1/10
On a par with the Two Towers
22 May 2003
i.e. complete rubbish.

Now I don't want to put you folks off here. If you're under 17, emotionally sub-normal and you love Bullet Time effects to the point of unhealthy obsession, you'll love it! It's got everything: dialogue to die for ("Come on!", "Let's go!", "Oh no!", "It's an anomaly in the quasi-reality vector quadrant calculator sonic screwdriver bingy bongy boogy whatsit upside-down trouser jam flange socket!"), a Bullet Time sequence every 30 seconds, lots of whizzo special effects and a nu-metal sex scene optimally timed for the average 17-year-old male's time-to-climax. Oh yes, it's got the lot.

On the down side: no hobbits, orcs, elves, wizards, pixies, bog-trolls, tree-fairies, mud-wraiths or Brown Bandits. The truly desperate sad amongst you should take note and give this one a wide berth.

Seriously, though, you'll love it. It's got Keanu Reeves running round a big stick and some twins with funny hair. What's not to like?
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