Monstrosity (1987)
2/10
Absolutely horrible.
26 July 2018
Effectively combining comedy and horror is a skill, one that Staten Island auteur Andy Milligan clearly never mastered. Monstrosity, one of the director's last movies, starts life as a straight-up exploitation flick, with a trio of thugs terrorising a Los Angeles neighbourhood, slashing the neck of an old man, hijacking a car, and beating and raping a young woman named Ronnie (Audra Marie Ribeiro). Then, to ensure that Ronnie doesn't identify them to the police, the gang's leader pays the girl a visit in hospital, cutting open her belly and yanking out her intestines (a messy moment guaranteed to please gore-hounds). Understandably, Ronnie's boyfriend Mark is a little upset and wants revenge.

At this point, Milligan abruptly changes tack, having Mark and his friends Scott and Carlos come up with a preposterous plot to even the score: build a 'golem' from human and animal body parts stolen from med school, and send him to kill the baddies. As the pals clumsily stitch together their creation, who they call Frankie, it quickly becomes apparent that Monstrosity is actually a horror comedy - a really inept one. As matters progress, Milligan proves time and time again that he is one of the worst film-makers ever, with scene after cringeworthy scene of utter drivel that is neither scary nor funny. Just when you think it can't get any worse, Milligan proves that it can. Building a monster for revenge is dumb; making him wear a bright orange afro wig and sweatband is dumber. Having Frankie (Hal Borske) fall in love with a mentally challenged punk called Jamie (Carrie Anita) is ridiculous; their marriage conducted by a guardian angel called Angelo (Joel Weiss) is even more so.

As with the other Milligan movies it has been my misfortune to see, the direction is terrible, the editing clumsy and the performances amateurish. According to Wikipedia, Milligan didn't drink and was anti-drugs, but its hard to believe that this is the work of someone not 'under the influence' - it's that bat-s**t crazy and so utterly dreadful. The aforementioned disembowellment is definitely the film's highlight, and there are a couple of other cheap but enjoyable gore effects, but none of that counts for much when the rest of the film is so bloody awful.

1.5/10, rounded up to 2 for IMDb.
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