later, we're given no explanation whatsoever why the little boy and little girl haven't been given proper names... just "boy" and "girl". Come on! We're also asked to believe that the three love-birds, having been put through the mill, tossed and turned and battered from pillar to post... are STILL alive at the end, they survive it all! The director missed a trick here... if she'd made them parrots, you could say they'd 'survived to tell the tale'!

Neither is there any explanation as to what's going on. What are these demons/aliens? I think the reason is a political one... in other words, could the whole concept of the invading aliens be a projection of yet more left-wing, globalist, anti-white, political propaganda set to try and influence society? Hmmm... I'll say no more.

Rubbish movies often contain rubbish acting... well I wasn't disappointed, the acting wasn't great although it could have been worse. Even... EVEN John Malkovich was well below par. Maybe it was something to do with such a poor script, although his reaction to his wife killing herself was - let's say - a bit insipid and insincere... he barely blinked an eye to it.

So, no more than a basic 1 point on the rating scoreboard for that. A further score-point just has to be removed for an ending that smacked heavily of more left-wing political belching, promoting a multiculturalism homogenisation of society... and how nice we'd all be as one. Simple... guff!

Overall though, a completely, slow, boring, terribly clichéd, corny, daft, unsatisfying, unsatisfactory and disappointing attempt at a movie.

If people are easily pleased and unable to give a sensible - comparative - appraisal... I give them my blessing, they can watch the film to their heart's brain-numbing content.

If, however, they have a keen sense of critical movie appraisal, and have great respect for the quality of *true* classics... I happily suggest they don't waste their time.

This film, a poor attempt at 'Hitchcockian' suspense, is testament to badly thought out scripting and directing. Hitchcock will be spinning in his grave.

I paraphrase someone else who - somewhere - said: 'It would be better watched blindfolded!' He was so right!

THIS... FILM... IS... TRASH!
2 out of 5 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed