The Crawlers (1993)
You think that smoking is bad for your health? Watch this...
15 April 2013
Warning: Spoilers
This movie wasn't just bad, it was stupefyingly, mind-numbingly bad. If I were in any way connected to the production this film... in ANY way.. I would sue to have my name removed from the credits, then legally change my name, renounce my United States citizenship, apply for gender reassignment surgery and then move to the most remote corner of the planet, just to avoid being associated with it.

How might I put this in comparative terms, film to film? This movie makes "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" seem like "The Avengers" by comparison.

The acting was beyond atrocious... worse than 1970s era porn. The scene where the two would-be corporate hit men get killed was genuinely, laugh-out-loud ridiculous. This movie is like a snowball of stupidity rolling steadily down the side of Mt. Everest. I had to keep watching just to see if it could get any worse as it went along. On that count, it did not disappoint.

I do have to tip my hat to the actor playing the corrupt sheriff in the film. His may have been THE worst performance that I have ever seen in any film. You may very well wish to gouge your eyes out with a dull, rusty spoon and lobotomize yourself with a barbecue skewer after watching this bomb.
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