Review of Patricia

Patricia (1981)
About what you'd expect
8 July 2016
I wouldn't recommend this to anyone who doesn't regularly watch brain-dead Euro-sex films (and won't know what they're in for), but by the standards of that generally dim-bulb genre this is pretty OK. It's directed by German sexpolitation director Hubert Frank, who did the superior "report"-film "Unfaithful Wives" and the memorable "Emmanuele" knock-off "Vanessa" (both currently available on legitimate DVD). It also features French actress Anne Parillaud, who later found mainstream success in movies like "La Femme Nikita" and "Innocent Blood". Even in her more "respectable" efforts, brunette beauty Parillaud managed to have full-frontal nude scenes, so naturally she has even MORE of them here.

Her character, of course, is a complete nit-wit, a spoiled heiress who brags to the media that she keeps in shape by "making love". Her father doesn't approve of her lifestyle and hires a handsome adventurer to lure her away from her no-good fiancée. But after he unexpectedly dies, leaving her his entire estate, she begins to suspect that one of her two paramours along with some members of her goofball family may be trying to kill her. . .

This movie very much resembles "Vanessa". Instead of being spanked by nuns as Olivia Pascal is in that film, Parillaud's character at one point is chased half-naked through a monestary by horny monks and then hides topless in a confessional booth (much to the consternation of the father-confessor). There's also a similar incest thing going on with her family. Like "Vanessa", "Patrizia" has an extended and completely gratuitous lesbian scene with a blonde female cousin (named "Pussy"), who in turn has sex with another male cousin while someone is trying to drown "Patizia" in the surf. There's lots of other madcap adventures as Patricia gets rides by flashing her breasts, flies around in a stolen helicopter, and helps members of her family finance a hilariously cheap-ass sword-and-sandals movie. Of course, the whole thing is dumb as hell and mostly just an excuse to bare acres of female flesh (and no small amount of male flesh), but what else would you expect from movies like this. . ?
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