I think it's safe to state that I never, in my entire life, tried so desperately hard to like a movie; - yet failed. "The Neptune Factor" stood on my must-see since many years because there were several indicators looking positive and promising. I love adventure/disaster movies from the 70s. I worship films with aquatic monsters, regardless of how trashy and cheesy they look. Heck, I'm even on a personal mission to track down every single movie in which Ernest Borgnine starred. Well, if I'll ever achieve something in this lifetime, I sincerely hope it's discouraging other people to watch this piece of dreck! The simple and honest truth is that "The Neptune Factor" is a film of monumental, unsurpassable and indescribable dullness! I still don't fathom how the story of a deep-sea rescue mission, for a manned research lab lost due falling into an ocean floor crack following an earthquake, can possibly be this boring, and yet I just witnessed it with my own eyes. These people are supposedly racing against the clock to save their friends and colleagues' lives, so the very last things I expect are 10,000 scenes moving at sea-snail pace or characters endlessly looking at each other and sipping coffee. After a full hour of infuriating and talkative tedium, the four-headed submarine finally descends into the unexplored abyss and you subconciously develop a tiny bit of hope that the film might improve. Alas, "The Neptune Factor" instead becomes even more pitiable and imbecilic, because director Daniel Petrie begs us to believe that optically enlarged and utterly harmless sea animals (sea horses, anemones and even a god-damn goldfish) are viciously lurking, bloodthirsty monsters. How retarded do they think we are? Not even Walt Disney movies dared to pull this off! And as for you, Mr. Borgnine, I'm sorely disappointed!
Review of The Neptune Factor
