Mausoleum (1983)
What possessed them to make this?
19 August 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Shrouded in fog and subject to constant violent thunderstorms (despite being situated in an otherwise very sunny and pleasant looking cemetery), the Nomed (oooh, how clever is that?) family mausoleum would probably be the last place I would choose to enter if my lineage was cursed by demonic possession. However, after fleeing her mother's funeral, Young Susan Walker Farrell happily seeks solitude in the spooky burial chamber, and becomes a host for the creature that resides within.

Years later, and the demon finally makes its presence known, turning the now married Susan (played by busty-but-otherwise-talentless starlet Bobbie Bresee) into a glowing-eyed, murderous nymphomaniac. After sleeping with and killing her gardener, bumping off a delivery boy, ripping her aunt apart, dropping a guy over a balcony in a shopping mall, scaring off the comic-relief home help (a crazy black housemaid who constantly jibber jabbers to herself), and partially devouring her husband with her slavering demonic breasts (I kid you not), Susan is saved by her shrink, who places a crown of thorns on her head, causing the monster within to crawl back to its crypt.

Mausoleum, as you can probably tell from my description, is a rather crappy horror that lacks anything even remotely resembling a coherent and logical plot. It is laden with abysmal visual FX and make-up, loaded with genre clichés (fog, thunder and lightning, rats, cobwebs etc.), features tons of terrible acting, and, despite some very cheesy moments, is pretty dull viewing.

Bresee gets her tits out quite a lot to try and compensate somewhat for her dreadful performance, but, even if she had done an explicit nude gymnastic routine in a hall of mirrors, it wouldn't have been enough to save the film from being a major waste of time. A dreadful twist/surprise ending (which also makes absolutely no sense) leaves viewers wondering just how such an obviously awful idea ever made it past the planning stage.
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