4/10
Actual quote - "Fighting is one thing. But bad jokes is where I draw the line."
17 April 2009
Like the last movie, Police Academy 6 starts out with Harris and Proctor on some ridiculous mission to outsmart the rest of the crew and ensure that they get all of the glory for something or other. At least this time they're not breaking and entering like they were in the last movie, but have stationed them on a stake-out at a location that they are sure is going to be the next hit for the dreaded Wilson Heights Gang who, if nothing else, should definitely find someone else to come up with a threatening name so they'll sound more like a group of hardcore criminals and less like a gated community.

But in other news, Harris is in charge of his own precinct now, Tackleberry's got a son, and some old characters like Mrs. Feldman and Fackler are back. I have to admit that I am still confused by feelings of reminiscence for Mahoney, not the least reason for which is that, believe it or not, this is the first genuinely stupid entry in the entire series. Yeah, they're slapstick comedies, but my god, how many decades have people been splitting their sides watching slapstick comedies? You could argue that the slapstick was the first real narrative story-telling that came along in film, and the Police Academies are no different, they just haven't stood up to the test of time so well.

Oh, and they're also hampered by stupid-ass sequels like this one and the next one. And hopefully not part 8 which, at this point, remains theoretical.

So what's going on this time? We have another small group of mind-bogglingly stupid bad guys, which is not a bad thing in itself, but apparently someone took my words too seriously when I originally reviewed Police Academy 5 and said that the movies are essentially kid's movies, because in this installment we get a cartoonish villain that is a bizarre combination of the Wizard of Oz and Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget. I guess I should be more careful what I say when I review movies.

On the other hand, the first time I ever reviewed Police Academy 5 was about 22 minutes ago, so there is some legitimacy to the theory that it couldn't have affected the thought patterns of screenwriters Neal Israel and Pat Proft, who wrote Police Academy 6 back in the late 80's. But you never know.

But get this, here's the supervillain's scheme – he plans to use his henchmen to raise the crime rate in a certain strategic location in order to drive down property values, then he'll buy up all the property himself, see that the crime rate goes back down and the property values up, and then live like a king off the interest or whatever for the rest of his life. Actually, when you think about it, that's not the dumbest plot pattern. In fact, compared to how moronic the rest of the movie is, it's not that bad. At least they didn't have a villain who tried to outdo even the most outlandish 007 villains and like, you know, hold the sun for ransom or something.

Again, most of the original cast is back, but I still miss Mahoney and Zed, and the screenwriters (yeah, it took more than one to come up with this thing) unfortunately have no idea what to do with the characters that we've come to know and love laughing at. Everyone is undercover and their ridiculous assignments are supposed to generate automatic laughs from us, but worst of all, some of the scenes are such disassociated skits from the plot that the story as a whole falls apart. For example. in one attempt to get into a public place and question the public about the whereabouts of the criminals and whatnot, Jones, Calahan and Hooks go into a bar, where Jones puts on a show for all the barflies doing a brilliant impression of Jimi Hendrix to the delight of the crowd and then they leave without having learned or even trying to learn anything.

But at least it's in keeping with the rest of the movie, which is the first tremendous step down into the depths of idiocy in the entire series. If you thought any of the previous movies were stupid, MAN you're gonna love this one! But I do have to say that, like part 5, there are some moments in this one that I distinctly remember loving to death when I was about ten years old, like the scene where the huge bad guy who looks like a lumberjack comes outside with an ice-cream cone with like eight scoops of ice cream stacked up on it and goes, "Oh BOY!" but then takes one lick, pushing it off where it lands with an audible splat on the pavement and he goes, "Crapola!"

Okay, so it's not funny in writing. Sue me. But show me a ten year old kid who doesn't laugh at that and I'll show you a kid with some developmental problems that far exceed any of the time-wasting nonsense in this movie.

By the way, as I mentioned in my review of part 5, make sure to watch the little reminiscent documentary that you'll find on the DVD, it might be funnier than anything in the whole movie! Check this out, besides glorifying the movie like it's some overlooked Oscar winner, director Peter Bonerz (my god, can you imagine having THAT name in junior high school?) lists off the numerous references and homaaaaaages that can be found within its pristine contents, including everything from Orson Welles to Hitchcock himself!

Sadly, your brain has to be securely in the "off" position in order to enjoy the movie, but it may add to the comedy just to know that some effort was put in to put those references in there!!
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