Near Dark (1987)
On the stupid scale somewhere between Twilight and Blade
30 November 2017
Warning: Spoilers
A 'cult classic', apparently, but in actuality, a very silly vampire movie.

Severen, the vampire brood leader, who must be at least 140 years old (he started the great Chicago fire and fought in the American civil war). He has turned a bunch of school dropout hillbillies and they roam the highways of the US, feeding on whomever they come across. That's the best he's managed in 140 years.

They think they're like wolves, top predators, but they're more like vultures, their victims are the weakest and most vulnerable. They live in whatever vehicle they've most recently stolen and hide from the sun each day in random locations.

Despite leaving a trail of bodies wherever they go (they never attempt to hide anything), and usually mass destruction, not to mention stealing a lot of cars, they evade the police easily. There is one shootout with the cops, which they escape by driving away in a panel van. The police are riddling their location with bullets, then they drive away, and the cops are like, eh, at least we tried. Time for donuts.

So they turn a new recruit (it seems to be a thing they do when one of them is bored), but he doesn't want to be a vampire. So his father, a wheat farmer, saves him and his new ex-vampire girlfriend, with a full blood transfusion. Wait, what?

On the stupid vampire movie scale, it falls somewhere between Twilight and Blade. A remake of this movie was put on indefinite hold when Twilight came out, because their basis was considered too similar. Near Dark came out the same year as the original 'The Lost Boys'. This was the last movie made by F/M Productions, who went belly-up shortly after. I'm not surprised.


Jenette Goldstein, vampire girlfriend of the leader, pretty sure she bit the kid so she could pretend they had a family. Formally Vasquez in Aliens, will be with Paxton again in Titanic

Lance Henriksen, the leader of this band of losers. Also in Aliens with Paxton. It was producer James Cameron (who would later marry the director) who suggested that these 3 Aliens actors be in this movie Jennie Wright, bored high school dropout vampire. Was the groupie in Pink Floyd: The Wall

Adrian Pasdar, human/vampire/human. Most famous as Nathan Petrelli from Heroes. Least famous as the voice of Iron Man in nearly every Marvel cartoon. Had a bit part in the Martini Ranch's music video 'Reach' (Paxton's short-lived rock band)

Not Starring

Johnny Depp, who failed the audition. He hadn't done much up to this point, but same year he would star in 21 Jump Street, which started his career. If he had gotten a role in this clunker of a movie, he might have remained forgotten like most of these actors

Michael Biehn, who would have been the 4th Aliens actor in this movie, but he didn't like the script.
17 out of 32 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.

Recently Viewed